


Walls, Masks and Plaid Shirts

by ShadowBL



Series: Plaid Shirts [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (well kind of), Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alpha Derek, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bad Parent Sheriff Stilinski, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Eating Disorders, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, M/M, Merpeople, POV Multiple, Sad Stiles Stilinski, Self-Harm, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles is Pushed Out of the Pack, Stiles-centric, Top Derek Hale, first in a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-10-22 14:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 60,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10699233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowBL/pseuds/ShadowBL
Summary: Stiles knows, he knows what they think of him, what they say behind his back, he knows that they don't need him.The pack don't mean to, they just don't see it before it's gone to far.Can they save stiles from falling into the bottomless pit they have helped life dig for him.





	1. The begining (well kind of) - Stiles POV

Stiles wants to think it started after the Nogitsune took control of his body and made his very own hands attempt to hurt and kill his friends. Want to believe that it was after his body (being controlled by a psychotic Japanese evil fox spirit) that they began to get aggravated and annoyed by him. Stiles just wanted to believe that his friends, his pack, didn't hate him, but stiles was not as naive as they thought he was, he knew the truth, he could see the looks of distrust and sometimes pure, undiluted hatred in their eyes as they would look at him. To them he was not pack, not family, not a friend. He never had been, honestly he had lost his only ever friend the second that a crazed, blood lusting Peter Hale's jaws clamped around a terrified Scott McCalls side. The second those sharp fangs pierced the skin there.

It was 23:47 PM according to the blinking clock 32.4 cm to his left, on his desk, where stiles sat scribbling facts about mermaids into a blue (all ocean/lake/other water related creatures were coded blue) notebook that was set 26.2 cm away from his laptop that was displaying one of the 8 open tabs form the depth of Google on all things 'Mermaid'. It was a necessity that he finished as much of this research before the pack had their meeting tomorrow so he could drop the information off and listen into their meeting (adding helpful, life saving pieces of information) while cooking dinner, he was thinking spinach and ricotta ravioli with a tomato and mozzarella creamy sauce (with lots of chunks of extra crisp bacon) and a side of dough balls with garlic butter. And breadstick (everybody loves fricking breadsticks). Goddammit, right where was he, ah fish people... Right. 

Flicking over to the next clean, crisp page in the notebook he wrote the number 9 in a circle in the top left had corner and opened the next tab on the computer, continuing the familiar process of skimming and noting down important information that he could use to compare with others to come to an educated evaluation of real life and myth, thought in his life myth and real life, well they were always normally the same thing. This process was repeated until 03:56 AM when on page 44 of the note book his eye lids became too heavy to continue to make sense of the words on his screen and the Adderall from his most resent dose had worn off, switching his brain back into frantic mode. With a flick of a thin (and weak) wrist the notebook slammed shut and stiles arched his back feeling his bones and joints pop into place as the curled off of the chair. 

Clambering out of the chair and striding (only almost tripping once) across his room stiles began to strip off his red plaid shirt and the underlying grey long sleeved t-shirt chucking them unceremoniously onto the still neatly made bed. Continuing his walk to the adjoining bathroom (probably the favourite part of his room) he continued stripping his clothes, discarding belt over the side table to his bed and letting his jeans pool around his ankles in a puddle of deep blue denim. Closing the bathroom door behind him and clicking the lock into place stiles turned to face the interior of arguable the most used room in the whole house. His bathroom was not massive but it was also not some closet where when sitting on the toilet your knees touch the opposite wall or your ass is pushed up against it when standing for a piss. It contained a small bath (that admittedly he had to fold in on himself a little for his lanky body to fit), a moderately sized shower cubicle, a toilet, a small sink, a wall cabinets (with mirrored doors), a cabinet under the sink and a full body length mirror stuck to the back of the door.

It was in this full length mirror that he took the chance to examine himself. Starting at his size 14 feet that he always tripped over, up his skinny almost twig-like legs (they did have some definition, he does a fuck tone of running away from the weekly big-bad) up to his thighs where his eyes linger on the sliver, pink and red lines patterning his pale skin (sporadically darkened by a brown mole or two). Simmering silver lines from weeks, months, years ago rippling when the light bounces off of them. Pink scratches slightly swollen and higher relief from the rest of the skin, deeper ones, one that have taken loner to heal. Red lines, the ones from Last night, two nights ago now? He didn't know, the days were once again only defined when the alarm on his phone went off to signal that he had to get his ass to school. These red lines were darker in places almost black, were he had sat and watched in fascination as the crimson liquid pooled and slipped in streaks down his thigh. They were going to leave longer more prominent scars than the others, he would have to put some of that cream that he found in the supermarket to get them to fade a bit.

His eyes continued up past his red boxer shorts, over his thin, flat stomach, not muscled and built like all his Wolfy/reptilian friends? What even were they now? Passing more moles, and soft pink nipples up his long neck, his slumped shoulders, his long gangly arms that are usually flailing about everywhere to distract people from the fact that when he is saying everything at once he is actually saying nothing. Back up to that pale, mole dotted neck, up to the sharp jaw, the strong cheek bones (the only bit he likes of his face, maybe even his whole body), they were his mother cheek bones, more subtle than her slightly upturned nose or the whiskey brown eyes he inherited that just cause his dad and him pain every time he sees them in the mirror.  His eyes slip back over the silver, pink and red, organised and unorganised straight lines scattered on his body, his thighs, wrists, arms, bisepts, hips, stomach. He then turns drops his boxers as steps into the steaming hot shower that begin to turn his skin red as the constant hollow pain is replace with a pleasant, slightly burning sting.


	2. Milk and Bread on your way - (Stiles POV)

A familiar buzzing awakens me from a sleepless haze where I study the textures on the top left hand corner of the wall adjacent to my bed. It take about 8 seconds and two shakes of my head for the world to come back into focus, the buzzing is my phone, vibrating against the wooden desk, the furious vibrating causing it to creep millimetre by millimetre to the edge of the desk. Another shake of the head to get the last of the thickness surrounding my thoughts and I swipe the 'x' glowing on the scream to stop the buzzing. The room is put back into a yawning silence, it would be easy, so easy to move my eyes back to the spot on the wall where I can make out the brushstrokes in the paint if I concentrate enough, but no it's Friday. 

Friday where I have to hall my ass off of whatever piece of furniture that I have found my self balanced on when the alarm goes off and walk around in a zombie-like state while I do life's necessities such as making myself look vaguely presentable (so Lydia doesn't snap my head off, I mean seriously you should think the woman had fangs of her own), take my Adderall so I can actually work as a proper human being and snap on the mask of happiness and humour supported by thick, unfaltering walls of sarcasm. All this before shoving whatever school work that is needed for the day into one bag and whatever is the pack needs for the meeting in another (read as a fuck tonne of research on Mermaids and a little on nymphs - What? I was intrigued) and bound down the stairs (feet catching on steps 6 and 10, jumping over 4 and placing both feet on 2) to gulp down a glass of water, pick up the note sitting next to the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter and rush out of the door, chucking the two bags into the passenger seat and leaping into the driver seat of my jeep (read as my baby).  
Time check, 07:26 AM, deep breath, peel note out of right back pocket of jeans (oh hey, I put on the dark grey ones today, hmmm), unfold paper annnndddddddd...

Left before you were up. Working late. Will eat at the station. Don't wait up.  
\- Dad

Well... Actually added an extra sentence today, must be a special occasion, I could hear the sarcasm dripping out even in my thoughts causing a breathy snort to come out my nose. Trailing my eyes over the note one more time I made a fist, relishing in the slight sting as my nails dug into my palm and place the crumpled piece into the empty cup holder. Time check 07:29 AM, a deep breath, two hands on the wheel gripping tight, squeezing eyes shut, release breath, open eyes and precisely 07:30 AM I pulled out of the drive of the house. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Exactly 12 minutes and 36 seconds later I am pulling up to my usual space in the parking lot of the school. Time check 07:41 AM, a deep breath, one tight squeeze of the wheel, squeeze eyes shut, release breath, drop hands, open eyes, grab bag, breath in, swing bag over shoulder, breath out, open door, put on shit eating grin and jump with just a little too much forced enthusiasm out of the jeep slamming the door behind me. Walking up the steps toward the school entrance is always touch and go, if I have made it before 07:32 (approximately) I can avoid walking pass Jason Trent, if I have made it after 07:32 (approximately), like today, well this happens.  
"Hey Freak!" Tuck chin down to chest, don't make eye contact. "Hey, Bilinski, I'm talking to you! Turn and face me you ungrateful bastard!" Crap!  
"Oh... Um... H..hey Jason, how are you this fine day?" Grin stretched wide enough to slightly burn? Check.  
"What the fuck do you think you are doing!" Jason turns to the others in his group, around 8 boys all in basketball sports jackets and a collection of foundation pasted girls in skimpy clothing, as if to ask his 'gang' what stiles was doing walking into school.  
"Um... Well... I go to school here?" It came out as more of a question, "I mean... Like this is the building I get my high school education in, much like the majority of the Beacon Hills population in the viable age... Ommfff" all the air rusted out of my lungs by one blow to the gut courtesy to Jason's right fist, I toppled back words and landed on the concrete on my ass, only tumbling (gracefully I might add) down 3 or 4 steps.  
The group (and the majority of pupils watching) burst into a bought of laughs, one girl, a skinny brunette (dyed, I think I can see the peaks of blond roots) in a skirt that could be considered a belt and foundation that made her appear to be the hybrid of an Oompa Loompa and a cheeto, giggled and pushed her slinky body against Jason's muscled front. 

"JT, baby, can we go inside now, I need to touch up my lipstick before first period and the show has gotten boring, he's just sitting there" her voice was high pitched and scraped against my eardrums. Her blue eyes were as sharp as her voice as she flicked her face in my direction and hisses "freak". She then spun on a 5 inch pink heal and lead the group up the steps in a bustling mass of Axe body spray and perfume.  
"Stilinski, what the hell are you doing sitting on you ass on the steps like a complete idiot, your in the bloody way, like always" I internally winced and spun my head around, sure enough Jackson was exiting his Porsche, Lydia and Allison already leaning on the side chatting, another two cars and a motor bike pulled up.  Cora, Erica and Boyd piled out of the Camaro (being driven by Derek), Scott and Isaac climbed off of the bike and the final cars window rolled down to reveal Peter... Okay then. 

"Well my reptilian friend, I think you will find that this particular patch of concrete is especia..." I was cut off buy Lydia "Well get the hell up, you are making that plaid shirt of your even more atrocious with dust" Ouch. I haled myself to my feet only wincing slightly at the sharp pain that shuddered over a rib... Oh for god sake.  
The pack started to walk up the stairs to the school, it was like some sort of sickly romantic action montage. Lydia had her arm linked with Jackson as they strode at the front of the group, slightly off to the right Scott and Isaac walked shoulder to shoulder, hands occasionally scrapping one another, stealing glances and hushed words. On the other side, slightly behind to the left strutted Boyd and Erica, Erica's right side was completely presses against Boyd's left, their hands joined in front of them gripping tightly, still scared to lose each other after the close call with both of them during the 'war' with the Alpha pack. Allison and Cora completed their perfect little picture, following up back, heads crouched towards each other in a deep, whispered conversation. The 'pups' of the Hale pack, striding together, the perfect little picture. A picture perfectly complete without Stiles. That was not a stinging in his chest, and if it was he still ached from Jason's punch.  
They continued to walk past where stiles stood examining them in a slight haze, shaking his head he turned and went to continue walking up the steps with them a slight distance from Cora and Allison only to hear Derek bark (hehehe bark) at him.  
"Stiles!" I flicked my head around, almost giving myself whiplash, I just nodded, slightly shocked Derek had said my name instead of one of the pup's.  
"On your way to the Hale house get some milk and bread, there is none left" oh groceries, right. I tried to hide my disappointment and slight pain by stretching out my grin further and replied in a dramatic voice.  
"Yes my dear sourwolf" his face remained blank.  
"Shut up Stiles". And with that Derek sped out of the parking lot with Peter in tow, who only paused to wink at stiles. Taking a deep breath I spun on my heal and sprinted up the steps after the reseeding pack. Breath in. Just complete the day at school. Breath out. Then go cook and clean for the pack. Breath in. Then go home. Breath out. Don't forget the bread and milk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers,  
> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Shadow xx


	3. Meetings, Movies and Breadsticks?- (Derek POV)

Waiting for the pack to come round to the old Hale house/new pack house was almost excruciating. Knowing that there was a pack meeting and then pack night to be had made Derek feel... well happy? It was almost terrifying if it didn't make him want to smile. Derek liked to think that he was becoming to be a better person, a better friend, a better father/older brother figure to the others in the pack and ultimately a better Alpha. They had defiantly had enough trial and error, what with a psychotic Peter, then a psychotic Gerard Argent, then a psychotic Jennifer, then an Alpha pack (also somewhat psychotic), then of course the nogitsune (the memories seeing Stiles like that still sends shivers down his spine), then the dead pool and of course the dread doctors and Theo's pack.  Also all the other supernatural creatures in between, rogue omegas, faeries (curse those stupid buggers) and witches, to only name a few.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of the slick wheels of a Porsche followed by the rumbling of a motor bike engine and the laboured acceleration of that goddamned jeep. He peered over at Peter who just rolled his eyes and flipped over to the next page of the large leather bound book in his lap with a light snort of amusement at the noise the puppies made as they bundled up the porch. Scott and Isaac rushed into the living room first, Scott continued into the kitchen and got out glasses for the two of them while Isaac flung himself over the back of one of the two love seats, sprawling out on the deep blue fluffy blanket (picked out by Lydia, of course). The next to enter the room was Cora who walked past Derek who sat in the arm chair that Stiles dubbed the 'Alpha's thrown' or 'Sourwolf's seat', patted her older brother on the head and very ungracefully plonked herself face down on the three sitter sofa with her head in Peter's lap. Peter just adjusted his book and began to carefully run his fingers through his niece's hair. 

The pack continued to flow into the room at a steady rate. Boyd and Erica came in together holding hands as Erica led Boyd over to the large silver-grey bean bag on the floor next to the fire place and the two mates lowered down into the seat and curled around each other so easily it made Derek's wolf coo and whine. Next came Jackson and Lydia, the latter of the two who commanded Jackson to get her a drink before coming to join her on the remaining love seat where she elegantly sat under the cream blanket. Allison slunk into the room with her hunter's grace and went to sit next to Cora on the sofa, gently lifting the other girls legs and placing them back onto her lap once seated with a gentle smile shining on her face. The final person walked into the room. Stiles. Stiles who walked into the kitchen, unceremoniously dumped his bag onto the closest counter, rummaged around in a pocket of his jeans, fished out his keys and stumbled back into the living room. He watched as Stiles looked at the rest of the pack, a different sort of smile spread over Stiles face, not his normal wide and toothy shit eating grin, something about this one was different, he didn't know what. Stiles' shit eating grin returned after the shake of a head, "I'm going back into town to get stuff to cook with" his eyes shifted to Derek "and milk and bread" a little chuckle escaped the 18 year-olds lips, "anyone want anything". Silence. "Yeah didn't think so" Stiles continued with a stretching grin. Gees did he ever not have that stupid grin.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

It was half an hour before the pack heard the jeeps engine again, all of the pups and Peter's eye spun to the door, all with different degrees of confusion. It was Jackson who spoke up first "Wasn't Stilinski already here?". I looked at him with a blank stare, "seriously?" he just tilted his head to the right in quiet question. The whole pack still was directed toward the door as there was a grunt herd, the slam of an old car door, then the crunching of leaves and another grunt as the door swung open to reveal a slightly dishevelled Stiles. The boy was framed by the door hair sticking all over the place thanks to the wind outside, a dusting of red across his cheek bones and on his slightly upturned nose from the slight nip in the air and seven shopping bags wound around his arms. Once noticing that he had the attention of the pack on him he let out a nervous chuckle and a slight smile while kicking the door closed with a converse clad foot and stumbling with the bags to the kitchen.

The pack's eyes continued to follow the boy as he hissed before slipping the bags off of his arms onto the dinning table. There was something wrong, he could see the packs cogs turning in their brains. What happened next was almost creepy, the whole pack (minus Stiles), every single one of his Betas, sniffed the air (excluding Lydia and Allison, that would just be weird), then they all, in perfect synchronisation (this time including Lydia and Allison) whipped their heads round to look at him with wide eyes, slightly parted mouths and flared nostrils (well just the supernatural beings on that last one at least). Stiles began to hum a tune from some super hero thing and put all of the groceries away into the correct places while occasionally taking out dishes and cutlery and setting the table. The pack continued to watch as the boy walked over to his bag and pulled out a blue folder, placing it beside the bag on the counter, then reached above his head to the hanging pots and took down two filling one with water and putting the other on to the furthest away surface. We watched transfixed, I had never (probably neither has any of the pack) watched the frenzied efficiency at which Stiles moved about the Hale house.

The pack continued to watch Stiles as he worked (the supernatural beings noses occasionally flaring at that smell, which was being covered by what Stiles was cooking by the second), it was amazing, almost a dance. Scratch that it was a dance, a dance to another song stiles was now humming, one of the bands he listened to Derek realised. The pack sat and watched and Stiles rolled out dough balls and put them into the oven, their flowery scent adding to the amazing aroma coming from the kitchen. They watched with continuing fascination as Stiles swayed his slender hips in an almost hypnotic way and Derek had to catch himself before his eyes stayed too long on the boys surprisingly firm ass. Derek watched in a hypnotised state, along with the rest of the pack as the soft pillows of pasta that Stiles had been working on dropped into the water that was now boiling. Stile then moved back to his bag, produced two plastic containers and gently place them on the counter next to the blue notebook, which he then picked up, tapped the cover three times and began to move towards them.

Eyes were still following the boy as he placed the notebook on the black coffee table in front of Derek and then continued to move around the room picking up empty glasses and other dishes, still humming, everyone else had been completely silent since he slid the bags off of his arms. once recovering all the dirty items the boy moved back towards the kitchen area, paused for a second and stopped humming, the silence was almost defining, as if everyone was not wanting to even breath loudly. "Mermaids" Mer... what, Stiles must have taken our continual silence as confusion, "the information you wanted, there is somethings on Mermaids, Merpeople what ever you want to call them, also a bit on Nymphs for luck" a gasping chuckle form the boy. Then stiles continued the rest of the way into the kitchen area. The humming started again as stiles made a cheesy and tomato sauce (or that is what it smelled like anyway). Once shaking my head thoroughly the hypnotising fog of the boy was gone from my brain and I cleared my throat immediately gaining the rest of the packs attention, they watched in silence while I reached forward and pulled the notebook towards me, I fumbled with the cover a bit and felt the corner of my mouth lift up as I almost let slip a huff of laughter at the doodled Ariel in the bottom right hand corner. I thumbed over to the next page and once again cleared my throat, "So Mermaids".

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The pack sat and occasionally added queries and points into the information I was relaying from the notebook, 44 pages of neat yet frenzied writing and doodles and diagrams. Occasionally I would catch Scott or Isaac scent the air, slightly wince and the shake their head or Cora and Peter wince at the slight clanging notices that sporadically came form the general direction of the kitchen combining with the still constant humming. Even Jackson would periodically sniff or move his head with Lydia and Allison to carefully peak at the boy in the kitchen area. The smell of what stiles was cooking was flooding the Pack house and everyone seemed to relax further as that smell dissipated. The sound of glasses hitting off one another carefully and being placed at the dinning table was followed by the opening of various bottles and the sound of the tap running, then spoons bring moved out of drawers and the stead sound of the spoons clinking against plates as stiles served up. I read through the final page on Nymphs and smiled at the small scribbled note at the bottom.  
'Nymphs drown their victims after enticing them with their beauty and much like the kelpie will do this by dragging their pray to the bottom of their body of water before feasting on their flesh. A single victim will last an average Nymph 2-3 weeks - That's freeking crazy, right Sourwolf!'

Lydia added an extra comment about Nymphs that she had read in a book somewhere and the pack fell silent. Stiles strode into the room, ran a hand through his messy hair and gave a nervous smile to the pack who's eyes were all trained on the 18 year-old. Stiles cleared his throat, "umm... your dinner is served on the table, everything is ready for you, have a nice night" another nervous chuckle and all eyes followed the boy to the door where he stopped, opened his mouth and closed it again, then proceeded to hike his bag up his back and walk out the door, closing it carefully behind him. They all remained on their chairs sat frozen in the same place until exactly 7:20 pm when Stiles Stilinski drove out of the Hale House's drive. It took a second for them all to return to the situation and walk towards the dinning table, where the all stood in amazement at the table. Down the centre of the table almost like decorations, plates with towers of dough balls surrounded garlic butter and in front of each plate were plates with steaming parcels covered in a thick creamy sauce. In the dead centre of the table was a tall glass of... were those breadsticks? Everyone sat at there usual seats at the table and Derek unconsciously took a sip of his laid out beverage, which was his favourite, and looked up amazed when he took in that every member had a different coloured beverage in front of them, including Scott who appeared to have an alarmingly green beverage. Derek took his first bite first and suppressed a moan because... Oh. My. God.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

It was not until the pack were back cuddled up on pieces of furniture with there boyfriend/girlfriend, Derek on his 'thrown' and Peter slunk up the stairs muttering something about YouTube and whiskers, that Derek decided he didn't need to know about and there was a movie flicking across the screen in front of him that Derek thought back. His face must of been scrunched up oddly as Erica paused the movie and everyone turned to face him. My voice was almost a whisper when it came out, "When was the last time that Stiles stayed for a pack night, God when was the last time he stayed and ate what he cooked us?" I looked over to Scott. His face mirrored everyone else's, brow furrowed in thought and features contorted with confusion. "I...I don't know?" his voice came out small and confused. They all shook their heads and Erica unpaused the D.V.D and everyone's attention was brought back to the screen but they all had slightly furrows brows showing their bustling thoughts. I scented the air, I could still smell the sharp tangy scent of tomatoes and cheese from dinner, but underlying all of that the fading of that smell. The lingering smell of blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers,  
> Hoped you enjoyed this chapter! Any opinions you have would be great so I can hopefully improve my fics in the future!


	4. The shadow in my thoughts, the shadows that scream in the night - (Stiles POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF-HARM. DO NOT READ IF YOU WILL GET TRIGGERED! STAY SAFE!

At 19:43 pm I pulled into the parking lot to the station, I took a deep breath, squeezed the wheel, released the breath, squeezed my eyes shut, another deep breath, dropped my hands and opened my eyes, released my breath and at 19:45 pm I picked up my back pack and swung out of the jeep making my way to the front door of the station. The door opened on squealing hinges and a small bell went off to inform the woman at the desk that someone had entered. "Evening Trish, my Dad in the back?" I added extra enthusiasm to the words as they passed through my grin. Trish smiled back and replied in a voice that was smooth as silk with a slight southern drawl, "Yeah, go right on back", I winked at her as I walked through the door leading to the Sheriff's office and she chuckled shaking her head and looking back down at her paper work.

I entered the sheriff's office to see may Dad sitting behind his desk typing on his laptop furiously, "Careful pops you might brake the poor machine" I chuckled out. He continued to type whatever he was on and shook his head before harshly bumping one last key and looking up at me. "What can I do for you Stiles" I spread my grin further, trying not to show the slight burn that his words gave me. "I made ravioli and dough ball for the pack, saved some for you, here" I took out the two containers in my bag and put them on the small table by the door so he could pick them up on this way to heating them up. "Just give them a buzz on high for 3 minutes and that should do." I gave him a shaky smile but he was back to typing on the key board, I shook my head and started to leave. I whipped my head around when he called my name, "I'll see you tomorrow Stiles, I Promise I will be in the house when you wake, I have the morning off" He gave a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes then went back to work. I left the station, got in the jeep, released a shaky breath and drove home at 19:55 pm. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Quietness, darkness, loneliness, all the negative 'ness'es. The Skilinski home, my home was shrouded in shadows when I pulled into the drive and released a breath which finally allowed me to drop the fake smile, the mask and the wall. I felt drained. Physically, emotionally.  My mind flashed with images of the pack, huddled together, looking at each other with love, trust and acceptance. Head filling with words that floated around, crashing into the sides of my skull.   
"Freak"..."idiot"..."in the way"... "Shut up, Stiles"... "Pathetic"..."faggot"..."ugly" ... "Little bastard" ... "I promise" ... "Worthless"... "Unwanted" ... "Disgusting" ... "Psycho"   
My brain snapped back into focus and I found myself in my bathroom, shaking hand on the handle of the cabinet under the sink. Letting out a shuddering breath I continued to open the cabinet and thudded down jarringly onto the cool floor. I feel the cold tiles through my jeans and a second later my grey jeans where flung across the room and I re-crossed my legs, now sitting criss-cross on the floor facing into the small cabinet. Pushing the towel on the top shelf slightly to the side, I reached to the back and my fingers closed around a fairly small rectangular, wooden box.

Since the discovery of all things supernatural my special little box has changed. My special box used to be an old large cooking matches box and was now a fancy carved wooden box laced with mountain ash, a clip infused with a special type of wolfsbane keeping it shut. I now flick open the box revealing the treasures within. A couple bandages, a tub of white slightly floral scented cream, a pair of scissors, a packet of tissues, a small cloth, butterfly strips, rubbing alcohol and my blades. Blades of different shapes, sizes and sharpness, fairing in different stages of uses and quite grotesquely, different shades or red flecking their sharp edges. Another shaking breath later, a smaller and sharper one of the blades (which appears quite new, judging by the sliver gleam on the blade and the lack of red or brown crusting the edge) is pinched between my thumb and fore-finger. The little blade hovers over my thigh and my lips turn up in a small smile as I press the cool metal to the already scared flesh there. 

The words continue to crash in my skull, repeating, louder and louder until they are screams, and more join them seemingly coming from the shadows that cling around the room. The blade comes down in my thigh another 17 times, tonight the lines are even and equal in thickness and length, they are deep but not enough to cause me alarm and I watch as the crimson liquid bubbles up and flows out of the cuts with a sick fascination. I don't know how long I sit there but the blood stop flowing and my thigh is stained red. I wet the cloth in the sink and begin the process of cleaning my thigh, relishing on the sting that comes as the cuts pull and stretch or come into contact with icy water. I finish by wrapping my thigh tightly in gauze and pack away my kit, pushing the box back to its original place. I go for a piss and wash my hands before walking back into my bedroom feeling slightly lighter and a little less hollow. Feeling like sleep will adept me quickly for once lay down in my bed and close my eyes. The nightmares take me almost immediately. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

This feeling is familiar. I am stuck. My hands are not responding to me as they close around Allison's throat. I cry and whimper and beg but my body does not respond. I am trapped again. The Nogitsune has taken control of my body again. Allison fights and kicks and wheezes out my name. "Sti....Stiles.... H...how Cou...could y...you do th....this?" , her face changes until it morphs into Cora's,  then Erica's, then Boyd's, then Isaac's, then Peter and so on, when it flick to Derek who's eyes are wide with terror I let out the sobs that were threatening me, the face finally shifts to Lydia's, who's strawberry blond locks start to darken until they are thick hot streams of blood streaming down her face and she lets out a grounds shaking scream.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

I Bolt awake a cry stuck in my throat, shaking, tears streaming down my face, hair plastered to my forehead with sweat. I push my self up only to collapse back due to my trembling legs, I end up curling into a ball back under the cover while I wait until the shaking stop and sobs racking my body. When I finally manage to gather myself and sit up right I look at the clock 03:47 am. I trudge into the bathroom, feeling worse, even more drained than when I went to sleep. I strip and turn on the shower. Time to start Saturday.


	5. Some thing fishy is going on here - (Scott POV)

This was not how I wanted to spend my Saturday afternoon, now going into evening. Like not at all. I should be cuddled up with Isaac on the love seat in the pack house running my fingers through his golden curls or tangled in the sheets of our bed down one of the long corridors that span the house that the pack have all moved into while completing the remainder of the last year of high school. I am snapped out of my thoughts by Derek's Alpha growl, his eyes are glowing a deep red and his fangs are gleaming in the remainder of the falling sun, It's mid October so the sun is beginning to sink below the horizon already and it's only 7pm. Anyway back on track, Derek is baring his fangs at the shimmering figure on the lake on the far side of the preserve. 

The figure is that of a man, from waste up he is shirtless exposing his toned abs, he has strong arms leading down into large hands gripping at a... is that a trident... of course it's a trident does this guy even try to let go of stereotypes. The man has a strong jaw and a face that looks as if it has been sculpted from marble, the only thing that is odd about his torso up appearance is the bright blue hair that is plastered to his forehead with glimmering streams of water... and the gills peeking from the side of his neck. From his waste down, well that's a whole other story. The man's tale (yes tale) is composed of scales in all different shades of shimmering blues and greens making his tale appear an iridescent turquoise. His voice came out ruff, deep but sharp, like it was coming out of his mouth and slipping over a sharp blade. It was like it was entering my ears then echoing around my skull. 

"State your what your purpose is here, on my land, that is such that you did not come and ask the Alpha of the land for permission first" Derek growled through elongating fangs. The Merman smiled "Alpha Hale" he bowed his sculpted head in submission, "I came here to speak with an old friend, she was a Nymph in this very lake, but it appears she has faded with time" the Merman raised his head and looked at us will sad eyes, but there was something else in them, something I didn't like and by the scent of Derek, he didn't either. "I am very sorry, I will leave this lake first ting tomorrow" another sad smile and the Merman slunk back into the water, sinking deep into the lake. Derek turned to us, shoulders tight with tension and led the pack out of the cleaning back to the woods, heading into the direction of the Hale house.  
We were almost back at the Hale house when Boyd open his mouth and announced, "I don't like this, something feels off" I giggled and everyone spun to me, and looked at me with concern as if I may have hit my head too hard. Through gasping giggles I said, "You could say something fishy is going on here". The pack looked at me in a look that was bordering on slight horror, then their faces went slack and the whole pack burst into thick laughter.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The rest of the evening was relaxed and we all hung around lazily in the living room in a delightful, comfortable haze. At around 6pm the hushed whispers in the room of many different conversations were interrupted by Cora's stomach grumbled noisily. Everyone turned to look at her and her face glowed red slightly. She mumbled about being hungry and even with supernatural hearing was muffled. Peter chuckled from his place on the sofa and stood, "How does everyone feel about burgers from the diner". I nodded my head furiously and saw the rest of the pack copy the action and Peter continued to chuckle and began to exit the Hale house with the pack scampering after him. 

We walked in a line to the large garage on the side of the building, Erica went over and pressed three buttons that opened three of the four doors, Derek and Cora walked over to the Camaro and got inside, they were the first to pull out revealing a second car behind, an old resurrected Mustang in a red-coppery colour that was then filled with Peter, Erica and Boyd, they then pulled out following the tracks of the Camaro the metal door of their section of the garage shutting behind them. I swung onto my bike Isaac following me, wrapping his lean, muscular arms around my waist and hooking his thumbs through the belt looks of my jeans. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Jackson opened the passenger side door of the Porsche for Lydia and then walk round to the drivers side while Allison climbed into the back. I revved my bike. Jackson revved back in response and we went shooting out of the garage, the doors shutting behind us as we left the Pack house in the dust.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

We were sitting at the table closest to the counter of the diner, piles of fries were in dishes in the centre of the table, there were tell glasses of milkshakes and plates of burgers. We were all laughing at a joke Isaac had made (I am so lucky to have such an amazing mate) when we were all halted by a scent coming towards the diner. All the supernatural scented the air and all recoiled when the small assaulted our noses. We had all smelled the scent before, crisp apples, cinnamon, campfire smoke, hot cookies and coffee, the smell of family but this normal scent was covered. I mean COVERED with other horrific smells that brought tears to my eyes and wanted to make me curl into a ball and sob until it went away.

The scent was thick, musty like dust and cotton balls, it was drowning in the eye watering smell of anxiety and sadness, regret and sorrow, grief and depression. It was all thick and drowsy with the chemical burning scent of medication and sting of rubbing alcohol and deep undertones of days old... Whiskey? Gin? Vodka? some sort of alcohol anyway. Then there was the smell that coated it all, the smell that made me want to cry and cry, to whimper and whine. That caused me to wheeze a choking breathe. All those terrible smells had been coated in a thick coat of old and new blood. The laughter had stopped and was ringing in the air as the pack watch Stiles Stilinski stand at the counter, we were close enough for the supernaturals to hear what the waitress and Stiles were saying but Lydia and Allison could not as we were just far enough away from the counter that Stiles had not seen us in the booth. Once noticing this the pack all sunk into their seats to observe the scene unravelling in front of us.

Did Stiles look that bad yesterday? The day before? He must of, you can't look like that over night. Stiles mouth moved and Lyds hissed, "What's he saying" Isaac replied in a similar hiss "He said 'Order for the Sheriff please Stacey' then the waitress replies 'Sure Stiles, that'll be $10.99, make that $10 for my favourite Sheriff's son'" They watched as Stiles plunged shaking hands into his pocket and pulled out his wallet handing the girl a note still trembling. The girl gave him a worried smile but just said "I'll go get that for you Hun, you want anything for yourself" stiles let out his signature grin but his scent did not brighten, God. "No thanks". I exchanged a worried look with Lyds and when I looked back Stiles had turned around facing the window,looking out at his jeep. We could now see his whole form. Oh Stiles.

Beside me Isaac whimpered, Lydia, Allison, Erica and even Cora let out small gasps. Even Jackson, Peter and Boyd's faces looked horrified and we all sent a small look at Derek when he let out a choking noise from the back of his throat. Stiles was a mess. His hair was sticking up all over the place, where he had obviously ran his shaking hand through it like he did now making it dishevelled. His clothes were slightly crumpled and miss matched (more than usual) as if he just shoved on whatever came to his hand first. His whole body we slightly trembling but not with his usual ADHD twitches, it was shaking with pure anxiety, his trembling fingers had their nails bitten down to the quicks. His skin was so pale that you could see the veins that ran along the back of his hands, the paleness of his face made his bitten lips look deep red and made the large black circles under his eyes look like pits. And god his eyes they were there usual whiskey brown but they did not have his usual twinkle of mischief. The were dull. They looked like they had been that way for a long time. A long time that his best friend, his brother, hadn't take a notice of his deterioration.

The pack continued to watch as the waitress came back and gave him a brown bag, Stiles thanked her and began to walk out of the door. The pack looked back at each other as their other member, the member they had seamed to have forgotten left the diner. The member that they had forgotten to invite to the diner, to the pack day. Scott was wanting to question if they had even invited Stiles to come and live with them. There attention was directed back towards the door as Stiles passed a table close to the door where Jason Trent and his cronies were seated. The pack could hear girly giggling's and the ruff chuckles of boys, there was a chorus of hisses that reached even the Allison and Lydia's human and human-ish ears. "Freak", "Emo" and "Trash" were harmonised with "Worthless" and "faggot" it sounded like one hiss yet hundred all at once. Stiles pace faltered and his chin ducked down, his eyes focusing to the floor and he sped up his pace. That's when Jason stood up and followed him out of the door. 

We all sat in hushed horror, surely this was a one time thing. We now looked out of the window to were stiles had speed walked up to his jeep, not noticing Jason behind him. The parking lot was lit in a bright glow by the lights and as Stiles stopped to look for his keys in his jean pocket Jason came up behind him. I was frozen (like the rest of the pack) in horrified curiosity, a sick kind of wonder about what Jason was going to do. The distance and glass prevented anything that was said to be heard even by the supernatural beings could not listen in. The whole pack jumped as Stiles was slammed into the side of the jeep by Jason. He was standing in front of Stiles face, screaming at him, he boy was squeezing is eyes shut, head pressed to the side, trying to get way from the boy who had him harshly pinned to his own jeep. Jason continued to shout at the boy while his friends got up form their chairs and went to move outside. 

The waitress, Stacy, had noticed them getting up to leave and smiled at them, then glanced outside to see the predicament Stiles was in, she rushed back into the kitchen. We just sat there still horrified as the first fist landed on stiles cheek, a knee in his stomach that sent him crumpling to the pavement as the kicks continued to come, one particularly strong one pushed the boy back, scrapping the boy along the concrete, a collective wince from the pack who were still frozen in shock. Then Jason looked up surprised and ran away towards a parked car that a collection of his friends had already piled into laughing their asses off as Jason buckled in and they sped off and out of the car park. A man approached Stiles, who was still on the floor of the parking lot, his shaking had stilled, he was just lying there. He looked dead until the man got to him and he sat up, got shakily to his legs then straitened his spine. I was utterly horrified at what happened next, the man obviously concerned took out his phone but stiles shook his head and waved his had in a 'pfffft i'm fine no need' gesture.This had happened before. With one last look the man walked back from where he came from (the back area of the diner, must be the back of the kitchens) and Stiles clambered into the jeep, clutching his ribs and face contorted with pain until he was seated. He just sat there seemingly catching a breath then the whole pack jumped again when he brought is fists down hard on the dash, he then returned to his calm and took a deep breath, then Stiles Stilinski drove out of the parking lot as if he didn't just get the living shit beaten out of him. 

I turned back to the pack who were sharing worried looks and we sat sharing our concern for ten silent minutes before I broke the silence, "What the actual fuck was that?". All I got a reply was a few whines and shakes of the head. Derek cleared his throat "I think tomorrow we need to have a pack meeting concerning Stiles", he sounded sad but under that was thick, unmoving anger. The demand was growled in his Alpha voice and what scared Scott was that he didn't think Derek knew he used his Alpha voice for the command.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am kind of frustrated with the pack in this chapter but I wrote them like this for a reason. They will become some what useful in the future... Maybe. Teehee.


	6. A quick peek - (Stiles POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was just a really quick filler that I put into the Wattpad story, so I apologise for its really short length but considering it was part of the story that I originally written I thought that I would just include it. It is just some Stiles feels after his little altercation at the diner.

Before heading back home to the Stilinski house hold I went to the station and dropped the food from the diner off to my Father. Every breath was agony, probably a cracked rib or two and the right side of my face ached, that punch was going to leave a mark. Once again Trish was on the desk, I plastered on my grin and we had almost the same chat as the day before all while she eyed the developing bruise on my jaw but she ignored it in favour of saying my Dad was back in the office. I thanked her, winked with my left eye as the right side of my face was pretty numb and walked up to my Father's office waving at one of the deputies who was sitting on a far desk. I think it was deputy Jones, there was a stack of files obscuring most of his face but he had that stupid slicked up spike that somewhat hinted he may still be reliving Mohawk teen years.

I open the door to the office. This time he was sitting behind his desk stooped over a paper file and kept on glancing at the bored of cases that were related to the supernatural on the back wall. He shook his head and flicked the file shut. Placing it in a box on the end of his desk with 'Normal' scribbled on the front in sharpie, he then looked up at me and I placed the bag on the desk in front of him. He sent a grin at the bag and began to open it, reached in and took out a fry, he stuck the fry into his mouth, "Thanks Stiles, I was starving" I smiled at him with a slightly watering grin when he doesn't look up at me. It must be one of those days, "Umm... Dad I hate to bring this up now, but umm... yesterday you umm... said that you would have breakfast with me this morning". Now his eyes flicked up to mine, "Oh, shit sorry Stiles, I was called in early, I must have forgotten to write a note." The stabbing pain in my chest was defiantly not from the kicks now. I surprise myself when my voice doesn't crack when I reply, "Nah it's fine Dad, anyway I should get going, you know places to be, people to see" Yeah right. And with that my Dad goes back to his food and I leave. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The rest of the night passes in a hazy blur of inspecting and wrapping wounds, cleaning and inflicting new ones. Twenty crimson lines on my left thigh, three on my left hip and five on my left wrist. A hot shower to wash off the disgust in myself and the lingering feeling of kicks and punches. I research about pixies until the sun peeks over the horizon. I don't even look at the clock. I don't want to know how many hours are left of Sunday before school on Monday. My Dad eats all his meals at the station. I don't speak to another living being until Monday.


	7. Conserning Stiles - (Derek POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - Ummm okay so this may include some what smutty content. This is my fist time writing smut. I am sorry if I offend anyone... I tried.

"So let's get this meeting started" I growled out in my Alpha voice to make sure to get all the pups attention. "I don't know I about the rest of you, but I sure as hell hope you are all as concerned about Stiles as I am" I received a series of nods but still complete silence. I cleared my throat, "right so lets go over what we know". I looked around the pack waiting for someone to speak up. Lydia stood and coughed, "last night while eating at the diner, which we didn't invite our friend to, we watched as said friend got the utter crap kicked out of him" by the end of her sentence her voice was shaking and her eyes had become glassy, she collapsed back onto Jackson snuffling a sob with the back of her hand and dabbing at the edge of her eyes with the edge of a balled up sleeve of her sweater.

Next to stand up was Isaac, his Bambi eyes were pooled with tears and he had an expression on his face that could only be called a kicked puppy look. "We haven't seen Stiles outside of school apart from getting research or him cooking us food in at least six months". Scott spun his head around in conjunction with Allison, Erica and Boyd whom all had equal looks of confusion then horror before finally setting with realisation, eyes wide and mouths agape. My wolf wined as I added, "Stiles smells like sadness, anxiety, depression, medication and blood". The pack sit in silence, and more silence, and more silence. Jackson (yes Jackson Whittemore) made a choking noise in the back of his throat, "that...that's all we know", his eyes flick to the floor trying to prevent the rest of the pack from seeing the tears that have began to spill over his cheek bones, but we have all seen. Lydia tucks her head in Jackson's neck and her shoulders start to shake, her hair absorbing Jackson's tears. Everyone else is either staring at the floor seething with anger at themselves for abandoning Stiles (or at the pack as a whole) for not looking after their pack member, or they have tears cascading down their faces in unending streams. 

"I... I ffff..faillll....edddd... Mmm...my.... Brooo...brotherrrr" Scott whines in huffs between hiccups, and then he just full out breaks into whaling sobs before burying his face in the cushions of the sofa, letting the sobs rack his frame. I let them all cry, too seething with myself to be able to let tears consume me too. Fifteen minutes later I let out a growl and the packs attention is on me, all glassy and puffed eyed. I wait for the last of the sobs to die out and I clear the lump from my throat, "So here is what we are going to do...". 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Things Derek Hale could do...  
\- full shift into a real wolf  
\- half shift into a beta form  
\- rip thing's throats out... With his teeth, or claws  
\- kick bad guys asses (most of the time)  
-cook a mean cheese and mushroom omelette

Thinks Derek Hale could not do...  
\- trust very many people  
\- show his emotions very well (he was improving though so he had some hope)  
\- ask himself why Stiles Stilinski kept on appearing in his dream... In interesting ways

Okay so I better explain. After the little meeting concerning Stiles concluded everyone went there separate ways, all wanting to be alone for a bit or with their significant other. Everyone had gone off to bed (it was 12:00 pm and there was school for, the pups tomorrow. So following in the pups example I decided to go to bed so I could be completely functional for what Erica was calling 'mission, we are shitty friends but we are scared for you and love you and couldn't live with out you please love us Stiles'.

I guess I should now explain the whole dreams thing, let's just say that one Stiles Stilinski has become a frequent visitor in the land of Derek Hale dreams, has been for quite sometime but mainly just as a background presence, a reassuring thing that is just there to keep him content. Recently Stiles had been taking more of a front seat in his dreams. They have been nothing bad. Just dreams of them cuddled on a sofa or long hugs, nothing sexual, non of them even contained anything such as kissing just light touches and cuddles. That was until tonight. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Derek had Stiles pinned up against the door of Derek's room. Derek had come in to find the other boy rooting around in this shirt drawer tongue poking out in concentration, running it over him bottom lip wetting the rose pink flesh. His wolf had whined and panted inside of him, the animal gulping down the intoxicating aroma coming from the boy. And this is where it had led him, hands either side of the boys head cadging him against the wall. The sent around Stiles had sweetened and he shoved his nose in the crook of Stiles neck. "Der?..." His name came out of Stiles mouth, out of those fucking lips, those wet rosy lips, as a mix between a gasp and a moan. "Stiles" he spoke the name like a prayer, like it was a key to a lake in the driest of deserts, his breath fanning across the pale neck causing the boy to feel shivers run down his back like the fingers of ghosts. 

Where whisky brown met hazel-green another load of arousal poured from both men. "I think I am in love with you Der." Stiles whispers, words hanging in the couple of millimetre gap between their lips, with an almost scary certainty Derek replied "I know I love you Stiles Stilinski" and then he brought their lips together. The kiss was soft, gentle and lingering and when Derek pulled away and opened his eyes Stiles was staring up at him, pupils blown with love and lust, a red tinge started on the tips of his ears and creeped down his neck under the collar of his graphic tee. He was beautiful, he had to... Derek's thoughts were halted when Stiles rushed forward and reconnected their lips hungrily and Oh. My. God. The boys mouth was better than Derek had ever imagined, soft, plump, gentle, warm, sweet. Derek thought he might cream his pants from just a soft tender kiss from the younger man. 

Derek ran his tongue over the seam of Stiles lips and was rewarded with a groan. Derek's took his chance, plunging his tongue into the boys mouth and greedily licking every inch, "Perfect", he groaned into the boys mouth. Stiles fingers were threaded into Derek's hair and this arms were around the boys waist. They where stumbling back, still devouring each other as Derek's legs knocked into the bed and Stiles tipped forward, pulling slightly at his hair as he straddled Derek's lap. The friction of stiles' thigh against Derek's straining erection made him whimper, his wolf needed to claim, to breed his mate... Yes this young man, this beautiful man was his mate... His perfect mate. Equally delicious was the feeling of Stiles erection poking him in the stomach, rubbing on his abs and stiles' pushed up and down getting new angles and deepening the kisses further and further until Derek thought they might just melt into each other.

And then his shirt was gone and Stiles was tracing the planes of his abs with his lips, his tongue and his teeth, nipping, licking, kissing, bitting. As stiles was tasting his flesh Derek detangled the boy from his shirt and started to slip off both of there jeans. Once the pesky clothing had been gotten rid of they were both grabbing at each other, starved men finally seeing food, water that could quench an undying thirst. Rubbing, grinding licking. Derek tested his mates exposed hole with this pointer finger, rubbing the puckered hole, and sure enough his mate had produced slick for him, there would be no need to waste time with lube, his mate was ready to take him, no prep required, his wolf growled in pleasure. Stiles was sprawled below him and was begging him, whispering and panting his name, groaning and moaning, begging him to fuck him, so he did. Derek buried himself in Stiles in one smooth motion. The noise Stiles made was almost  pornographic and Derek let out a sting of "Fuck's and 'Stiles's". Derek began to move, a pace set, Stiles meeting thrust for thrust, more groans, moans, begging, kisses. And then Derek felt his ball draw back, he was going to cum, he was going to pour inside his mate and mark him as his own, he was going... To wake up.  
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- When Derek woke up he didn't know what to be more embarrassed about. 1) that he woke up shaking and moaning, Stiles' name on his lips (thank all the gods for sound proof walls, a must have in werewolf homes). 2) that he was still as hard a fucking rock. Or 3) that he was humping into his mattress as if Stiles was actually underneath him. Derek stumbled over to his bathroom and flung open the door, bounding into the shower and turning it on cold. The water pelted his back but only made him think of the feeling of Stiles dragging his blunt nails down Derek's naked back, his dick twitched. Derek grabbed his member in this hand and with 8 firm tugs he came in thick Streams and watched as it flowed down the drain. Oh god, he was screwed.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this one was okay...  
> Thanks for reading and for everyone's nice comments!


	8. Day one: Monday / Phase one: Monitor in school - (Lydia POV)

Breakfast in the pack house was more hectic than usual (which is saying something) on the morning of Monday, the first day of Mission Loving Stiles (Yes Erica I have changed it, no you will not question it! *Lydia's famous death stare*). There was a nervous air around everyone, we were all petrified what we were going to find out about Stiles but even more terrified of not helping our friend whom we seamed to have abandoned. There was the usual getting ready for school yet I knew everyone was shitting themselves. I knew for a fact Jackson was wearing odd socks, not a Jackson thing to do. Erica had on one hooped earring that was bigger than the other. I will tell her before she goes out. Isaac, sweet little Isaac, "Isaac hun, your sweater is on inside out" Isaac dipped his head and Scott lent over to kiss his boyfriends cheek (internal squeal, they were so cute). I myself, I am Lydia Martin, completely put together, well on the outside, on the inside I was internally panicking over my brain buddy.

I was brought from my thoughts when Derek spoke up, he had a slight blush on his cheeks and was standing over by the living room, close to them but far enough away that I was slightly questioning why he didn't want to stand as close to his pack as he normally did. "Does everyone know what they have to do today" his response was nods, "Just remember we observe for two days, only intervene if something terrible is happening, act normal, we are doing this to help Stiles" his voice cracked slightly on Stiles' name and I think I was the only one to notice the red that bloomed at the tips of his ears. Derek cleared his throat and checked his watch, " Right pups, early start, let's get you to school before he gets there, and... observe". 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

7:34 am, and me, Lydia Martin, finds herself crouching behind a bush, peeking over the top in front of Beacon Hills High School surveying the parking lot for the sign of a beaten up jeep. The jeep still hasn't shown up 5 minutes later and I begin to wonder if Stiles is already here or if he has stayed off today when the packs ears perk up and they stare even more intently at the left hand entrance from the parking lot. I follow there stare and after about a minute Stiles shoots around the corner, out of the corner of my eyes I can see the rest of the packs jaws drop, the kid is running like a bat out of hell. I have to refrain myself from gasping out loud when I see him, he looks dead. Pale. Bruised. Broken. Bloody. Bloody, it looks fresh, gushing down his face from a gash in his forehead and his knee. There is a mixture of whines and growls from the pack, they must be able to smell him as he rocketed past us and up the steps. The reason for Stiles frantic sprinting running comes round the corner as Stiles passes through the school doors, in a slight jog appears Jason Trent and his cronies. They stop and put their hands on their knees close to our hiding place, "Little... Bastard's...Fucking...Fast" Blair, one of his friends pants, the rest of the group nod enthusiastically. Seconds later their girlfriends and the Barbies of the school (mainly the cheer team) come around the corner, tackie coloured heals clicking and sharp giggles. "Awwww JT, babe why did you stop the chase" the girl pouts, "Britt, we got bored" pfffft Sureeee you did, Stiles was too fast for you, "Plus what's the point when we can get him later, the bell is away to ring". The group headed up the school steps and the pack turned to Derek who was growling deep in his throat. "I am going off to do my part of the plan, you do yours, it's time to figure this shit out". And with that the Alpha slinked out from behind the bush and disappeared off in the direction of the woods by the lacrosse field.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

My stomach churned when Scott, Jackson, Cora, Erica and I walked into first period Chemistry to see a frowning Stiles shrugging down in the back of the class, head ducked avoiding all eye contact. A positive point, there was no more gushing blood, his hair was slightly damp. He must have washed the blood off his face in the bathroom. We had to act normal, just observe so we took our normal seats in the front two benches in the class, I heard Scott give out a sad sigh when he realised how long it had been since we had sat here with out Stiles, months. Months. Stiles didn't make a sound during the whole class, you would think he wasn't even there, it was so... unStiles-like it was scary. The lack of noise from the boy obviously did not deter Mr Harris as the boy still some how ended up with a detention. 

Second period was a repeat of first, minus the detention. That was until three fourths through the period my (and seemingly the rest of the packs attention) was brought to the back of the class where Stiles sat by a bunch of giggling. The giggling was from Brittany Simmons and her escort of  escorts as they chucked a piece of crumpled paper at Stiles, the ball landed on his desk and he reached with shaking hands to pick it up. Stiles, being the curious boy he was opened the note, the pack watched in curiousness as Stiles' eyes skimmed over the page, again. Again. Again. Stiles then made a fist around the paper and tossed it to the front of the room were it landed into the trash can. "STILINSKI",the teacher bellowed, Stiles flinched, "DON'T EVER TOSS ANYTHING ACROSS THE CLASSROOM AGAIN". Stiles lowered his head and a small "Sorry sir" was mumbled, the teacher's eyes softened, "It was a nice shot though, just stay after class during interval Mr Stilinski, we need to have a talk" Stiles just nodded, eyes focused on the paper in front of him.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Setting up to eavesdrop on a conversation with werewolves and a kanima is quite easy. As there were two humans in presence (Allison and myself) Isaac took the role of stiles and Scott the role of the teacher, Mr Peterson. The two wolves had there ears perked and could listen perfectly to the conversation inside from two corridors down. Scott opened his mouth and the conversation began.  
"Listen Stiles, what's going on with you?" Isn't that what we all want to know Mr Peterson.  
"Nothing sir"  
"Somehow I don't believe you Stiles"   
"Look sir, with all due respect, it really is nothing, I just haven't been sleeping well lately"  
"Look Stiles I am going to be blunt with you, we both know that is bullshit"  
"Sir re..."  
"Stiles the school were notified of your health records since you first attended high school, we had to be given them as a guide and explanation"   
"Stiles heart beat is picking up" Erica added.  
"Sir I" sigh "I am just going through a dip, the meds will pick up again and I will be right as rain, I just need time"   
"Okay Stiles just know, I have had family and loved ones who have suffered the same, if you ever need a teacher, a friend to come and talk to, okay?"  
"Yes sir" There was a pause then Scott spoke up again,  
"Stiles just... Just stay safe"  
"Will do sir"   
"Stiles heart skipped a beat" Erica added.   
"I have one question" Jackson stated, "When Mr Peterson refers to the condition Stiles suffers from, he doesn't mean ADHD does he?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Lydia's notes for Monday - phase one:

-beat up buy Jason and other pricks   
-cleaned up and in Chem   
-completely quite in Chem, like he wasn't there   
-Harris is an ass, Stiles has detention for NOTHING!   
-girls throwing note  
-Stiles upset at note   
-Stiles gets in trouble over throwing note, teacher asks to stay behind after class  
-Stiles has a condition, illness, takes meds, will perk up when they 'kick in'  
-Stiles quite 3rd & 4th. Not.. One. Noise  
-Stiles not @ lunch, Isaacs and Scott found him in corner of library listening to music, left him, seams like didn't eat  
\- Stiles quite 5th & 6th   
\- giggles, whispers and shoves are thrown at him in every corridor, after every class  
-Stiles reeks of depression (according to Jax)   
-we watch as Stiles trudges to detention after school and the boys ask coach why Stiles doesn't have to reschedule detention in school hours to be able to go to training   
-Stiles quite lacrosse team 5 months ago for personal reasons  
-practise finishes and we wait for Derek to pick us up   
-see Stiles come out of school looking exhausted  
-stiles starts to run in direction of home, Jeep is not in parking lot

Phase one complete ~ Lydia❤️

I had a lot to report at the meeting tonight, and hope Derek has information to make sense of some of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am now re-reading all this from Wattpad as I am editing it onto here. I am having moments like now when I am so mad at myself because I think I could have done so much better with this story. But my hope is that I will just put this up here and hopefully my future fics will be better and I will be able to come back to this and see my progress. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


	9. Day One: Monday / phase two: The room search - (Derek POV)

When talking to the pack this morning all I could hope was that they didn't smell anything from my little *cough* incident upon waking up this morning, that could have been... awkward to say the least. I spent the whole of breakfast talking to them from the living area, keeping an eye on them in the kitchen as they talked about today's task. In the cars on the way to dropping the pups off to school Lydia and I had come up with a plan for everyone to note their findings and bring them back to the house at the end of the day to go over once Stiles had left from the 'Pack meeting' before the actual pack meeting concerning our findings on the boys behaviour. So this leads me to where I am now, running through the woods fully shifted, letting the wind flow through my black coat and feeling the loose soil under my paws. The sounds and smells of the woods send me into a relaxed and peaceful state, calming my anxiousness at what I might find in Stiles' room when I search though it. One of Lydia's fears that Stiles might of got himself caught up in illegal drugs, Derek was praying she was wrong.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

On arriving at the Stilinski house hold all relaxation gained by my run through the woods was gone and replace by an unmoving nervousness gnawing at my chest like a hungry animal. I reminded myself that being seen climbing up to the sheriff's son's window while naked was probably not a good view on the Sheriff or his son if I was spotted. So instead I made my way up the side of the house using different out cropping as perches and finally made my way up to Stiles' bedroom window, shifting back to human as I hit the fluffy carpet. I looked over at the clock and realised how much time of the day had passed already, between dropping the pups off, watching the interaction in front of the school and going on that run through the woods (taking detours every here and there to check on the area of land) I had arrived in Stiles room at two in the afternoon. In all fairness I did patrol the most part of the woods in that time, for some reason supernatural creatures liked to hide out in the woods. It was later than I would have liked, I now only had three hours until Stiles would be home from lacrosse practise. So I began my hunt.

Okay so where to start? The desk seamed to be a good place. It was the only surface in the room that was slightly messy, for an 18 year-old boy Stiles was extremely tidy. Even saying this desk was still organised, laptop centred, nine file holders behind the laptop that seamed to hold the same coloured folders. The was blue, green, yellow, red, purple, black, white, orange and brown. The file holders each had a heading scrawled across it in thick marker as follows, Water Related, Nature Related, Betas, Alphas, Omegas, Hunters, Pack Dynamics, Demons/Ghouls/Spirits, Others. I picked up one of the folders in the 'Hunters' box and flipped over the cover, and continued flicking and flicking and flicking. In just one folder Stiles had compiled at least 100 sheets of paper, neatly organised and colour coded with diagrams and study notes in margins of information on Hunters. Not just the Argents but hundreds upon hundreds of hunter families. I continued to look at these boxes of files for at least another hour, Stiles had researched hundreds and thousands of pieces of information on things from demons to faeries to vampires all for easy information to be available to help the pack, all they had to do was ask the genius boy and he could find the right folder and give it to them. The boy was incredible!

Realising that I needed to get a move I continued over the boys Desk, stacks of paper, a sketch book? Stiles could draw? I flipped the cover over on the book and Stiles could draw! like holy crap! The picture in front of me was of a wolf, its head tipped back howling. The next was of the kanima and looked as if it had been done with a fine line pen... it was just wow. The images continued, Lydia, Scott, the rest of the pack and oh. my. GOD... is that, it's me... it is incredible. I started to feel that I was invading Stiles personal space (even though I was looking through his room but still there was a line and I felt that I was close to crossing it. 

I moved on to the rest of the room looking at his posters (All Time Low seamed to be a running theme), his book cases (there was freeking three massive once) filled to the brim with fantasy, YA, Mythology, contemporary, sci-fi and hundreds more. There where speakers on the bedside table and his drum kit was in the far corner, a guitar hung up on the wall, Stiles must be musically talented, I guess I had't really cared to actual look at what made up Stiles life all the times I had been in here. Against the voice in my head not wanting me to pry to far, I opened the drawer in the bedside cabinet. I had to jiggle the handle a bit as it stuck half way. I reached my hand into dislodge whatever was stuck and removed the item causing difficulties, lube. Well then. The thought of Stiles using the lube, reaching behind himself and pushing a slick finger into... Derek Stop! Stop! not the time. I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts and placed the lube on the top of the table. I shifted from side to side and almost let out a groan, well done Derek you managed to think yourself into a boner :|

Shaking the rest of the drawer out I gazed into it, a collection of pill bottles rolled forward and each made a rattling noise as they hit the front of the drawer. I picked up each bottle and took a picture of the names so Lydia could check if they were legal or not, a part of me wanted them desperately not to be but if Stiles was having to take all of these, all eight of them, Stiles might have bigger problems than any of us expected. My thoughts were skidded to a halt as I heard the Jeep's engine pull into the Drive way and I shoved all items back into the drawer, including the lube (Oh strawberry) and shifted back into a wolf jumping out of the window and running into the woods towards the Pack house. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Derek's notes for Monday - phase two:

\- Files of info with folders for different supernatural related things (thousands of pieces)  
-room immaculate  
-bed doesn't smell like Stiles sleeps in it often  
-colour coded  
-Stiles is an amazing artist  
-Stiles had drums   
-Guitar too  
-Hundreds of books  
-organised  
-In bedside drawer eight pill bottles (need researched by Lydia)  
-Whole room smells of blood, depression and self hate also large amounts of anxiety

Phase two complete ~ Derek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed,  
> Shadow xx


	10. In the quiet of the night - (Stiles POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SELF-HARM AND/OR PANIC ATTACKS. Stay Safe!

Life had become interesting for me over the past years to say the least. Werewolves, kanimas, banshees and all that other supernatural crap had taken over. Weekly battles with the monsters that now manifested them selves outside of my head not just on the inside. Monsters that really did go bump in the night, bumps through the woods and in abandoned buildings, bumps in open expanses of fields and in the narrow corridors of the school building. And of course the bumps that that took over the quiet in my head. Some of these inner bumps were constant, a gentle thud, a reminder in the dark that I would never be left truly alone, not from the thoughts and screams inside. 

It was night like tonight where my brain would force me to reflect on the things that have happened through out the day, it would make me focus on every little detail, every letter of every harsh word, every single little point of contact from a push or a shove. It was always when the night was its quietest that these thought would fill the silence. Noise. Constant noise. I can't remember a moment in my life when there was not constant noise somewhere. Whether it was the bustling of the people who where bullying me or harsh words from my unknowing friends, the loud voices thumping against my skull, the drunken slurs of my father, it was always unending. I just wanted silence. Was that too much to ask. I had given the world and everyone in it all the attention and love and kindness I had, I had given all the goodness I had to the world and it was tossed in my face, sending me sprawls down into this pit of depression. 

It was nights like tonight (these many, many night) when I come home from school in a state of exhaustion so prolonged I don't even feel it anymore. My whole body is just numb. I feel nothing. I come home and find an empty house, the darkness spilling from the windows penetrating the light that should rid the other. Though, I wonder as I am swallowed by the houses darkness, whether this is just the way for me. The darkness always devouring the light. Like the Nogitsune's darkness covering what little brightness that was surrounding my soul and my heart. Like the darkness of the Argent's basement ripping away my dignity all those years ago. Like the darkness of the Oni trying to snuff out Allison's shinning heart. Like the darkness of the liquor that my dad turned to in order to cope with a child like me. The darkness. The unending darkness that follows me where ever I go. That tries to devour the ones I love as well, it will not succeed. 

I find myself in my room sitting at my desk. I pull out a folder on demons.  
It will not succeed.  
I open a new internet browser and dive head first into research.  
It will not succeed.  
There are hundreds of different types and breeds of demons.  
It will not succeed.   
Normal metals will not harm such nefarious creatures.   
It will not succeed.  
Metals such as those used by holy blessed creatures such as Angels must be used.  
It will not succeed.  
67 pages and 6 hours later I file the folder away and slam the lid of my laptop shut.   
It will not succeed.  
My hands are shaking, sweat has pooled in the small of my back, my breath is coming in pants and my heart is racing. Darkness. I am standing in the centre of my room facing the window as I manage to catch my escaping breaths. I let out a long, slow breath. I turn my hands into fists and when I release them they finally stop shaking. The largest of the bumps and shouts in my head abruptly stop. Apart form the quite and smaller constant bumps a calm quite spreads over me. I grit my teeth and then hear my own croaky voice in my ears, "It will not succeed". It will not succeed to devour the ones I love, but it might devour me. I walk to the bathroom.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Pealing off my clothes feels like unveiling a piece of art. A horrific piece of art but a piece of art all the same. Unlike the sketches in my sketchbook these sketches are rough and hard, unorganised, no final goal, just something to take away the numbness and awaken my bones. They are not something I am proud of, they are hideous and scrawled across my body. Red, pink and white reminders of my depressive state, my broken mind, my weakness. Reminders of my pain and heartache. No one knew, no one would ever know. They are my secrets, my way of inflicting my own controlled pain. A way I can control. No werewolf or other supernatural creature could make these marks upon me. I have no powers, no supernatural abilities but I have the power over my own pain. 

At some point my hand had turned on the shower and the steam was drifting up the mirror, clouding over my scars. I do not enter the shower. I allow the warm steam to embrace me, welcome me and clear my airways. I go into the cupboard under the sink and pull out my special box. I then find myself naked, sitting on the floor, limbs spread out before me. Scanning them, picking out my canvas for my next gruesome painting. My left wrist and upper arm are chosen, I am too exhausted to move my body any farther that would be required for my other body parts. I bring the blade down on my upper arm first and drag. Crimson buds bloom in its path. Small bead-like flowers the fall like tears down my arm and splash on the floor.

One. Pathetic.   
Two. Useless.   
Three. Unwanted.   
Four. Unloved.   
Five. Broken.   
Six. Forgotten.  
Seven.   
Eight.   
Nine. I was the reason my mother died.   
Ten. I needed to move down to my wrist the blood was making my pale canvas soaked in red.   
Eleven. I was the reason Scott was turned.   
Twelve. I am a freak.   
Thirteen.   
Fourteen. Faggot, disgusting, not normal.   
Fifteen I have no control over my oven brain. 

I wipe the blade off with tissue and place it back into the box carefully. The tissue flushes down the toilet in a blob of pink and white goup, swirling down into the depth of the clear water. I stand up. The room is in a pleasant haze, I am slightly dizzy but I am not too worried, I have been dizzier. I stumble into the shower and the hot water enveloped me. I teeter on my feet for a moment as the hot water makes contact with the cuts for the first time. A hiss passing my chapped lips. It stings, but I am feeling, I can feel more than I have felt in a while. The numbness has left my bones for a moment and I feel as light as a feather. I watch fascinated as the blood poured off my legs in streams of pink water and swirls. And swirls. And swirls down the drain. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Bandaging my wounds and covering the area around them in a fruity cream that would hopeful disguise the smell is a familiar task. There was more blood this time, even if the wolves didn't hang out with me I did not want them to notice. They might worry. Maybe. I don't want to put stress on them. I pull my self into sweats and a long sleeved t-shirt and fling myself into my bed. I huff and turn myself over, reaching my hand into my bed side table. I have to reach in further than normal to grab the bottles and it takes four goes to get all the bottles spread on the bed in front of me. I select the two I take at night, one to fight the depression and anxiety, the second to stop the throbbing pain from the beating at school and in the car park. Also one for sleep, just for luck. I needed it and all I can do is hope for good dreams. I push the pills under my tongue and fill my mouth with water. While I swallow the water and flick the pills back with my tongue I send my hopes of good dreams out to who ever is listening. I push my head back into my pillow and close my eyes. I let the pills do their work. It is almost quite. As quiet as my mind is ever going to get and I drift off into a terror filled sleep as the numbness starts to return to my body and my bones.


	11. Day One: Monday / Debriefing - (Isaac POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I mucked up a little bit and this chapter occurs before and during the last chapter (Stiles is mentioned briefly, which is before the going ons of the last chapter). I hope you understand.

Us pups arrived back at the Pack house before Derek and were met with a pacing Peter Hale. When I saw Peter I found myself surprised that I was no longer surprised with his concern for the members of the pack. Peter had developed a lot from his whole, 'I will kill everything and everyone who has wronged me and my family or has done so by association' phase. His head whipped up to face us as we walked through the front door, Lydia lead the group fiddling with her note pad with the phase one information on Stiles. We all piled into the Living room and took our usual positions for a pack meeting. Now all we had to do was sit, watch TV and wait for Derek and Stiles to arrive, in whatever order that occurs. 

That was answered when a black wolf with blazing red eyes burst through the door of the Pack house and sped up to the Alpha's room. A couple of minutes later Derek Hale emerged in the wolf's place dressed in his usual dark Henley and black jeans sans the characteristic leather jacket. Derek, also with a note pad yet for phase two sat on his armchair and tucked the note book behind the large cushion that was situated behind his back. Lydia followed his example tucking hers under the lush blanket that was draped on the love seat. The pack turned back to the TV that was showing some movie they didn't particularly care about in this moment of time and waited, and waited, and waited. It was another hour before the grinding of the Jeep was heard in the distance, time to act 'normal', time to ignore Stiles while we figured out what we could do to help him, because now we where going to change the 'normal'. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Stiles opened the door, arms laden with bags, five on each arm. I could smell his mood, the now constant self hate, depression, anxiety, blood and chemicals. It was as if his cinnamon, baked cookies and homely smell was fading, being taken over by what ever the hell that crap was. He looked up at the pack and smiled, it was strained, untrue, his eyes did not Brighten, his scent did not change, he did not feel that joy. It was as if all these joyful emotions were being blocked by that scent. I forced my head back to the TV, much like the rest of the pack, but still kept an eye on Stiles who stayed in the corner of my vision. I would not let that boy who treated me as if I was his child, whom looked at me as if I was a person who needed to be loved and treated slip out of my vision, not while I could still help him. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Much like Friday night we watched. Watched as Stiles got into an organised frenzy, cleaning and tiding and cooking and setting the table simultaneously. Stiles dropped the bags on the counter, the scent of blood sharpening for a moment before dulling back down to a ghostly reminding presence haunting the Pack house. Stiles then swings his back pack off and reaches into it fishing out a yellow folder placing it on the counter next to his bag he spins around and begins to cook chicken breasts and rice. He the shifts and begins to set the table, going back and forth between this and chopping mushrooms and onions. Once the table is finished Stiles comes around the counter and moves towards us in the living room area, he goes around picking up dirty glasses and other dishes. His actions are almost identical to Friday's but this time he does not stop in the door he just keeps going setting the dished into the sink and running the tap over them. Walking back toward the living room area he brings the folder to the pack and places it in front of Derek. A voice croaks "Info on beta's", the voice is so vulnerable and fragile that it takes me until Stiles is back behind the kitchen counter making a sauce with the mushrooms and onions to realise it came from him. From the once loud, sarcastic boy. Then it dawned on me, Stiles was broken. But broken things CAN be fixed. They CAN! 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

We continued on the act of watching but not watching as the boy finished up our meal with toasted baguettes and began to serve up at the dining table. Then there was the pop of Tupperware, the scrape of spoons on plastic, a plop of metal in water then all sound seamed to cease. I move my head up to Stiles (the only one doing so), I couldn't help it. He looked back at me a small smile on his face, the others where talking about the beta shift form debating a small detail, me and Cora where on 'Stiles duty' appointed by Derek as there was information Stiles has found that could be of extreme benefit. I was glad I had super-hearing when Stiles rasped "Hey pup, tell the pack to go eat before it goes cold and to enjoy". Another weak grin and Stiles Stilinski was out the door and speeding away in his jeep.

I could still hear the Jeep slightly as Scott finished up the argument with Derek by shouting, "Well Derek, your eyebrows have to go somewhere, don't they!". Derek just rolled his eyes and stood up turning to me, "You smell like you want attention, what is it pup?" I stood for a second before saying, " Stiles is gone" slight shock and sadness on their faces, they didn't realise. I added before I looked too much at their guilty faces, "Stiles said to go eat before it gets too cold". The frowns deepen and Scott whimpers, aww my poor mate, I go over and hug him, pulling him into my chest. I tip my head and whisper into his ear, "It's okay babe, remember we are fixing it". There is a slight sniffle against my shirt, he is holding back tears. "Wh...what iffff we ar....arrre t...t...too late!", oh god, "It will all be fine in the end" I hope "Now let's go eat babe".

Dinner was silent. Completely and utterly silent. Stiles had cooked us chicken breast in a mushroom sauce with wild rice and hot buttery baguettes and I swear to god I heard Derek moan as he chewed a forkful of the rice covered in the thick sauce. With no talk at the table dinner went past quickly and I finally put my fork down on my empty plate before I looked up to everyone else. "Jackson and Lydia you are on dishes" two nods from the couple. "Erica, Boyd and Allison go grab everyone blankets" another three nods, "Cora and Peter make everyone a cup of tea" another two nods, "Everyone else into the living room and wait for the meeting, go to the bathroom now if you need, this might take a while". And with that Derek left the room walking in the direction of the Library at the end of the corridor. Everyone else got up to fulfil the Alpha's demands. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Everyone sat around the coffee table on bean bags, wrapped in blankets, we all looked like children (yes even Derek). The situation with Stiles had reduced us all to vulnerability, we where scared, I was terrified. Derek cleared his throat, "Lydia, Phase one report, deal with one point at a time please" Lydia nodded and let out a shaking breath. "Okay so my first bullet point, Stiles was running away from being beaten by Jason and those other pricks". Everyone nodded but it was Cora who spoke up, "Okay so that and how he was beaten in the parking lot at the diner, which also my I add Stiles looked like he was used to, we can draw a conclusion for that, it's simple, Stiles is bullied". Erica spoke up next, "Why the hell would people bully him!", Cora shook her head. "I have heard people call him 'useless', a 'freak' and a 'faggot', it's fucking disgusting that people would even think to call him that word, everyone accepts everyone else no matter what sexuality in school, why the fuck is Stiles a different case!". Derek's eyes had gone slightly wide, "Stiles is Gay?", I spun my head around to him like the rest of the pack. It was Scott who answered him, "Stiles has been openly gay for as long as I remember. Dude how the hell did you not know? He dated Danny for like two years when they where like fourteen/fifteen". Derek looked like a fish out of water and I snickered under my breath, "Yeah Derek now you can just tell him about your little or should I say gigantic crush, he absolutely adores you". The tips of Derek's ears turned a rosy pink that was steadily spreading to his cheeks and he made a choking noise before announcing, "Lydia what is your next point". Oh Derek.

Lydia was smirking at Derek before she turned back to the sheet in front of her, "Hmmm, right okay, so the next few point are all in Chemistry so I will group them together". A collection of nods and Peter moved his hands in a rolling 'continue' motion. "Okay so, by the time we all went into chemistry Stiles was all cleaned up and through out the period he was completely silent, it was like he wasn't even in the room. And then. And then freeking Harris goes and gives him detention! He didn't even bloody breath loudly!" Lydia was furious, that was quite evident, I felt sorry for Harris if she ever chose to act on her anger. I was the first to respond this time, "Okay so not only is Stiles bullied by pupils but also Harris. That man is a psycho". Everyone looked over at Peter who was just nodding on happily, "Oh yeah completely, as a former psycho myself I can effectively conclude you are correct". He said it with such a serious face I am not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. There was a slightly awkward silence before Erica tipped her head towards Lydia, "I do want to get some sleep tonight, come on Red". 

Lydia pursed her lips, "Right okay, so in the next period, Stiles is once again really quiet. One of the girls who is associated with Jason Trent threw a note at Stiles who read the note, got upset and threw it across the room to the trash can. the teacher therefore gave him into trouble, not the stupid Bitch and then proceeded to ask Stiles to stay after class. This mean that two teachers have given him into trouble in two periods when he has not even opened his mouth!". Derek's frown was in full force and he huffed out, "Once again pointing towards bullying, continue Lydia". "The next point is one of the most important notes. When listening into the conversation with Stiles and the teacher we discovered somethings. The first being that Stiles has a condition or an illness, of what we can tell I do not think the teacher was referring to Stiles' ADHD. For this he takes medication which when it 'kicks in' will make him 'perk up'". Everyone sat up and was more alert at this, this conversation was what all of us pups had been curious about all day. Derek said sombrely, "I may have something to add to that point Lyds but continue until we get to my points". 

"Okay so ummm... lets see. Don't interrupt me, I will list the remaining points and will discuss the most troubling". Everyone nodded at the commanding tone in the girls voice, sheesh that girl could be scary sometimes. "Okay so, Stiles was completely quite the rest of the day, he then did not show at lunch, we believe he hasn't for sometime, no one is quite sure" Derek frowned at each of us, "Scott and Isaac went to look for him and found him in the library listening to music and left him to come and report to us that he was not getting beaten somewhere. It seams as if he didn't eat." Scott grabs my hand and I squeeze his fingers with mine as his breath catches in his throat. Lydia continues her voice becoming more mournful, "Giggles and whispers from all the students seamed to follow him wherever he goes the biggest ones being 'Freak' or 'Worthless' or 'pathetic'". Her voice thickened as she said the words used to describe our friend. "umm Jax said he reeked of depression for the whole day and umm he went off toward detention at the end of the day, we went to coach when the boys had lacrosse practise and asked why Stiles didn't go to detention during school so he could come to practise and..." Lydia let out a little sob, "Coach said that Stiles quit lacrosse five months ago for personal reasons" and 'we didn't notice' where the unspoken words that lingered in the air. Tears where pooling in Lydia's eyes as she read the last two bullet points, "Stiles came out of school looking exhausted when we where waiting for you to pick us up, he didn't appear to see us and he just picked up into a jog to go home, we couldn't see his jeep in the parking lot".

One Lydia had finished she slumped back into Jackson and let out a small sob. Then there was silence for a long, long time. Eventually I couldn't stand it anyone, "Okay so main points from that, we completely forgot our friend, didn't even notice he wasn't eating or coming to lacrosse for at least five months. He is getting bullied at every turn he takes, getting beaten and tormented. Oh and he has some sort of illness or condition that is needed to be treated with medication. Did I miss anything?!". The words seamed to leave me in one tiring rush, expelling and emptying my lungs. I took in gulp of air and collapsed back into Scott, my sudden anger leaving me with the strength that I had to hold myself up. Everyone just nodded in agreement. "Derek please say that something that you got gives us a little context into this.". My voice was whinny and pleading even in my own ears. Derek coughed and squeezed his eyes shut for a microsecond. he opened his eyes again and opened his note book. "I only have eleven points but I can put most of them together, I will start with the... easy stuff." That confused me. 

"Okay so Stiles' room is immaculate, like really, really clean and super organized", beside me Scott interjects, "With Stiles' ADHD and Anxiety he always told me that if his room was cleaner his head was clearer". This seams to stop Derek in his tracks but it was Boyd who spoke up, "Stiles has Anxiety?" Scott nods, "Yeah he was diagnosed after a really, really ruff time after his mom's death". Realisation and horror filled Scott's features, "Oh God, oh God Stiles", "What is it Scott" I pushed. "I... I am sorry but I can only tell you if I defiantly know for Stiles' sake". Right now we understood, we had to figure this out before anything else was heaped on to what appeared to a this stinking pile of shit of a situation. Once again Derek cleared his throat, "Okay so Stiles has these folders that are colour coded for different areas of the supernatural and supernatural related things such as hunters and they contain like hundreds maybe thousands of bits of information on everything and I mean like everything, half this stuff I didn't even know exists!". To say I was a little surprised would be an understatement, Stiles does so much for us and we treat him as if he is a lesser being. I felt sick. 

"Okay umm... these are not that important but they are just things I noticed like, Stiles has a drum kit and a guitar, can he play Scott?". Scott's head whipped up, "Oh ummm... well yeah?, I think he still can anyway. The drums where always a good outlet for his ADHD and he used to play guitar and sing all the time but I haven't seen or heard him do either in years!". I was amazed, "Was he any good", Scott nodded enthusiastically and looked like he was reliving fond old memories, "Oh hell yeah, he was great, like really good singer, he has went through puberty since I last heard him but he was brilliant. His mom also taught him piano when he was really young up until he died. He only ever plays on his mom's birthday or the anniversary of her death but on those days he would play for hours". It was good actually hearing a positive about Stiles life, hearing fond memories associated with the boy who at the moment seamed so depressed. 

"Right okay that's cool" Derek's ears had gone pink again, really Derek, got a thing for musicians do you? "Stiles can also draw, and I mean like he can really draw, there was this sketch book with drawing of everyone in the pack, wolves, the kanima (he looks over to Jackson with a smirk) and even other supernatural creatures, they were amazing!". Scott had his head tilted to the side and looked like an adorable confused puppy, he obviously wasn't aware Stiles could draw. Derek's brow furrowed and he seamed to stretch his back, so did the rest of the pack and I, now came the serious news. "His whole room smelt of anxiety, depression, self hate and blood. Lots of blood". If we did have tails they would be hanging between our legs. "Lydia" The girl in question looked up at her Alpha. "Get a pen you need to not down these names and search for what they are" Lydia nodded and went to get a pen. 

When Lydia came back into the room everyone sat at attention and sat at the edges of our seats so to say for what Derek was about to say. He cleared his throat, "Alprazolam, Temazepam, Citalopram, Sumatriptan, tramadol and Selective Serotonin reuptake inhibitors" Lydia nodded and jotted down the list with her tounge peaking through her lips. "What the hell are all those?" I questioned. Derek's eyes looked sad, "Those along with Adderal and Asprin where the eight bottles of pills I found in Stiles bed side table". The silences before where nothing compared to this, Scott let out a sob and Erica began shaking, the pen slipped out of Lydia's had and the thud when it hit the floor was defining. Cora looked at Derek, quiet tears streaming down her cheeks. "There is something, really, really wrong. isn't there". Derek just nodded. Everyone was crying and I could see Derek making a plan in his head of what he was going to do, we where sorting this situation. We where sorting this soon. Eventually we had all gathered in a massive puppy pile on the floor and we all cried our selves to sleep. We would fix this. We would fix it because right now there was something missing from the puppy pile, a gentle, loving, smart human by the name of Stiles Stilinski, the glue that held us all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :)


	12. Encounters in the woods - (Derek POV)

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes as I got up, I had awoken on the living room floor at the sound of the phone, the rest of the pack where in different states of annoyance due to being rudely woken up. We had all fallen asleep on the floor in the puppy pile. I stood up shaking my leg hard enough that Isaac groaned and slipped off of where he was hugging it. I smiled down at him slightly. Isaac had really opened up to me and the others a lot over the years, he looked at me as if I was the father he had always wished he had, this both pulled on my heart and made me determined not to fail him anything like his biological father did. I stretched my back out and heard my spine pop back into place. I strode over to the culprit phone... umm I mean my phone. I picked it up and pressed answer without even looking to see who was calling. My own voice sounded gruff in my ears, "Hello?". I waited for a minute and was about to hang up when I heard a throat clear on the other end. "Umm is this Mr... John Stilinski?", the voice was feminine and young, and also just so happened to sound like the receptionist at the high school. I looked up at the clock. What kind of school receptionist phones at 6:30 am. 6:30 AM! I sent a glare to Lydia then flicked my head to the clock. She got the message and started to get the rest of the pack up to have showers and food and get ready before school, where they had to be in about an hour.

"Umm no this is Derek Hale, may I ask why you are calling?", I replied to the woman, "Oh... this is Lindy Sampson, the receptionist at Beacon Hills High School. It is down here that you are the emergency contact for one Stiles Stilinski." At this there was a clatter from the kitchen and the rushing of feet against the floor, two seconds later Boyd and Erica flung around the corner and where in front of Derek. "Yeah, his father is at work a lot and I am around a phone more often, what is the issue?", I could here the woman take a deep breath and I looked around to see the rest of the pack looking at me questionably. "Well... umm... I know... I know that in the letter Mr Stilinski brought in explaining his absence has a... umm perfectly good reason... but umm... as it is not a current event the school will have to put it down as an unexplained absence. Would you please make Mr Stilinski aware of this, please". The pups tilled their head in further confusion, and then Scott's face crumpled in sadness and realisation and he whispered  'tell her that none of us will be in school today and that you will make Stiles aware'. Due to my supernatural hearing I heard him clearly and relayed the message to the woman making up some excuse about food poisoning that they had all gotten last night after eating food from the Indian in town that had recently been connected to a whole variety of food poisoning cases. She replied with an "Of course Mr Hale, tell them to get better soon and have a nice day". Then there was a long beeping signalling that she had hung up.

I turned to Scott. "Explain", I could feel my eyebrows raise up towards my hair line. Scott looked up his eyes teary. "October 23rd" He said the word as if they held all the pain in the world. Lydia huffed, "Yes Scott state the date, because that makes so much sense to us!". After living with Lydia for months now the pack was now aware she was not a morning person, she was even more blunt and got even more exasperated before her morning shower and smoothie. "Stiles doesn't come to school today, ever. Hasn't done for exactly 10 years". Now I was getting frustrated, "Scott what the hell are you talking about!". A tear actually fell down his cheek, "His mom, she died on the 23rd of October exactly 10 years ago". And once again for what felt like the millionth time this past week the pack fell in to complete silence, brought on by the knowledge of what was happening and what we had done to our friend. Cora spoke up, "So we go, we pay our respects to Mrs Stilinski, we go and find Stiles and we end this crap we have put him through. Today!". I agreed with her, it was time for this to end. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Lydia decided that quarter to seven in the morning was maybe not the best time to begin the long day ahead of us for both our sakes and Stiles'. So she decided to google the medication and read them off to us as I cooked breakfast and the other pups (and Peter, I don't particularly like referring to my uncle as a pup... that would just be a bit weird) sat around in the kitchen waiting for the information and food. I put some oil in a pan to heat up and Lydia coughed to get everyone's attention. "Okay so Derek already mentioned Adderall for his ADHD and Aspirin which we all know is a pain medication and it says here can be used for migraines which would also explain the Sumatriptan which is a prescription drug for migraines" I nodded along with the information while peeling apart strips of bacon and placing them in the pan to sizzle. I had began to take glasses out and put them onto the counter as Lydia started tapping away on her phone again. 

I had poured a drink for Isaac and Scott and was walking over to the two with them when Lydia spoke again, "Okay, Tramadol. Tramadol is a drug under the category of strong opioids, it is basically a high pain killer and can also only be given by prescription." Four more glasses had been poured and handed to Allison, Cora, Boyd and Erica. After the announcement that the drug was also on prescription the pack was becoming more relaxed, our friend was likely not falling into illegal drugs. I had walked back to the kitchen and was pouring the glasses for Jackson and Lydia when said girl gave a little gasp and read out the next medication. "Temazepam is a sleeping pill. It is manufactured to allow the patient to fall asleep and stay asleep for a select amount of time. Dosage to be given by GP in response to severity of patients insomnia, not to be prescribed to patients under the age of 18 with exception for severe cases. Also a prescription only drug." I placed the cups in front of Jackson and Lydia and went back to take the cooked bacon out of the pan and put in more. I did all this with a frown on my face that seamed to deepen with every breath. 

The cooked bacon was given to an anxious looking Scott, an Isaac whom was emitting quite whines from the back of his throat and Cora who accepted the plate before adding, "Well considering his night terrors from the Nogitsune. I mean who would be able to sleep peacefully after that". There was a scent of guilt and shock thrumming through the air. No one had even considered how the Nogitsune taking over Stiles' dreams might have affected the boys sleep even long after the boy had been freed of its presence. My frown deepened (again) as I poured drinks for Peter and I before looking over to Scott who normally would be chewing his bacon with vigour was nibbling the meat and making a face as if it tasted like ash in his mouth. "I suppose not", Peter added as I slid the glass along the counter into his awaiting palm. I put the glass to my lips and the juice tastes more bitter than it usually does. I go to take out the next batch of bacon and hand it out to Erica, Boyd and Allison. 

"Alprazolam is an anti-anxiety drug, which does make sense after what Scott told us", everyone just nodded, yes we where a little shocked but as we already knew Stiles was diagnosed with anxiety, we understood. The next batch of bacon was done and I placed the plated in front of Jackson, Lydia and Peter whilst picking up discarded plates as I walked past to take over to the sink and then putting on an egg to fry for myself. Lydia's nails stopped tapping on the screen of her phone and she let out an exhale, "Oh Stiles". Her frown deepened, I don't think I had ever seen this look on the girl's face. Jackson peered over her shoulder and his face paled slightly. "I...I...How?". The look on his face was of utter bewilderment. "Citalopram and Selective Serotonin Reuptale Inhibitors are also over the counter drugs." Lydia chocked out. Her voice was thick with emotion. "What Lydia, what are they for?". I was worried about what sort of drug that Stiles was taking would cause Lydia to got his pale. 

"Citalopram is an anti-depressant". The words hung in the air, making it clogged with a variety of different emotions, the silence speaking all the words that remained unsaid. How? How was the boy that we all knew, the once happy, hyperactive young boy depressed. They didn't just give out anti-depressants, Stiles was depressed. Lydia looked up with tears in her usually bright eyes. "Selective Serotonin Reuptale Inhibitors helps people with co-existing psychological problems", she opened her mouth again and I was terrified of what else might even come out of her red covered lips, what the hell else could possibly be said, the boy had suffered enough, he had been through so much. Surely there was nothing else the world could add on top of that. "SSRI's is also well known for combating Anorexia Nervosa". All hell broke loose. "No. NO. I have seen Stiles eat triple his body weight in curly fries. There is no way. It will just be for the other stuff". Scott choked out the words like he was trying to convince himself that they where true. Other words of disbelief where assaulting my sensitive ears that where ringing with my rushing blood. It was too loud. I roared. Everyone's attention was directed straight to me. "Stop. Stop denying it. Think. When was the last time that any of you ever witnessed Stiles eat anything. When was the last time that he even stayed behind after he cooks for us". Heads tipped down in acceptance. It was fine I said to myself. We where going to fix this before it was too late. I hope. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

At 9 am the text came through. The beeping stopping the small meeting about what we where doing for the day. I went over and looked down at my screen, the name 'little red' lit up the screen with a photo of Stiles, his face tipped back in laughter, eyes shut and dimples showing. I wanted that back. "It's from Stiles" that got the packs attention. I pressed the open button.   
From                                                        
"Can't come cook tonight, get pizza or something"    
I relayed the massage to the pack who just nodded. I typed back a quick response,   
To   
"That fine, where will you be today, I want to come talk to you"  
I waited for what felt like a century but was more like five minutes until I got a reply,  
From   
"Places Sourwolf, just places"   
I told the pack of Stiles' response and they all looked at me with worry, it was decided we were going to go find Stiles now.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

We decided to walk through the woods to make sure we didn't miss any ground where Stiles may be and I suppose we made the right decision, or so I thought until we found him. I smelt him first, his sent now entwined with the sent of depression and all that other crap surrounding him as if he was being followed by a cloud of it. All of that with the addition of whiskey. I knew the moment that the pups noticed the smell. They all scrunched up their noses in distaste but then must of smelt the scent of Stiles underneath because all of there eyes widened and Lydia and Allison huffed "What? what is it?", Allison demanded. "Stiles" I said and sprinted off in the direction of the scent. 

I came up to a clearing. The pack had probably followed me but being Alpha I had superior speed. There he was. Sitting on a tree stump in the middle of the clearing. His back was too me and all I could see was his wild hair flying in tufts out of the hood of his red hoodie. My little Red. And of course the bottle of half finished whisky on the ground in front of him, Oh Stiles. "Stiles?" I whispered softly. I heard the crunching of leaves behind my as the pack came to a stop. I started to walk towards the boy, the others following behind me. Stiles reached forward and almost tipped right over but somehow managed to right himself before he toppled and picked up the whiskey, he took a swig and hugged the bottle chest. A sob broke the boys lips followed by a trembling breath. He had not heard me. I was away to call for him again when he shot up, wobbled a bit and then took another massive gulp of whisky before launching the bottle across the clearing. The whole pack jumped as the bottle smashed against a far away tree and watched and Stiles collapsed back onto the tree stump and put his head in his hands. Stiles let out a puffed laugh and to be honest it scared me. It terrified me.

We walked around so Stiles could see us and more importantly we could see him. It felt like the first time in forever that I had properly looked at the boy, I gasped along with the rest of the pack. Stiles looked terrible. He was dressed in black Jeans that hung from his frame. On his feet were his scuffed converse. He was wearing a dark grey shirt beneath a paid shirt and his red hoodie and even with those layers you could see how skinny the boy was. His face was the worst part. He had sunken cheeks and dark pits under his eyes like he had not slept in years. His hair looked like he had been repeatedly running his hands through it and his whiskey eyes where dull, one of them was ringed with a dark purple bruise that looked to be a day old. They where red and puffy from crying, evidence of the tears were at the bottom of his eyes where unshed tears pooled. The boys whole body shook with anxiety. It was awful to witness. 

"Oh Stiles..." Erica spoke behind me. Carefully I sat down in front of the boy and the pack followed me, we formed a semi-circle around our friend. Stiles laughter shakily which was followed by a hiccup. "Stiles?" I questioned, he just laughed and by the sound and smell of it he was quite drunk. "I'm..path....pathetic" he hiccupped, "I am... *hiccup* hallu... Hallucinating... *hiccup* the p...pack" he giggle and almost fell off the stump side ways. His heart beat then sped up and his breathing hitched. His head snapped down and he brought his fingers up so they where spread in front of him and started counting them. This was something I had caught him doing for quite sometime, a nervous tick? "I am in control" he whispered to himself, "You are gone". Oh god. The Nogitsune. He still thought the Nogitsune... Oh Stiles.

I grabbed his shaking hands and held them between my bigger ones. "Stiles" I whispered. His tearful eyes met mine. "She's gone Der." The sadness in his voice was heart breaking. "It all my fault Der". I shook my head. "I killed her Derek, it's my fault she's dead". He stood up and wobbled on his feet. "Everything, Scott wouldn't be a werewolf and no matter how much he says he likes it now. He never wanted it in the first place!", behind me Scott whined. "No Stil-" He cut me off, "Lydia wouldn't of been attacked and become a banshee! She wouldn't have to hear the dead! And Aiden wouldn't be dead! And all those people I killed when I was possessed would be alive! And Scott would have had more friends when we where younger if we hadn't hung out with the weird kid.", the last point was a whisper and I tried to interrupt, "Stil-" he just kept going, his voice returning to a shout. "And my Brain wouldn't be screaming at me and shouting and oh god Derek it won't stop making me think that's stupid things!". OH GOD. "My dad wouldn't have had to put up with a pathetic, stupid, hyper *sob* active bastard like me!". "sti-", I tried to interrupt him again. "NO YOU DON'T INTERRUPT ME!. You don't get to interrupt me. Your not even REAL so you SHUT UP imagination Derek. Shut your stupidly perfect mouth with those stupid cute bunny teeth *hiccup*". WHAT? "If it wasn't for my useless piece of ass my dad wouldn't *sob* wouldn't be drinking himself into an early *sob* grave". "Stiles Hun", this time it was Lydia who spoke up, stepping towards Stiles and raising her arm to try and comfort him. She reeled back in surprise as he flinched away hard. 

Stiles had tears streaming down his face, "I wouldn't be hallucinating the pack here." His voice turned from the shout to a rough whisper, "I wouldn't be alone" and then in the same whisper, "I've always been so alone". I felt like the pack could hear my heart shatter. Stiles little shouting match with the world seamed to have sobered him up a bit and he turned to walk away. "And you, you stupid brain, stop messing with me" another sob escaped the boy and he whispered, "I... I don't like hallucinations". Life had already broken my mate even before the Nogitsune but now he was scared of the knowledge that reality might just be a dream. His mind creating a twisted hallucination. The pack stood there in stunned silence as the boy stumbled through the woods in the direction of where the Stilinski house hold was located. 

"Come, we are following, only to observe what the boy does when he gets home, we need to give him a little bit to recover from whatever the hell that was. But we are not letting the boy out of our sight. And he is going to know how much we care for him before the end of the afternoon.". The pack nodded in acceptance and agreement. They followed me as I walked in the direction that my mate disappeared off to, following the lingering trail of the smell of depression and anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next three chapters (13, 14 and 15) follow the same event/events but are seen in different perspectives. My hope is to get them up tonight after I have done some school work. I hope you enjoyed this one!


	13. Their discovery - (Stiles POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles' version of events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a couple warnings for this chapter. Mentions of self-harms and also some abuse/alcohol abuse. Remember to stay safe and I hope you enjoy!

Today was always a bad day. It didn't matter if the meds where working -or more often than not- not working. I had played my mom's old piano like I usually do on this day for half an hour, it was only 10 am when my Dad came out form his room and began shouting at me. The worst part was that he hadn't even been drinking yet.

*flashback*

He looked like he had just woken up, or at least like he had been awake in bed for hours crying and had only now just got out of it. Probably because of the music and to get his first drink of the day. The first drink of many. So, so many. I was half was through 'Piano Sonata No 11' when he came into the room. He fixed me with red puffy eyes and I was about to open my mouth to speak when he shouted, "STOP IT! Stop it, stop it, STOP!". My fingers hovered over the keys but I stopped. "But Da-". he interrupted me with a harsh tone, "Don't even think about finishing that sentence". My mouth snapped shut. His eyes flicked down to where my fingers where still hovering over the keys and then he lunged forward snapping down the piano lid. I pulled back my fingers just in time that they were harshly bashed not broken and let out a loud yelp. 

He looked at me with apologies in his eyes but he didn't speak them, instead he said something that shattered my resolve even more. "Stiles you need to get out of the house for today". My mouth hung open but I clamped it shut, it fell open again and I stuttered out, "W...wh...what but D-". He interrupted again. "Please, Stiles, I...I can't look at you. Not today". Oh what was that. Right it was my heart shattering into millions of little pieces. "O..o...okay" I was trying my best not to sob. My own father didn't want me in the house. Not even today when we where meant to remember her together. I mean there were those time where he - but no that was different, he didn't mean it, it was the whiskey and to be honest I had been an annoying little shit all those times, I had deserved it. 

"Let me just... get some things then I will go". He just walked into the kitchen, "Yeah, whatever just get out for the day". He picked up one of the many bottles of Jack Daniels, not even bothering to get a glass and strode back to his room only stopping in the door way to mutter a, "just leave and be quick" before continuing his journey to his room. I sat there for a minute stunned, I was being kicked out, only for a day but I was being kicked out. I took a shuddering breath and walked to my room. What would I even need, I didn't know. So I just slung my red hoodie on and a pair of shoes and walked back through to the kitchen. One of the cabinets of liquor was still open showing an array of bottles. What the hell, if I was going to spend this day alone and miserable without mom's piano I might as well be alone and miserable while drunk, maybe I can feel closer to dad that way. I snorted at my thoughts and picked up on of the bottles of jack by the neck. 

I was away to leave when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. Pathetic. Worthless. Fat. Stupid. Idiot. Freak. I unscrewed the cap on the Jack and took a deep swig. The liquid poured down my throats and filled my constantly cold body with warmth. I brought the bottle back down after another swig and screwed the cap back on. I went to the back door and walked out into the back yard. The woods lay beyond the wooden fence. They where large and spacious and quite. The perfect place to get lost for a few hours as I decided what to do with myself. Maybe find the lake on the persevere and swim to the bottom, see if I ever come back up or if it leads to a whole new place. First though I would find myself a nice tree stump to sit on and think stuff over. Then I would decide. Then, not just yet. Then. 

*End of flashback*

So here I am currently walking back from my delusion in the woods, just hoping that my dad won't be too pissed that I am coming home today, or that he has blacked out from drinking too much. The buzz of the alcohol has worn off and I am just tired. Tiredness flowing through every muscle, every bone, every ligament, every organ, hell even every pour. I feel like I am dragging sand bags through a blizzard and I have no final destination to take them too. Meaning I'm lost. I've been lost for months now. The sand bags dragging me down. Getting heavier and heavier, the snow swirling faster and faster. I just want it to stop, just collapse into my soft welcoming blankets of my bed and fall into a sleep with no nightmares and stay there. Forever. 

I reach my back yard and walk at a slow pace up to my back door. Is it mine, can a home be your home if you are not welcomed there. I stop to contemplate this with my hand touching the cold metal knob of the door. The wind has picked up slightly and the cold ripples through my body in shuddering waves. I tremble, what if he is still awake? What if he is drunk? What if he... I am prepared, I put up with shit from everyone, what is one more person. One more person that you think loves you, one more person whom you love like you could never love anything else, one more loved one to leave me, abandon me, forget me. I take a deep but shaky breath and twist the knob. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

He sits at the kitchen counter with his back to me and I wonder if I would be able to sneak past him with out him even having to know I came back today. He would never come to check my room, he hasn't been into it in month? Years? To be honest I don't remember the last time that we talked to each other. Where we gave each other our undivided attention and just talked, in fact the only times I had ever seen him in the past 6 or 7 months (maybe it was getting closer to a year now? I can't remember.) was when I had been dropping food off to him at work to make sure he was eating right. I started to make my way to the stairs in hopes that I would be able to get up the stairs before he noticed. I wasn't lucky. But than again am I ever.  
"I thought I told you not to come home today". Crap! "I ummm.... I just wanted to sleep in my own bed". His fists clenched. "I... I promise that I won't make any noise... it... it will be like I am not even the-" He cut me off. "GODDAMN IT BOY!". I flinched when his fists connected with the counter with a clashing thud. I flinched again as the 3/4th empty bottle of vodka fell off the counter and burst into hundreds of small pieces. I flinched again at the sound of the chair scrapping against the floor as he stood up and began to walk over to me, he walked straight up to me, advancing on me as I tried to scurry away. "WHY CANT YOU DO ANYTHING I FUCKING SAY!" I could feel tears pool in the bottom of my eyes as I tried not to cower away from my father. "I...I..I'm..sss-", I began to stutter out but he interrupted me again. "YOUR SORRY! NO YOUR PATHETIC!" he screamed the words into my face and I flinched back, my back hitting against the wall.

I felt a single tear slip down my face and inwardly cursed myself, this time my father spoke in a hissing voice, almost a whisper, "your crying now, what right do you have to cry, uh, uhhh". He grabbed my face in his hand and roughly flicked my face to meet his eyes. When he began shouting again and I began to sob as the words were spat into my face. "YOU KNOW THE TRUTH STILESSSS", he said my name with so much hatred and disgust I flinched hard. "YOU KILLED HER, YOU KILLED THE WOMAN I LOVED! WE WHERE HAPPY BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG AND THEN YOU KILLED HER, AND NOW I AM LEFT WITH THIS PATHETIC, WEAK, HYPER ACTIVE LITTLE BASTARD! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM STILESSS. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU ARE KILLING ME!".  
I was full out sobbing like a little baby, "No. No. I didn't". I was shaking, trembling with the sobs that racked my body. He let go of my face only for a second later his fist to come back down and connect with my jaw sending me sprawling to the floor in a sobbing mess. My vision had momentarily gone black around the edges, that was some upper cut. "Yes, yes you did" and with one last slap that sent me to the floor as he hissed, "go to your room, and don't even fucking dare to come out until I tell you or you have good reason". He marched up to the one of the cabinets and pulled out another bottle then spun around stumbling towards his bedroom on his way spitting on me where I lay on the floor. I waited until I heard his door slam shut before getting up on shaky legs and slinking up the stairs as quietly as I could. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The rest was a blur of colour, no sound, no emotions. Just colours and shapes twirling around me. My head was spinning, I couldn't tell if it was my vision or whether my vision was being obscured by tears but either way everything looked like it had been given a whizz in the blender. I reached my room and flung open the door. The air was thick and I was finding it hard to breath, I needed to get air into the room. I stumbled over to the window and unlocked it, pushing it open and taking in massive gulps of the cold crisp winter air. 

I panted in the air for a moment longer before managing to effectively stave off a panic attack. I was still shaking slightly but I felt nothing, I was numb. Numb. Numb. Need to feel. Need to feel. Need to feel. I began my journey to the bathroom. Open the cabinet. Take out my box. Walk back into my room. Sit on the floor with my back pressed against the side of the bed. Deep breath. Let it out. Numb. Deep breath. Let it out. Numb. Deep breath. Open the box. 

I tipped forward slightly and yanked off my plaid shirt, the long sleeved shirt following. If I had been paying attention. If I had been able to be aware of anything but my self and my box I would have heard the gasps. I picked up a blade and pressed it to my scarred inner arm. If I had been aware I would have heard the crying. I slid the blade down my wrist and a shaky smile appeared on my face. I could feel. If I was aware I would have heard the whimper. Another cut. I could feel. And then someone grabbed my wrist nocking the blade out of my hand. I whimpered. "Stiles, look at me". My whimper turned into a sob and I looked up into the slightly blurry face of Derek Hale. "I am real Stiles". His warm hands came up to cup my cheeks. "Come on let's get you cleaned up while Lydia packs your bags, we are going home Stiles". I slipped forward and sobbed into Derek's strong chest. And I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. 

I kept my eyes directed down at the floor the whole time, while he wiped my arm and bandaged it. While he handed me a new shirt. While we went down stairs. While he knocked on my fathers bedroom door. While my dad shouted at the disruption. While Derek growled at my dad to tell him I was leaving. While my dad thanked him for taking me away. While he called me worthless and pathetic and disowned me. While Derek pushed my... the sheriff to the door and told him he was an atrocity to human kind. While Derek led me to the awaiting Porsche that Jackson had ran and got. While Lydia put all my belongings, absolutely everything, into Peter's car behind it. As Lydia clambered in next to me and gave me a worried look. As we pulled away from my childhood home. As Derek came and led me into the pack house. As Derek led me to his bedroom. As he sat me down on the side of the bed. As he slipped off my shoes. As he tucked me into the sheets. As he kissed me on the forehead. As he walked out the room, turning off the light on his way out. As I fell into black oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I said that I would put chapters 14 and 15 up tonight as well but I have just went to edit chapter 14 to realise that it is around 4,000 word and I am really tired right now and considering I have enough trouble as it is sleeping I have decided to make the best decision of my health and post those chapters tomorrow. Have a nice night!


	14. My discovery - (Derek's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek's version of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again Warnings for self-harm and abuse/alcohol abuse. Stay safe!

We followed Stiles back to his house. The boy had stopped drunkenly stumbling and seamed to be in a more sober state. Now he just looked exhausted. It was scary, in resent days, well since I started to actually start to notice him again, that is all he has looked like. A breathing corpse on moving legs. Half the time it doesn't even seam like he breathes. I feel guilt and self hatred boil up from the pit of my stomach as I remind myself how bad myself and the pack have let it get before even noticing the boy was upset, never even mind depressed. How could I have not noticed this with my Stiles, my Stiles. There was only so much denying myself and my wolf before just asserting that it was no mere crush I had on the Stilinski boy but that the pale, skinny human was in fact my mate. This also may have been helped along by the many, many, many dreams where I was ploughing into him calling him my mate, my subconscious accepting it before my self. And of course waking up from those dreams and needing a nice cool shower to deal with my ummm... problems while imagining the pale mole dotted body. SNAP OUT OF IT DEREK PETER HALE! 

My focus returned to me as Scott yanked on my arm and pulled me down so I was crouching beside him and the rest of the pack behind the fence of the Stilinski back yard. Peaking through the gaps in the fence I could make out the figure of Stiles standing at the back door. His hand was out stretched and his heart been was erratic, his breathing shallow. Scott turned to the others, "We wait until he is inside his room then enter through his window. They are grieving today, I think it is best to leave Mr Stilinski to his sorrow and not intrude". Scott spoke surely, he wanted to respect the man whom he thought of as a second father, the man he cared for so much and respected by leaving him in peace to morn his wife. 

Stiles just stands there deep in thought, a whole array of emotions pouring off of him, it is hard to pin point the different once but he seams... anxious, a different anxiousness to what he normally has. Boyd whispers beside me and the rest of the wolves (and kanima) turn to him, "Is it just me or is Stiles scared to go into his own home?". The question catches me off guard, he does smell scared but what of?, it just doesn't make sense, none of this makes sense. How has stiles managed to wear all this pain under multiple layers throughout the years. From what we could work out he has been on various different medications for various different mental illness through out the past ten, yes ten years of his short life. It just doesn't make sense that he has managed put on such a complex mask that he had evaded detection of those closest to him. Well Stiles, it's time to take off that mask, I think to myself. At the door Stiles takes a deep breath and twists the knob and walks into his house. We get up form our hiding place and scurry over to the corner of the garden below his window, giving us a perfect view (and hearing range) to see Stiles gazing at his fathers who sits facing away from him at the kitchen counter. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Stiles once again just stands there waiting. Thinking. Beside me Scott shifts nervously, he to is unnerved by the smells wafting from the house, the sadness, depression, Stiles' fear and the strong smells of alcohol permitting not from Stiles anymore but from his father. Just as the tension becomes unbearable and Isaac beings to move to get up the Sheriff speaks, "I thought I told you not to come home today". I shoot a questioning look at Scott, the rest of the pack follow my lead. Scott looks pale. "I... I don't understand?", the question in this voice creates a crease between my brows. Why, why would the Sheriff kick Stiles out, today of all days, they have always had such a close relationship. Stiles face looks like he has been slapped and he takes a step back towards the walls, recoiling as if on instinct. "I ummm.... I just wanted to sleep in my own bed". Stiles reply is stuttered and to my surprise it is Jackson who whimpers. From our hiding place I watch in horror as the sheriff balls his fists that are resting on the counter. 

"I... I promise that I won't make any noise... it... it will be like I am not even the-", the scent of fear from Stiles has spiked, why is he so afraid of his father. I look at Scott who's face is tight with confusion and worry. The shouting from the house draws back my attention and causes a gasp to come from Lydia. "GODDAMN IT BOY!". Another gasp came from Lydia and also one from Cora, Isaac flinches and whimpers tucking his head into the side of Scott who looks like he is going to puke when the Sheriff's fist contacted hard with the counter with a deep thud. Stiles flinched to hard I thought he might have gotten whiplash. Stiles flinched hard again as the bottle of alcohol fell of the counter and smashed into pieces. If it was even possible Stiles' sent of fear spiked, the smell made me want to gag. The sheriff didn't say anything, he didn't go to deal with the broken glass. He began to stand up, scraping his chair against the floor of the kitchen. The noise assaulted my ears and made me and the other wolves wince. He stumbled towards Stiles, his smell was strong and acidic with hatred as he advanced on his son. I looked over to Scott who now looked like he was choking down bile.

The words that came out of the Sheriff's mouth shocked me, it was the tone of them, I had always thought that Stiles and his father where so close. But as the older man advanced (drunkenly) on his only son his shouts where filled with hatred and spite. "WHY CANT YOU DO ANYTHING I FUCKING SAY!". I watched in absolute horror as Stiles cowered away from his father terror in his now glassy eyes. Those beautiful honey coloured eyes filling with tears of fear and sadness. His voice came out in a broken stutter. My beautiful Stiles cowering away from his only family left. He doesn't deserve any of this. I just wanted to pull him into my arms and cover him from all the bad things in the world that seamed to follow him around everywhere he goes. "I...I..I'm..sss-", Stiles doesn't even get to finish his stuttering apology before his father shout into his face, his head smacking against the wall as he tries to back up further only for his escape to be prevented by the wall he had been backed into. "YOU'RE SORRY! NO YOU'RE PATHETIC!". Beside me Scott was shaking his head, "I don't... I don't understand." The boy had tears pooling in his eyes, I could understand, he was watching the man he respected, the man he loved like a father spouting abuse at the boy he loved as a brother.

Tears where falling down Stiles' cheek now, his face was screwed up, he was trying to stop himself from sobbing, the scene was heart-breaking but also filled me with so much range I began to shift slightly and unfurl myself from my crouching position. "We wait until he goes to his room remember, we will talk to him about this when we take him back to the house, he knows John is just drunk, he knows his dad doesn't mean it. He loves Stiles". Just as Scott says this John's voice comes from the house again, not a shout but a harsh sneer. "your crying now, what right do you have to cry, uh, uhhh". Stiles' teary face was grasped in his father's hand which forced his gaze up to mean the Older man's. The action was not kind, it was rough, but familiar. A sinking in my gut told me this is not the first time that Stiles had found himself in this situation in his life. This thought was like a punch to my gut and seemingly everyone else thought this too as almost simultaneously their faces paled. Stiles stopped forcing back his sobs and began to just let them out. The noise pounded against my eardrums, I swear it was the worst sound I had ever heard. 

The next words where raised back into a shout, the spit flew out of the Sheriffs mouth and Stiles (if it was possible) cowered back further.  "YOU KNOW THE TRUTH STILESSSS". The way he dragged out Stiles name caused a growl to build in my throat, Cora must have felt my emotions as she reached forward and captured my hand in hers and squeezed tight. Her hand squeezed mine harder when the Sheriff began to shout again. "YOU KILLED HER, YOU KILLED THE WOMAN I LOVED! WE WHERE HAPPY BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG AND THEN YOU KILLED HER, AND NOW I AM LEFT WITHT HIS PATHETIC, WEAK, HYPER ACTIVE LITTLE BASTARD! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM STILESSS. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU ARE KILLING ME!". Scott had broken into shuddering yet quiet sobs. Lydia had mascara spilling down her cheeks a hand pressed over her mouth suppressing sobs of her own. 

Stiles answer sounded like a plea. He was shaking, trembling all over. He sounded like a child, like he was eight again and his mom had just died. "No. No. I didn't". When the sheriff let go of Stiles' face I could hear the pack and myself let out a breath of relief, it was over, we would be able to talk and hug Stiles, as soon as he walked back up those stairs so we could creep into his window, not disturbing the obviously distraught Sheriff. To be honest I was kind of disgusted with the man, that even drunk he would say those things to Stiles who was so obviously already so mentally insecure, it made me want to be sick. The breath of relief was quickly sucked back in a the hand that had just released Stiles' face came back down onto the boys jaw and Stiles fell to the floor sobbing his heart out. Isaac lost it, he flinched so hard he fell backwards into Scott who had turned from deadly pale to a deep red of fury.

The Sheriff stood over his broken son and whispered out his next words in a hiss so filled with hate it made even me want to curl up in a ball and sob for the boy. "Yes, yes you did". The sheriff give another sharp blow to the face that sent him back to the floor and in the same harsh whisper, "Go to your room, and don't even fucking dare to come out until I tell you or you have good reason". I could feel the rest of the pack, their emotions, sadness, disgust, anger and so, so, so many more. The sheriff pulled out another bottle of alcohol from the cupboard, like he needed anymore. It made me sick. He stumbled back to his room, spat on Stiles like he  was some sort of trash and continued past his sobbing son. Stiles lay there until the Sheriff had made it to his room slamming the door on his way in and then pulled himself up. His whole body shook and he waited until he got his balance before walking up the stairs to his room. We follow the same path but up on the outside of the house and then climbed up onto the roof opposite with the perfect view of Stiles as he stumbled into his bedroom.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The boy still had tears in his eyes but they where no longer falling, just pooling in the corner of his eyes. He just about literally burst into the room, the door flying open then getting knock back again and clicking into place by a shaking out kicked foot. He didn't even seam to notice us as his eyes made contact with the window we where looking through, even though we would have been in perfect view. He then rushed forward as if his life depended on it and unlocked the locked window. The window used to never be locked but then I suppose if no friendly wolves where crawling through it, why should it stay open for bad ones to crawl in?. Stiles pushed the window open and he started hungrily downing mouthfuls of air. The boy was shaking, his breath coming in small pants and his heart beat was racing. He was having a panic attack. I knew Stiles had them but never thought I would witness one of them.   
Stiles had sweat beading along his forehead and was shaking and trembling like a leaf. It was scary he looked so broken and scared and just, I don't even know, completely destroyed. He was panting hard, the air seemingly struggling to get into his lungs. "Is that... is he having a panic attack?" Boyd whispers. I was away to nod my head when Scott replied, "No, but if he doesn't calm in a few seconds it will be. they... they are worse than... this". I was astounded, how, how could they be worst than this. How could Stiles cope with that. He kept on gulping down the cold evening air. His heart beat finally slowed down a bit and he was shaking still but for the most part it had slowed. Through the tears his eyes had become blank, lack of all emotion. he looked so broken, my beautiful mate was broken and I needed to fix him. I went to move and so did Stiles. I sat myself down and wondered what he was doing. He walked in the direction of the bathroom and I motioned for the rest of the pack to follow as I began to walk across the roof towards his window. 

I made it to the edge of the roof and was away to jump through the window as Stiles walked back into the room carrying a box in his hands. I signalled the pack to stop by clenching my fist and raising it. I had a bad feeling about this. Stiles lowed himself down and sat on the floor pushing his back against the side of the bed placing the box in front of him and took a deep breath. He took three more deep breaths and opened the box, the objects inside where hidden from us by the opened box lid facing us. He then leaned forward and pulled off his signature plaid shirt revealing a long sleeved grey top.   

And then the top came off too. My heart stopped and we all gasped how. How?! His pale skin with almost white and dotted with the moles confirming one thought that I have had for a while, those cute little moles on his face are else where on his body. He was thinner than I thought he was and it was getting to a point that I thought if he kept on starving himself you would be able to see his ribs soon. But that wasn't even the worst thing. Stiles has always been beautiful to me, even when I was denying I liked or even loved him. Even now his long and skinny torso sent pleasure running through me. What did slightly horrify me was the short and long, wide and thin, light and dark, red and pink and silver lines.

The whole pack had stilled. I was glaring at the marks that cover my mate as if they had personally offended me. They where everywhere, his hips, his stomach, his arms and his wrists. Stiles forward and stared at the objects in the box, he reached forward and picked something out of the box. The silver glinted in the moonlight as he pressed the silver blade to his inner arm. The only ones who had not been crying (Jackson, Boyd and Peter) promptly burst into tears. I was too distraught to cry. I needed to stop this, I could not jut let him do that. 

My stomach twisted when he slid the blade across his wrist and the smell of blood assaulted my nose. The pack, even Allison and Lydia who could not smell it let out a whimper. My eyes where still on Stiles' face as a weak smile appeared on his face and I began to move towards the window. As my feet touched the ground below his window he made another cut. The rest of the pack had snapped back into reality and where making their way towards the window as I reached out and grabbed Stiles' wrist. The blade fell to the flood and Stiles whimpered at the loss of the blade. 

My voice was choked and filled with too many emotion when I spoke, "Stiles, look at me". Stiles let out an echoing sob and looked up at me, his eyes shinning with tears. I remembered the woods and how Stiles thought we where a hallucination because we never would have noticed him, "I am real Stiles", I whispered gently but loud enough for his human ears to hear. I cupped his beautiful face in my hands and ran my thumbs over the tears streaks on his high cheek bones. My voice was still a gentle whisper when I spoke again, "Come on let's get you cleaned up while Lydia packs your bag, we are going home Stiles". The tension falls from Stiles' body at the word 'home' and he slips forward into my chest and begins to sob. I think my heart was shattering into a million pieces as he kept on sobbing and sobbing. I wrapped my arms around his frail waist as his body shakes in mine.

Still with Stiles' wrapped in my arms I turn to Peter, Jackson and Scott, "Go get cars and the bike." Turning to Erica, Allison and Cora, "Pack up his room, everything and go get his mugs from the kitchen and DVD, the ones he loves and make sure to pick up a couple of photos of his Mum", they nodded and walked off. "Lydia clothes", another nod, "Issac, Boyd, help the girls". They turned and walked over to the Allison who was at Stiles' bookcase packing book into one of the suitcases found in the bottom of his wardrobe. I picked up Stiles and began to walk to the bathroom. I sat Stiles down carefully on the closed toilet lid. Stiles kept his eyes on the tiled floor as I found the first aid kit in the cabinet under the sink and began to clean and wrap his wrists. I didn't talk because I had a feeling that was not what Stiles wanted right now. I walked back into his room after I finished wrapping his wrist and Lydia wordlessly handed me a shirt. I walked back into the bathroom to find Stiles exactly where I left him and gave him the shirt. His gaze did not lift to mine as he pulled it on.

The realisation hit me that I couldn't just take Stiles away from this place and that we would have to tell his father. His drunk abusive asshole of a father. I took Stiles with me and made a motion to Isaac for him to come with me as we walked through Stiles' room towards the stairs. I had laced my fingers with Stiles as we walked and I held him close to my side yet he still didn't look up to my face. Stiles kept his gaze on the carpeted floor even as I knocked my hand against the Sheriff's bedroom door. Maybe a bit too roughly. Stiles remained stoic beside me even when his father's aggravated voice came from behind the door. He voice was clear to me and Isaac, his shouts muffled by the door but loud and clear to werewolf ears, "I swear to god Stiles, I will beat your ass!". The voice became louder as the Sheriff moved towards the door. The door swung open and the Sheriff's shouts stopped when he saw my face, "What do you want Hale?!". My anger flared and I growled deep in my throat. "Stiles is leaving, he is coming to live with us away from an abusive prick like you!". 

The response was not what I was expecting, "Thank you, I was wondering when I would be able to get ride of that piece of shit". I looked down at Stiles but his eyes where still trained on the floor his expression blank. He was so different from his normal (or normal not that long ago) exaggerated expressions. The sheriff turned on Stiles, "and you, you worthless, pathetic, piece of shit. Don't even consider your self my son, a worthless fag like you will never be and never was my son!". Stiles doesn't react but Isaac flinches twice as hard almost in compensation. I lost it. I released Stiles hand from my grip and lunged forward pushing the Sheriff to the door, hard. My fangs had extended and my voice came out in an Alpha roar. "You will not. Speak. Or even fucking look at Stiles ever. Ever again. Hell you will not even think of him or I will come and I will rip your throat out with my teeth. You are an atrocity to human kind. Not even a thought do you understand?". The Sheriff nodded at me quickly and I dropped him to the floor, leaving his drunken ass behind as I walked back to Stiles and rethreaded our fingers.

I led Stiles outside to Jackson's Porsche that was waiting along with Peter's car and Scott who was sitting in the front seat of Stiles' jeep. Lydia was packing the last of Stiles' belongings into Peter's car. The red head began to walk over to the other back door as I sat Stiles down into the seat. He settled in and Lydia grabbed his hand giving him a worried look as I walked around  to the passenger door of the Porsche. I got in and Jackson drove away. I looked back and saw Stiles gazing out of the window at his childhood home disappearing behind us. 

When we arrived at the pack house, the whole ride had been silent. Stiles had just sat with a blank expression on his face gazing out of the window and into the growing night. When the car came to a stop no one got out until I walked around to Stiles' door and opened it up. I grabbed his hand, Lydia let go of the other and started to get out of the car. I lead Stiles into the house and passed the pack who had arrived before us and where standing waiting in the living room. I nodded towards the pack as I passed and began walking towards my bedroom. Jackson and Lydia stopped off next to the rest of the pack and began to talk in hushed whispers with the rest of the pack. I continued down to the hall and opened the door to my bedroom. I pushed open the door with my free hand and led Stiles in closing the door again behind me.

In another situation I would have been performing backflips that I had Stiles sitting on my bed but the vacant expression on his face that was trained on my dark carpet stopped that train of thought before I could get too exited. I knelt down in front of Stiles and dropped his hand to take off Stiles' shoes. I picked him up bridal style and carried him over to the top of the bed. I gently laid him down onto the sheets careful to not catch his wrist as I placed him down. I tucked the over throw around his body. Stroking down his arms in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. I watched as his eye lashes fluttered. He was exhausted from todays events. I leant down and kissed his forehead. The skin there was soft and smooth and  the taste that lingered there was the same as his scent. Baked cookies, fresh cut grass, citrus fruits, hot coffee and home. I wanted to see if the rest of him tasted the same. If his lips where as soft and plump as they looked. If the taste on them was stronger than the taste on his neck or his ... Okay Derek stop. You are going to give your self a problem here. 

I started to stand up and came to my feet. I looked down at his face just as his eye lids where falling shut. He was beautiful. The way his thick full lashes rested against his high cheek bones and his upturned nose twitched. I stroked his cheek and pushed back a small tuft of hair that had fallen into his face. With one last lingering touch to his face I backed out of the room and closed the door. I listened until his heart beat slowed to a pace that meant he was asleep and walked down to the living room where the pups where waiting. All at the same time they looked up at me when I entered the room, "He is asleep". All tension left their shoulders and they all fell down into different seats cuddling close to their loved one. Erica picked up the remote and pressed play on the DVD player that has some action movie in it. Erica paused the movie after a couple of minutes and turned to me, worry etched onto her face. All I could do was say, "He's safe here, eventually he will be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one. I thought that it was important to know what Derek and the other Pack where thinking through these events and also clear up the end of the last chapter!


	15. Our discovery (Packs POVs)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pack's version of events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again there are warnings for self-harm and abuse/alcohol abuse in this one. This one is mainly so I could make my self feel better about Stiles by relishing in the Pack's guilt.

Boyd's POV

We followed Stiles back though the woods towards the Stilinski house hold. Stiles was no longer drunk but his drunken rant to us (which he thought was a hallucination) had tired him out. As he walked he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. The sight caused me to think back on all the times I had just dismissed the boy, I didn't think I was mean to him but I was defiantly not kind to him. The boy had always spared me a smile over the years, even before all this werewolf crap happened. He even used to say hi to me in the corridors when we where in middle school. The terrifying thing was that I thought that Stiles was happy up until about a week ago, I almost didn't believe it when Lydia had listed off all the medications that the boy was on. I almost spoke up against it when Lydia said that the now former hyperactive and bubbly boy had anxiety never mind being depressed. The boy didn't just look like he was tired from his drunken walk through the woods, he looked like he was done with life as a whole. It made my stomach drop and twist even thinking that someone so kind and loving and generous would ever feel that way about himself.

I looked over at Derek who seamed to be in deep thought. I could just tell that he was kicking himself over this. He had never said it but he loved Stiles, we all knew it. Stiles liked him back of course but the two of them (obviously when Stiles was still hanging around the pack, and putting up with being ignored) where oblivious to each others feelings had meant that they didn't act upon those feelings. I mean, I didn't involve myself in this kind of drama very often that was more Lydia's version of fun but the sexual and romantic tension was killing me, I wanted to just grab them both by their stupidly oblivious arms and lead them into a sound proof room/small closet then push their heads together. My god... I sound like I am involved in one of Erica, Allison, Cora and Lydia's heated Sterek fangirl moments. I mean I love my Mate so much, Erica is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would die for her but I wish their little Sterek fanclub would speak about the sex that Derek and Stiles would have away from where my werewolf ears could hear it. It is mentaly scaring.

Derek then got a funny look on his face, eyes still trained on where he could see Stiles. More specifically Stiles' ass and it bounced when he stumbled over a tree root. And oh god SERIOUSLY DEREK! now of all times. I watched in slight disgust when Derek put more weight onto his right foot instead of equal footing and twisted his torso slightly, readjusting himself. Ugghhh the sent of arousal spiked in the air and the wolves of the pack and Jackson all turned towards him with a look of slight disgust. Erica and Allison giggled causing Lydia to catch on and puff out a breathy giggle as well. Cora (even though she was a member of the Sterek fan club) did not seam to appreciate her brothers arrousel. Thankfully the scent went away as Derek got a grip of himself and we continued to walk to the Stilinski house.

Erica's POV

From my position near the back of the group I watched as Derek, in his minds haze, almost continued to walk into the Stilinski's garden which would have completely blown the final phase of the mission and probably unleashed a very distraught and angry Stiles onto us. I don't think I could handle seeing my batman feel anymore of those emotions. I wanted his smell to go back to pack and cookies, I wanted him to be happy and feel loved, I wanted my batman back, I wanted my Pack Mom. Before I could reach out to stop Derek myself Scott grabbed his arm and pulled Derek down so he was crouching with us behind the fence. I released a breath as Derek looked like he had finally sorted his thoughts, it was alway a comfort to know my Alpha was in the right head space. To be honest even when I had a crush on Stiles I never thought I would ever be hiding behind his garden fence spying on him. Then to be honest I never thought I would see the loving, caring and smiling boy look as he did now. I mean even though I am mated for life to Boyd and I love him with all my heart I can emit that Stiles is beautiful. But at this moment in time Stiles' beauty is being covered by a thick vail of depression and loneliness. We needed to lift that vail and allow Stiles to see that we are going to be there for him.

Stiles began to reach a shaking hand out to touch the door handle. His heart was beating like a freeking rabbit on red bull. His breaths where fast and uneven, clouding in the cool crisp air. I don't understand, why is he scared to walk into his house, the one place he is safe from bullies and the supernatural and the world that seams to want to destroy the boy. The feeling that hit my stomach was not pity. It was anger. Pure anger. I was angry at god or gods or the universe or whatever the hell was out there that felt the need for this brave and loving and caring and brilliant boy, my batman to feel so alone and lost that he was scared of every single place in the world. Scott turned to us and spoke in a hushed whisper loud enough for Allison and Lydia to hear but so that at the door Stiles would not. "We wait until he is inside his room then enter through his window. They are grieving today, I think it is best to leave Mr Stilinski to his sorrow and not intrude". Respect and love was in his voice, his pity not for Stiles but for the Sheriff who had lost so much. And... and who was slowly losing his only family he had left. He was slowly losing Stiles.

We watch and wait as Stiles stands there looking at the handle of the door like it could answer all the universes questions. The smells coming off Stiles made me want to gag, they made the air thick with anxiousness and depression. But this was different, that was now... that was now a normal scent around Stiles, the thought churns in my stomach. This was different though, the anxiousness was different, it was deeper, raw. It was terrifying. Boyd voices my thoughts and the pack turn to face him as he whispers, "Is it just me or is Stiles scared to go into his own home?". All I can do is nod and turn back to the door where I can see Stiles take a deep breath and twist the door knob. The latch clicks and the pop rings in my sensitive ears. Stiles walks into his house and my Stomach flips in a way I really, really don't like. Something bad is away to happen.

Peter's POV)

Once Stiles had gone inside his house, rather too shakily for my liking, I stood up the pack with me and we ran quickly over to the far corner of the garden just below Stiles' bedroom window. From this position we could see perfectly into the window looking into the kitchen. We had positioned ourselves once again in spots where we would not be seen or heard by the humans in the house. We had the perfect view of Stiles as he walked carefully into the Kitchen and stood as still as a statue when he saw his father sitting with his back to Stiles and to us through the window. 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Stiles did that thing again where he just stood and waited lost in thought. He seamed to do that a lot, having to take extra time for his brain to catch up to the rest of his body. The poor boy having to feel this way. All the medication and sadness pressing down on his brain making the ora about the boy thick and numb as if he was swimming through syrup. In between me and Derek Scott shifted from foot to foot, I understood why seconds later when the smell hit my nose in another assault of sadness, depression and fear all layered over Stiles fading natural scent. Then on top of all of that the very, very strong scent of alcohol, both stale and fresh flowing off of the Sheriff. It was so strong some of it was even laced in his natural scent. God, that means, well, my mind could not wrap around it. How had we known Stiles for so long and not known his father had a problem with alcohol. I felt sick. Then again we had not even noticed the boy was so depressed until last week.

Behind Scott Isaac began to move to approach the house, the pup was nervous and wanted to just get this over with, I understood and was away to move myself when I dropped back into position at the husky drunken tone of the Sheriffs voice. "I thought I told you not to come home today". I look to Derek who seam aware of everything yet nothing all at the same time. It is worrying to see my nephew in such destress as he thinks he has failed his mate. The weight of the words fell over the pack. On the anniversary of his mother's death the one person we believed still loved and cared for Stiles even when we forgot to had kicked him out of his home and then gotten wasted. It kind of disgusted me, I mean yeah i went a tad psycho and killed my niece (which I live to regret every time I see Derek or any other living thing at that) but Stiles, Stiles had done nothing in his life to deserve this crap that he has been getting for god knows how long. I look back over at Derek who is looking at Scott, a question gleaming in his green eyes. The rest of the pack all have the same look in their eyes, turning to the boy's best friend, his brother, in a question of whether Stiles and his father's relationship is as good as it has always seamed or as we had always presumed. Scott just tilted his head slightly and looked just like the confused puppy he is,"I... I don't understand?", his brow furrowed and I thought that he might burst a blood vessel thinking that hard.

The look on Stiles face was of pain, betrayal, fright and defeat. The boy honestly looked like he had lost all hope at the age of eightteen. Yet the look was of acceptance, as if he was preparing for something to come. Something bad was away to happen.

Scott's POV)

Why would the Sheriff kick Stiles out of the house, today Stiles shouldn't even be out the house. He should be sitting at that old piano playing his little heart out in remembrance of his mother. In the past year what has happened between the two that the Sheriff would even think to kick Stiles out even just for a day. Stiles looks utterly wounded and I just want to go up and hug all his sadness away. The words spoken by Stiles' father make him back up towards the walk as if expecting an impact from them. Stiles voice was scratchy and broken when he stuttered out, "I ummm.... I just wanted to sleep in my own bed". I hear a whimper from one of the members of the pack and have to do a double take when I realise it was Jackson. In resent years the two had made peace and Stiles even called Jackson 'Jax' as a nickname but the memories of bad blood between the two had always prevented a really strong friendship that could have been had. I tilt my head further in confusion and hope to god that the Sheriff is not going to do anything stupid as he balls his fists up in frustration on the counter. It doesn't make sense. I have always thought that the Sheriff and Stiles where so close, I used to be jealous of the father-son bond they shared (one that I could never have). But why was the Sheriff being so hostile and angry towards Stiles? Why was the man I had always respected and looked up to sending pure terror into his son that he loves so much? It just doesn't make sense. 

"I... I promise that I won't make any noise... it... it will be like I am not even the-", the smell of fear from Stiles increased dramatically, it burned my nostrils. He was so scared, how could anyone be that scared? I felt Derek look over at me, his face was filled with so many emotion and even though he had opened up to the pack I still had never seen so many emotions on the older mans face. I wonder what my face would look like, angry? Sad? Scared? Disgusted? Worried? I didn't know, I didn't even know how to feel. I honestly didn't really know what was going on. I am so confused.

Lydia's POV)

My eyes where still studying Stiles' downfallen face when my head snapped back to the situation at a large jarring noise, it was so loud that even with non sensitive ears Allison and I jumped, the noise startled me a gasp escaping my lips. The sheriff was shouting, if the neighbours weren't at work they probably would have wondered what was "GODDAMN IT BOY!" and why it was coming out of the Sheriff's home. The harshness of the words dispelled more air from my lungs in a breathy puff. The blond curls of Isaac's head dipped into Scott's side as he flinched at the noise. Oh god, this could not be good for him, the shouting of the Sheriff was just going to remind him of his drunken father and ... he had Scott, he would be okay. He would be able to pull comfort from his mate. But then again Scott himself did not look too good, I thought that going green when you where sick was just a phrase but Scotts skin had gone a pale sickly colour that did in fact have a greenish tinge. I looked back at the scene unfolding in front of us just in time to see the Sheriff's balled fists come down on the kitchen counter, the massive thud causing me to jump again. Jackson grasped at my hand, trying to still his fizzing nerves and his racing heart but also giving me the support and comfort I was needing.

Stiles flinched at the noise too and then again as a clear bottle of alcohol fell to the floor and burst into pieces. All the wolve's and Jax's nostrils flared and Boyd gagged, they must have smelt something they didn't like and by the look of it the smell was coming from Stiles, fright? Maybe? No noise came from the house for a moment and the tension was building for whatever was away to happen. Something was going to happen and it would not be good. The loud noise of the Sheriff's chair scraping against the floor as the Sheriff moved to stand flooded with the air and the wolves winced. The older man stumbled towards his son and Stiles went to stumble also but away form the other with fear evident on his face. And on the sheriff's face... a sneer full hatred. I didn't understand, Stiles always spoke of his father with such love and affection, how could he be this horrible and quite frankly a disgusting human being. I looked over to Scott for an explanation but the boy looked as if he was forcing down his own puke.  

Words filled with hatred and disgust that where shouted from the house snapped my attention back. It took me a second to realise that such horrible things where actually coming from the man that I thought was a loving father. It twisted my stomach and I thought I might join Scott in vomiting into the nearest shrub. "WHY CANT YOU DO ANYTHING I FUCKING SAY!". My jaw dropped in horror as the man continued to stumble towards his terrorised son. I watched as my friends eyes pooled with tears, the tears made his eyes beautiful in a horrifying way, the colour turned almost to dark smooth and glistening caramel in the now reseeding light of the afternoon. His voice sounded like a scared child when he spoke up again,"I...I..I'm..sss-". He is cut off by his father but I can just imagine him as the broken little 8 year old boy crying by his mother bed side begging her not to leave as the machine beside her flat lines. The Sheriff has stiles backed up against the wall when he barks his reply. Spit flying the face of the boy, "YOUR SORRY! NO YOUR PATHETIC!". Stiles head slammed against the walk in his attempt to escape his father. Scott was shaking his head furiously, he had tears in his eyes watching the man he respected and thought of as a father shouting abuse at the boy who was like his brother, it was reducing me to tears, I would hate to be Scott right now. "I don't... I don't understand.". Neither do I Scott, neither do I.

Scott's POV)

I felt like I was going to be sick, I was confused and furious and disgusted and there were just so many emotions. How could the Sheriff do this he was such a loving man. I don't understand. Tears where dripping down Stiles' face now and he looked as if he was suppressing sobs. My stomach flipped, how many times has this happened? How many could have been prevented if they had invited Stiles to come live with them. They had been happy and content with each other while his BEST FRIEND was suffering. I hated myself for it, he is my brother and i have failed him. I noticed Derek begin to shift. I quickly spoke up, "We wait until he goes to his room remember, we will talk to him about this when we take him back to the house, he knows John is just drunk, he knows his dad doesn't mean it. He loves Stiles". I thought it was the right thing to say, if we barged in their now the scene might turn nasty very quickly, they where grieving and right now if we went in we would just cause more distress. I started to regret my words when I hears the next sneer to come from the house, "your crying now, what right do you have to cry, uh, uhhh".  A choking noise left my mouth as the Sheriff reached up and grabbed Stiles face making his eyes meet the raging ones of his father. The absolute terror in Stiles eyes was a hint to what was away to happen but it was the acceptance of the situation shining in his eyes that told me this was not a one off even. The Sheriff had done this to my brother before. I gagged and for a second i really did think I was going to throw up in the nearest bush. Isaac gripped my arm tighter and whimpered, the pack's faces where sickly pale as they reached the same conclusion as me.

All shouting ceased in the house, I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that it was over. The only noise floating through the air was Stiles' thumping heart beat and his shallow, racking sobs. I could feel my own tears streak down my face and collide with the corners of my mouth. The saltiness burst on my tongue just as the next explosion of shout started in the house. They where shouted with such ferocity that Stiles pushed further back into the wall, Isaac let out another whimper squeezing his own eyes tightly shut and which caused me to flinch. "YOU KNOW THE TRUTH STILESSSS". The Sheriff said Stiles' name with more hatred than I had ever heard a name said. All I could do was shake my head and think 'what would Mrs Stilinski think if she had ever seen her husband in such a state'. I couldn't remember much of Stiles' mom, I remember she looked a lot like Stiles and she had a bright, wonderful smile. I could just imagine how her bright smile would fall and turn into a terrible frown at this scene in front of me. Derek's spine straightened and my ears pick up the start of a growl in his throat. I watched as Cora's hand whipped out and clasped her brother's squeezing it tightly. I watched the siblings until the harsh shouts picked up again and my attention was brought back to the house where I gasped in horror at the Sheriff's words, "YOU KILLED HER, YOU KILLED THE WOMAN I LOVED! WE WHERE HAPPY BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG AND THEN YOU KILLED HER, AND NOW I AM LEFT WITHT HIS PATHETIC, WEAK, HYPER ACTIVE LITTLE BASTARD! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM STILESSS. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU ARE KILLING ME!". With that I completely broke down, silent sobs racked my body and tears pooled in my vision.

How could he! HOW COULD THAT MAN ACCUSE STILES OF THAT! I felt like ripping the throat out of the one of the only men I have ever looked up to and idolised in my life. Then at the same time I felt like I was going to be sick but I new if I started I might not stop. Isaac's body was shaking where it was pressed into mine and I could see Lydia out of the corner of my eye with a horrified expression on her face and tears falling down her cheeks in black streaks from her makeup.

Isaac's POV)

Stiles was shaking so hard I thought he might disintegrate, he spoke in a pleading and vulnerable voice, "No. No. I didn't". I almost wept with relief when the Sheriff let go of Stiles' face, now that he wasn't touching him Stiles was safe. That's what I thought until the hand came back down. The hand collided with Stiles' jaw and I could picture my father's own hand doing the same with me. I wanted to scream for the boy who just fell to the floor sobbing, Stiles had done nothing to deserve this. I wanted to scream, IT'S NOT FAIR! and STOP! I wanted it to end. Instead as if it was an instinct I flinched back so hard I lost my balance and tumbled into Scott behind me. His strong hands caught my waist just in time. His eyes still set on his sobbing best friend. I was almost sent into flashbacks as the Sheriff stood above our sobbing pack mom and whispered his next words, they were dripping with hate and disgust "Yes, yes you did". The Sheriff's hand came down to strike stiles again sending him back to the floor. "go to your room, and don't even fucking dare to come out until I tell you or you have good reason". Everyone around me had their emotions mixing and firing about. It was almost too much. I just about vomited when the Sheriff went and got more alcohol before stumbling back past Stiles, spitting on him and then continues to another room of the house.

Stiles lay there as the door of the room slammed and then got up far to shakily and I hated how his body moved while doing it, like getting beaten was second nature and this was all routine. The boy then regained his balance and walked up the stairs to his room. With out conversing we followed Derek in a shocked silence up to the roof opposite Stiles bedroom window, rather gracefully in Derek's case as if he had done it a thousand times. We had a perfect view as Stiles burst through his bedroom door in a frenzy.

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Jackson's POV)

Okay I am going to be completely honest with you. I, Jackson Whittmore, am feeling like a colossal bag of dicks. Just seeing this, those words his dad spat at him, making him feel that way... well I regretted almost everything I had ever said to Stilinski, just the knowledge that it had once been my words that made the boy feel like that. It was making me feel awful and I didn't like it. Even though Stilinski is only a human he nearly took the door off of its hinges as he barrelled ungracefully onto the room. I looked at him wide eyed, he had tears dripping down his face and his mouth was imitating a fish out of water. He looked a reck, his clothes, his hair and just him in whole all seamed tussled and bedraggled. And then there was just him, the sunken sickly pale face and the dark almost black bags under his eyes from exhaustion. It was a wonder the boy was still on his feet.

His eyes flickered to the window and for a second I thought he had seen us but he seamed to be looking beyond us, out into a distance that didn't exist. We where in perfect view yet he didn't see us. Lightning fast the boy lunged forward and unlocked the window with shaking hands, prying the window open like his life depended on it. I was almost convinced it did when Stilinski stuck his head into the crisp Autumn evening air and stared to take deep panting breaths. Now that the window was open I could hear the thumping of the boys heart. Bloody hell, it sounded like a fucking rabbit hoked up on coffee. He was trembling and panting so badly I thought he was going into shock, maybe that had been one final hit to the head. The thought made my stomach twist. I remembered what Scott said about Stiles having anxiety. Was this an anxiety attack? Whatever it was it was scaring me shitless and a whimper escaped my lips.

I watched as even in the cold air sweat beaded on Stiles' brow. He was panting hard as if his lungs had forgotten how to work. It was the only noise, the horrible wheezing and when Boyd broke that silence I swear I didn't jump three feet in the air. "Is that... is he having a panic attack?" Boyd whispers. Like the others I turned to Scott curious of the answer."No, but if he doesn't calm in a few seconds it will be. they... they are worse than... this". My face twisted in mortification. How was something worse than this, Stilinski looked utterly destroyed. I don't understand how he would be able to cope with that but then again looking at Stiles was he really Coping? The shaking had started to ebb away and his heat beat wasn't echoing as much in my ears. His eyes where still glassy with tears but they were now blank and emotionless. Derek started to shift himself, away to move but Stiles walked back from the window towards his bathroom, Derek sat back wonder and curiosity evident on his face. I was curious too as the same scent passed over my nose as there is usually around Stiles followed by the scent of determination and slight gilt. Derek motioned for us to follow him as he walked along the edge of the roof, we followed in silence.

Derek sat back on his haunches away to leap through the window but stopped when Stilinski walked in with a box clutched tightly in his fingers. Derek clenched a fist in the air to signal us to stop so we did and watched as Sties lowered himself down onto the floor and pushed his back against the side of the bed. He slowly put the box down in front of him as if one wrong move and it could fall apart. He took three deep breaths and opened the box, what was inside hidden from us by the upturned lid. My stomach churned with a feeling of BAD and WRONG. Stilinski leaned forward and stripped of his usual plaid shirt unveiling a deep grey sleeved top. there was only a brief pause before that was off too and a loud gasp escaped me and was joined by one from each of the pack. This just did not make sense. Stiles had incredibly pale skin dotted with the moles like the ones on his face which was not that surprising and was the original reason that I had for Stiles never changing his top in the locker rooms or taking it off in front of anybody, like some sort of stupid insecurity about the little brown things but no apparently not. It also probably wasn't because of how skinny the boy was, I mean he wasn't disgustingly skinny but if he didn't sort his eating habits his ribs would soon start to show. The reason was probably the red, pink and silver, long, short and medium, vertical and horizontal scars that covered his stomach and arms and wrists and hips leading down into his jeans.

No one moved. Frozen in shock at what we where witnessing. Derek was glaring at the marks as if they were trying to beat him and his eyes shone red in the darkness. Stiles however was oblivious to this as he reached forward and pulled something shiny and out of the box in front of him. Once he pressed it to his inner arm I realised what the object was, it was a small and sharp blade that glinted in the moonlight as it slid across the soft flesh of his arm, tears stung my eyes because why, why, goddammit why! When the smell of metallic blood filled my nose I gagged and let the tears lose sobbing along with everyone else in the pack sans Derek who was now glaring at the blade as if his gaze would cause the metal to spontaneously combust.  I watched as the Alpha set his jaw in determination.

Allison)

The supernaturals all flinched and I could tell the scent of blood from the poor boy had hit their noses. I had tears streaming down my face and watched as powerful sobs racked Lydia and Scotts bodies, they where Stiles closest friends, I could only begin to imagine their thoughts. I let out a whimper that was joined by everyone else's apart from Derek who just set his jaw in determination. We watched as Stiles face shone in the moonlight a shaky and watery smile graced his lips and that is what snapped Derek in to action and the Alpha began to move. I watched in slight awe as Derek leaped gracefully and landed silently in the carpet by Stiles window in his bedroom. Stiles made another cut and I shook my head getting rid of the cobwebs stuck their. One by one we began jumping  through the window. Just as Scott's feet touched the floor Stiles went to make another cut only for Derek to grab his wrist. The blade went skidding across the carpet and the boy let out a whimper. Derek spoke just as Peter slipped through the window last and his voice was filled with the most emotion I had ever seen Derek show, "Stiles, look at me".

The boy in question just let out a broken sob in response and looked up at the Alpha, following his command. " I am real Stiles", the whisper was so gentle I thought I had imagined it and Derek lifted his hands to cup Stiles' face. Then Derek Hale, yes , DEREK HALE, used the pads oh this thumbs to gently wipe the tear streaks on the younger boy's face. It was so sickeningly sweet I thought I might have gotten diabetes.  Derek spoke to the boy again in the same soft and intimate whisper "Come on let's get you cleaned up while Lydia packs your bag, we are going home Stiles".The tension in the boy snapped and he slipped forward as if his energy had completely drained and sobbed into Derek's chest. The Alpha just wrapped his arms around the boys frame and held him to his chest. Stiles was safe now, and with the tiniest bit of slight joy I could say to myself 'mission complete'.

Cora's POV)

I let out a breath as I watched my brother cradle Stiles in his arms. Derek didn't have pity on his face, no he was looking down at the boy as if he was just given the most precious thing in existence... looked down at him as if he was just given a broken mate and he had to fix him... a mate, they were mates. I shot a glance at Allison and was surprised to see her looking back at me, I smiled at her slightly, I was going to tell her and soon, she had to know that she was my true mate, my wolf and I needed her to know. I don't know how long it was but soon Derek looked up from the sobbing boy, still clutching a sobbing Stiles to his chest and began to give orders. "Go get cars and the bike.", this was directed towards Scott, Jackson and Peter. Three nods. He then turned to Erica, Allison and I, "Pack up his room, everything and go get his mugs from the kitchen and DVD, the ones he loves and make sure to pick up a couple of photos of his mum", we nodded and I looked over at the drum kit in the corner, okay so next challenge. I walked over to it as my brother continued to dole out jobs. "Lydia clothes", another nod, "Issac, Boyd, help the girls". They turned and walked over to the Allison who was at Stiles' bookcase packing book into one of the suitcases found in the bottom of his wardrobe. I started to dismantle the drum kit into manageable and portable pieces making sure to memorise how to put it back together. 

Derek took Stiles into his bathroom to clean the boy up. No one spoke, we worked our way around the room packing books and posters and figures and other bits and bobs. A beautiful guitar was hanging on the wall and I packed it carefully into its carry case setting it beside the drum kit which I began to silently take down stairs leaving it beside other things at the door. While down stairs I packed Stiles' comic book mugs and glasses and some pictures of his mom,dad and himself, obviously leaving the majority but Stiles deserved to remember her much more than that monster did. I began walking up the stairs and when I reached the top I was met by Derek, Stiles (who seamed really interested in the carpet) and Isaac, Who where heading down stair. Derek inclined his head at me and Isaac squeezed my hand on the way past, they where going to tell the sheriff that Stiles was leaving. I didn't fail to notice how my brother's fingers where laced with Stiles' slightly trembling ones. I made it to the dissembled room as Boyd and Allison passed me with two suitcases each and more boxes followed by Lydia with a duffle swung over each solder.

In the room there was three more duffles and a few boxes but I went and picked up one of the two empty school rucksacks sitting out. I walked over to the bed side table. Now Stiles was a teenage boy I was aware of what I might find, I took a breath and opened the door. Okay so, Stiles was not a normal teenage boy, I knew this. I mean there was like no dirty mags or anything slightly pornographic. There was lube and a couple condoms but like that was it in the sexual way. There was random scraps of paper, some loose pens, some loose change, a packet of gum, spare batteries, a beat up journal, which no I did not look in and then of course those eight tubs of pills that rattled noisily as I fished them out and chucked them in the front part of the bag, they would be needed before anything else so needed to be accessible. I couldn't hear anyting the Sheriff or Derek where saying from up in Stiles' room but i could tell it was not all smiles and cheers, there was the occasional shout that caused me to jump every time. The others joined me back up stairs and we finished packing up so that Stiles' room was bare. It looked like no one had ever lived here and I didn't know if that was good or not.

Lydia POV)

Once the cars where loaded (including Stiles' jeep which would be driven by Scott) the others left. Allison and Cora took Scott's bike while Erica and Boyd shifted and sped off in the direction of the Hale house. I was putting the last box into the back of Peter's car as Derek, Stiles and Isaac walked out if the house, Stiles hand was gripped tightly by Derek as if he might disappear any second. They where soooooo cute together. Peter pulled away from the house and toward the Hale house followed by the Jeep once Isaac had joined Scott inside the vehicle. I walked over to the Porsche and got into the back seat as Derek was guiding Stiles into the other. When Derek was away to let go of the boys hand I grasped his other one and couldn't help send him a worried look when his expression remained blank. Derek walked round to the Porsche's passenger side door and climbed in.

As Jackson pulled away from Stiles' old home the boy just looked out of the window and watched it as it was left in the rear view mirror even when the house was not in sight anymore. The ride was silent which was unnerving with the knowledge that it was Stiles who was in the car with me. But I suppose after all this time and torture he wasn't really the same person anymore. After what felt like forever Jackson pulled up to the Pack house and I waited until Derek had walked around and linked his fingers with Stiles' again before letting go and getting out, taking a duffle and a school rucksack with me. I followed Derek and Stiles into the house with Jackson behind me carrying the rest of the boxes. The rest of the pack where waiting in the living room with Stiles' things occupying one corner. Derek nodded to the pack and continued up to his bedroom with Stiles beside him still gripping to his fingers. Jackson and I stopped with the rest of the pack and I walked over to Allison and began whispering about whatever the hell we all just discovered tonight. We all stopped when the creaking of a door opening echoed through the quiet house then closed again. Then we began to talk again moving to our usual seating around the room.

Erica's POV)

When I heard the door open and close again but Derek didn't come back around the corner I watched as the wolves ears twitched and I too listened to the heartbeats in the house and identified Stiles'. We all waited and listened in silence as it slowed to a sleeping beat and then simultaneously let out a breath of air as we heard Derek's soft footsteps come towards us.  The others in the pack and myself all flicked up our heads on Derek's entrance, "He is asleep". We all relaxed and I reached over to get the remote before cuddling up to Boyd and then pressed the play on the DVD that was in the machine, some action movie, I didn't particularly care at the moment. I couldn't get rid of the horrible sense of wrong and worry. I turned to Derek and didn't need to say anything for him to sense my anxiousness, "He's safe here, eventually he will be okay.", was his reply, I nodded my head and pressed play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that you enjoyed!


	16. The nightmare - (Stiles' POV, Scott's POV & Derek's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for fairly graphic violence.

Stiles' POV)

"Stilesssss...". The hiss had come from the back of my father's throat as he approached me from across the room. All of a sudden he was in front of me and sneering in me face. "Stilesssss", it was still my father's face but the tone in the voice was like Gerard Argent's and the hiss like the Nogitsune. The two beings that had tortured me the most in my 18 years of life. His face began to flicker showing me every bully and bad guy I had ever faced but always flicking back to my father, my name being hissed over and over. "Stilleeeesssss... Stilesssss". I squeezes my eyes shut and moved my head to the side trying to avoid the blank stare of my father. The man's face changed again and I was looking at Scott. "Pathetic little Stilesssss!", his crooked dog jaw further twisted by an evil glinting smirk. I flinched. The next face was Lydia's, "Worthlesssss human" she hissed in the nogitsune's whispering hiss. The rest of the pack popped up one by one. Peter, "fagot", Jackson, "useless", Cora "unwanted", Allison, "unforgiven", Boyd, "spastic", Erica "Untrusted" and the one that hurt the most, Derek, "You're unloved Stilesssss".

The face contorted again and it was my father again, I looked into his black eyes and flinched at the harshness in their deep abyss. I flinched again when he raised a hand and brought it down on my face. I fell to the ground. He struck again. And again. And again. I propelled my self forward and reached out my hands, fingers splayed in an attempt for them to come into contact with something to help. I found a post in front of me by a few yards and took another kick to the ribs before attempting to pull myself up. I failed as bonds snapped around my wrists and tied me tight to the post with my back now facing my father. I could hear the sound of a metallic laugh. The nogitsune's laugh. I knew I was stuck and I knew there was no way of getting out, there was no divine move here. I heard the sound of metal unclasping and leather slipping out of fabric. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, what was going on? What had he just opened. I was answered soon after I thought this, "Remember what I ssssaid Stilesssss". My thoughts where thick with panic, I didn't understand, "Chaos" a harsh metallic laugh, "Strife" another laugh, "and pain" there was no laugh this time, the nogitsune that looked like my father brought his belt down on the flesh exposed on my back.

The leather came down again, and again and again. Each time with a wetter more squelching sound of torn flesh and leather slicing through skin, slipping through blood. My back was slick with it and it began to pool around me in a crimson circle. From far away it would look like I was seated in a ring of rose petals. The belt came down once more over a previous cut and I screamed out and began to sob with the pain. "It's okay Stilesssss". The nogitsune/my father was breathing close to my ear. I felt its metal fang-like teeth slide along my jugular. With one final metallic laugh the nogitsune bit down on my throat and twisted its head to the side tearing out my throat.

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I shot up in a bed I didn't recognise clawing at my throat trying to yank away the imbedded teeth that where no longer there, that where never there. I vaguely was aware of a sob that escaping my throat as my heart began to slow sown from its dangerously fast pulse. It was still sputtering and racing as I tried to pull in long breaths to stop my hyper ventilating. Then before I knew what was happening I was being wrapped in strong arms and being brought into a large muscled chest. I sobbed into the dark fabric of a Henley and relaxed into the hold, melting like butter. I was safe in these arms, i was home in their hold. I sniffled once more and when my eyes where no longer filled with tears I looked up and Derek's green ones shone back at me.

Scott's POV)

There was about an hour and half of silence other than the noise of explosions and gun shots from the movie we where watching before another sound joined in. It always freaked me out slightly when a heart beat picked up as I could normally tune out everyones heart beat like it was just background noise, apart from Isaac's of course he was my mate, I could hear his from miles away. At first I thought the raising thumping was just in the movie but as it continued to escalate I looked around at everyone who stared back with furrowed brows. I was away to look at Derek in question when he shot out of his chair and raced up towards the rooms. Stiles!. We all bolted for Derek's bedroom and filled into the door way, we arrived to find a thrashing Stiles in the bed and Derek crouched down beside the boy with face pulled tight in concern and restraint. I knew that look, he was analysing the situation before acting. My attention was brought back to Stiles on the bed as he let out a small puff of air and his features contorted in fear. He was having a nightmare. We all thew that Stiles had had nightmares when the Nogitsune was in his body but as I looked over at the others I could tell thy were thinking the same thing... we had no idea that they where still going on. Was he still waking up scared the Nogitsune was in his body or where the nightmares to do with the other terrible parts of his life? But of course we didn't know.

His face twisted further as fear and fright warped his face, he had went from looking young in his sleep to looking vulnerable. Stiles' let out another whimper and twisted his fists into the sheets grasping at the soft material as if trying to pull on a life line. Another whimper and Stiles flinched in his sleep. "Stiles" Derek's voice cracked but it was in a loud enough tone that it should have awoken the boy. Stiles whole body convulsed as he tried to force his body backwards moving over to the other side of the bed in shaking movements. It was if he was trying to get far away from something. Another whimper. "STILES WAKE UP!". This time it was a shout from the older man to try and awaken the younger man but Derek's attempt did not awaken Stiles as the boy only let out a small sob. Stiles' small sob was released again through his mouth and his face was now contorted in emotional pain, and I couldn't help it. I began to try and shout to help Derek wake Stiles up, "Please Stiles!", was partnered by a "STILES WAKE UP!!" and a low whimper from Isaac as Stiles twisted the sheets again attempting to get free of the sheets only to twist them more. Stiles continued to twist and turn his little sobs turning into full on crying as tears tumbled down his pale cheek. All the while Derek and I where shouting for him to wake up with Jackson joining in on helping us when Stiles still would not wake.

Derek was just reaching his hands out to shake Stiles awake when the boy flinched harder and sweat began to bead across his forehead. It was then that Stiles' stopped thrashing for a moment to curl his knees to his chest and release deep throaty sobs. Derek reached again, this time to soothe the sleeping boy but was stopped once again when his sobs of sadness turned into sobs of pain and the screams began. Whatever Stiles was dreaming it was not good at all. Whatever it was it was causing him pain and it would cause him more pain if we didn't wake him up. Stiles' body uncurled as his back stretched and another scream of pain passed his lips. This time when Derek reached his hand out and gentle placed it across Stiles upper arm he managed to get a grip on him. Immediately there was another scream that was stopped short as Derek's veins began to turn black. We watched in horror as the black moved out of our friend along with another pained scream. Derek had pulled pain for less than a minute when he let out a roar of pain and fell backwards. "Derek!", Cora ran over to her older brother and Alpha. The streams of black died down in his arm and he turned to look at us. Through gritted Derek spoke, "He's in-", another piercing scream, "So much pain".

Isaac whimpered and grasped on to my hand squeezing hard. Derek signalled for Cora to move away from him and pushed up off the floor with a wince. He repositioned himself at the bedside as Stiles let out another scream of pain. Stiles' head was thrown back and another scream was let out, Derek began to lean over and then Stiles sat bolt up straight with a terrifying scream. He had sweat dripping down his forehead and was scrambling back on the bed, feet kicking at the sheets twisted around his angles, sobbing gasps coming from his mouth, heartbeat shuddering wildly and probably the most disturbing part was his hands which where clawing at his throat. They where scratching at an invisible force around his neck, a force that we could not see but had been all too real for Stiles a minute ago.

Stiles began to take long and deep breaths to clear his trapped air ways and his hands dropped down. His lip trembled as he began to calm with tears still pouring down his face in rivers but sobs now mostly quiet. He didn't seam to be aware of any of us as Derek brought him into his arm and pulled the smaller boy into his chest. Stiles' tense body went slack in Derek's hold and he began to sob into Derek's t-shirt for the second time today. As Stiles continued to cry Derek faced me and nodded. He had this situation handled, it had been along day. Everyone else seamed to get the message as they began to file out of the room towards their own with their significant other. I gripped Isaac's hand harder and led him out of the room and down the hall with Stiles' broken sob following us until they where cut off by the soundproof seal when the door finally shut behind us.

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Derek's POV)

I gently rubbed Stiles' arm as he cried into my chest. I was vaguely aware of the moment that the door closed behind Scott, when I could no longer hear his and Isaac's footsteps but could still feel them in the house due to the pack bond. Stiles' breathing calmed and he let out one more sniffle before looking up at me with teary eyes. Those eyes. Those beautiful, wonderful eyes. They where wide and round as be looked at me and my wolf somewhat barked at me from inside that I should rid the eyes of their sorrow and worry, which I agree with. However my wolf's method of doing this by making them wide with lust and pleasure was not what was quite necessary at this moment. Therefore I inwardly snapped at my wolf and forced myself back into focus with less images of Stiles underneath me, me pounding into him or the other way around... that would be fun to try. DEREK FOCUS!

I realised that we had just been looking at each other for what seamed like an age so I cleared my throat, "Sti-". I was interrupted by his voice that was scratchy and quite from all the shouting. "I'm sorry. Did I wake the pack?", I blinked at him, after a nightmare he was worried about the pack... after the day he had he was worried about the pack. My wolf preened at its choice of such a selfless and gorgeous mate. 'Not the time' I scolded it. "No Sti, it's fine we where all awake, they have just gone to bed once they came to check you where okay, but they have school tomorrow so I sent them away to get some sleep. I think I might be able to look after you." I gave him a slight bashful smile. His face broke in to a very slight watery smile but a smile all the same, "You really are a good Alpha Sourwolf, I never would have thought I would have said that when we first met.". My wolf was doing backflips at its mate's praise and was wagging its tale so forcefully I thought I might shift. And of course the nick name 'Sourwolf', I always frowned when he called me it before but that was mainly due to the fact I was always annoyed at my wolf's reaction to it. My wolf always just wanted to roll over to Stiles belly up in submission and its tail would go crazy whenever the boy used a nick name or a good comment.

"I'm not a good Alpha Sti", I looked down at the bed sheet crumpled below us. Stiles shifted in my grip and released a long arm from my embrace. I felt something slightly cold press against my cheek and Stiles' hand very gently tipped my head back up to meet his eyes. Our faces where only centimetres apart but the closeness did not seem to agitate Stiles or even myself. "Der, you're an amazing Alpha", his voice was a soft and intimate whisper. My reply came in a cracking voice as I tried to keep my emotions in check. "How can I be an amazing Alpha when the pack led by me failed to care for a member of the pack. Hell how could I not notice that the most important person to me was hurting?". A tear of my own trickled down my cheek and if I didn't find the expression on Stiles face so infuriating, I would have laughed. He looked like a fish out of water, like he couldn't believe that I had just said that he was the most important person to me, my mate didn't even know how important he was to me. My wolf's previously wagging tale plummeted and I almost whined out loud. Stiles' Hand that had previously tilted my head up came to my cheek and rested against it with a soft palm. His thumb came and delicately wiped away the single tear, I almost laughed when I remembered how I had done this only hours before to the boy broken on the floor of his bedroom, a blade in his hand. How had this been reversed?

Our faces where so close together that I felt his puff of exhaled air on the slight opening of my mouth and tasted him, baked cookies and coffee and cut grass and woodland and citrus and home on my tongue as his breath rolled over it. "That's in the past now Sourwolf", another small smile. "Just don't do it again", his tone was trying to be humorous but I picked up the pleading tone underneath it. "Just." His honey eyes searched mine, they where swimming with so many emotions and then I looked down at that sinful mouth I had dreamed about so many times. "Just don't", I felt him look at where my gaze was and then moved my eyes up to meet his. A small smile spread onto his lips, it might take a while to get back the bright playful one that I fell in love with that day in the wood. "Just don't leave me... not again". I nodded my head, "I will never leave you Stiles", it came out all breathy but sounded definite. "Good, cause I want you to stay", his other arm had come out from between us and both locked behind my head, at some point my arms had slipped down to encase his hips. My words where still whispers when I replied, "Then I stay".

I can't even remember who leaned forward but our lips where connected in a soft pressing kiss. No tongue, no teeth just a press of the lips but it conveyed everything. The adoration, the need, the want, the secrets, the apologies and of course the promises. And just like that the only thought that was going through my head was, I love Stiles Stilinski, I love my mate. Our lips parted from each other but stayed so close I could feel them brush against mine as I whispered, "You Stiles Stilinski, you where worth waiting for". Stiles released a small chuckled and laid his head against my collarbone so his head was tucked into my neck. I tipped my head down to rest on the top of his head and laid us down with me on my back and him resting over my side slightly. With a lot of skill and wiggling I managed to wrestle my jeans off of my legs, only having to unhook one arm to assist, while Stiles just readjusted and snuggled into me with every shift. After I had ridded myself of my jeans I pulled up the cover and laid it over us rewrapping my arm around Stiles' waist. With one final snuggle Stiles got comfortable and relaxed, I watched as his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing even out then I myself shut my eyes and thought, I am here now Stiles, I am here to fight away the nightmares and I am not leaving, ever again. With that thought, I relaxed. Relaxed into the scent of mate and home surrounding me, relaxed in the presences off all my pack in the house about me and relaxed into the feeling of my mate with me finally. We had a long way to go but we would get there. I fell into a pleasant darkness to the sound of my mate's heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you Enjoyed!


	17. Roomies? - (Stiles POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have been enjoying and are ready for some happier chapters on there way!

When I first woke I was confused to say the least. The first notable thing was that I was not in my bedroom at 'home'. The room was larger, the walls where a deep cream with the far away wall as a focus in a rich chocolate colour with a matching thick Woolley carpet of deep chocolate also. There where three large book cases set into one of the cream walls, a dark oak wardrobe and a dark oak desk in the other cream wall, while a large window with cream drapes that cascaded to the floor was in the chocolate wall. I was sitting sleepily on the extremely large bed that was pressed up to the remaining wall paired with two deep oak side tables on either side of the bed. I looked over at the table on the other side of the bed to see a glass of water, a set of keys, a small dish with a bunch of change, a closed book and a digital alarm clock that read 07:00am. I reached my hands out beside me and almost moaned at the feeling of the soft sheets beneath my palms, the sheets where still warm and my brow furrowed, did I share a bed with someone last night?

It then hits me like a tone of bricks, I remembered the past day, the woods, the beating, the cutting, the pack... Oh god the pack know, the pack found out! And oh. my. god. I was sitting in Derek's bed... I had kissed Derek. I had kissed Derek Hale. I HAD KISSED DEREK FREEKING HALE! I didn't know whether to dance with joy or become a curdled up ball and cry until everything just went away. Then I remembered my d- the Sheriff, he was not my father anymore, he had disowned me, but lets be honest with yourself Stiles he hasn't been your father in a long time. My thoughts where disrupted by a light knock on the door. I gave my eyes another rub and felt my contacts scratch in protest... will have to take them out soon, not good keeping them in this long, but in all fairness I had been a bit... preoccupied. "Y-yeah?", oh god is that what my voice sounds like right now, I sounds like I have used sandpaper on my vocal cords. The door cracked open further and the Strawberry Blond waves of Lydia peeked around the corner. "Hey Stiles", she had a small slightly timid smile on her face as she looked at me, "Derek said that you can help yourself to whatever fits in the wardrobe as you might want to change out of the stuff that you wore yesterday and you can wear that today as you unpack your other stuff.", I gave her a nod then cleared me hoarse throat, "Thanks Lyds". She smiled at the nickname and added, "Well we are all down stairs just getting ready and stuff so come down as soon as you are done.". With another small smile Lydia was back out the door closing it slightly behind her. I sat for another second trying to wrap my thoughts up and then realised that would be quite impossible with out my Adderall. Sighing I got up and walked over to the wardrobe.

I ran my hands along he hard wood panelling and enjoyed the feeling of the carved decoration under my finger tips. I pulled on the door and almost laughed when the items in the wardrobe where revealed. Black, and navy, was that some grey? It was so Derek. I ran my fingers over the fabric and let some of the materials of the cloths slip relaxingly through my finger tips. I scanned the clothes and tried on a few things, eventually I found a maroon sweater that wasn't atrociously too big on my smaller frame, though it was still very baggy and gave me large sweater paws. The sweatpants where a no go as they all just slipped off of my hips. At one point I did come across a pair of leather trousers and let out a small chuckle as I imagined Derek wearing them, then I choked on my chuckle as I imagined Derek wearing them. Oh god Stiles mind out of the gutter. But Derek's ass. STOP RIGHT THERE BRAIN! I really need Adderall like yesterday. I started to fish deeper into the wardrobe and found a discarded pair of black jeans lying at the bottom. They where far too small to be Derek's, in fact they looked like my old lucky jeans that I lost... I looked at the label... they where my old lucky jeans. DUDE! They where comfier than I remembered and maybe a bit snugger but hey I haven't worn them in two years and they where meant to be skinny jeans. It was a bit of a task getting them over my ass and it may have involved a lot of jumping and a lot of flailing. Eventually I managed to put myself into the things and was content with their snug and comfortable fit. I turned towards the door and took a deep breath. First things first, get these God dammed contacts out and then take meds. Then and only then will I answer any of the hard questions the pack will undoubtedly ask me. I walked over to the door and wrapped my hand around the nob. I took another deep breath and opened the door stepping out into the hall and walking towards the main area of the pack house.

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I heard the pack before I saw them which to be honest was a first for me, they where laughing and joking while in the kitchen and adjacent to the dining area. This would have usually caused a pang of pain in my chest knowing they where happy with out me but this time it didn't, it was almost reassuring. I was safe, they had brought me to the pack house where they are noticing me and where I was kissed by Derek Hale, I mean I still can't get over that he kissed me, like what!?!? I knew that I was in hearing distance of the wolves but they still continued joking and laughing. When I rounded the corner I was happy when they didn't stop laughing but all turned to me with smiles on their faces and a collection of "Hey Stiles" and "Hey bro" and all other terms of endearment that made a warm feeling spread though the part of me that had began to return to its numb unfeeling state. I gave them all a small smile and spoke up when their conversation had gone to a quiet lull, "ummm... does anyone know what bag my bedside drawer was emptied into?". It was Cora who turned to me smiling and said, "That would be me, come with me sir". She waved her hand in a gracious mock of a bow and I let out a small huff of a chuckle at her antics following her over to the other end of the room towards my bag mountain. She reached over to my school bag and picked up a backpack before placing it in front of me. She looked over at the others and smirked when she saw they where not paying attention. "Good choice of jeans, I think I saw Derek drooling when you where walking over, and also the sweater was a great choice, you look so cute!". Her voice was a quite whisper but picked up in pitch in a very unCora-like way near the end. I could feel my cheeks and ears turn red but Cora just cooed at me.

I opened up my familiar school bag and rooted around the books and other things looking for the contacts I kept in there. I cursed and a few of the pups looked over at me but I was too busy trying to materialise contacts into the box to notice. I sighed and dug back into my bag. Well just my luck I would have to wear my glasses because I didn't get new contacts ordered in. I found what I was looking for and fished out my glasses case from the bottom of my bag where it normally dwells. I flipped open the red case and plucked out my thick rimmed black glasses, They where those 'geeky' look ones that I have had similar designs in since I was five because the thinner ones 'didn't suit me' and I wanted to look like Clark Kent. I rooted around in the front pocket, where someone had stashed all my meds, thank god I knew where they where and found a packet of tissues. Now a normal person doesn't normally go about stabbing themselves in the eye with their finger so I understood the weird looks I got from the pack as I started to prod at my right eye trying to get out my contact that had been in for probably way too long. "Stiles... what are you doing?", Scott sounded like he was away to burst into laughter as he spoke. I chose to ignore him and finally managed to fish out the little bugger holding it up in victory, I then tucked it into the tissue and started work on the other lens. "You need contacts?" Jackson's tone was half surprise, a quarter curiosity and a quarter... amazement? "I have had glasses since I was four, contacts since I was bullied about the glasses when I was eight". Realisation dawned on Jackson's face then self loathing, "Oh... oh I remember", I saw the guilt on his face and couldn't stand it, "It's okay Jax, I was a long time ago". The other boy relaxed but I could still see some tension in his shoulders.

I let out a quiet yelp of victory as I got the last contact out and blinked a few times at my extremely blurry vision. I scrambled about a bit before finding the open glasses case and picked up the black frames. I snapped them open and pushed them up onto the bridge of my nose. Again blinking a few times, I finally got used to the clear vision and turned back to the front pocket of my bag fishing out the pill bottles. The wolves where still fairly quiet but it was a peaceful silence with only concerned glances thrown in my direction as I sorted through the pill bottles to find the four I needed, I needed the pain killer on top of my usual three morning ones as even just sitting here I could feel the sharp pains from the beating last night. I unscrewed the lock bottles with an expertise and tipped out each of the pills I needed collecting them into the centre of my palm the five little pills danced in my palm (dosage of the pain killer required two tablets), and then I walked over to the kitchen area where everyone was standing and Derek was in deep conversation with my baby pup... I mean Izzy... I mean Isaac, like I totally don't have cute pet names for the pack...

As I made my way into the kitchen Erica passed me a glass and I nodded my head in thanks to my Catwoman. I walked over to the tap and felt someone following me with their eyes. I ignored it and filled up my glass with cool water. I turned off the tap and took a mouthful of the liquid relishing as it glided down my aching throat. I heard a low whimper and turned to the puppies expecting it to be one of them, "What?". I looked at Cora and then Scott who where both looking at Derek with horror and then to Erica, Jackson (who whispered something to Lydia) and Lydia (who once Jackson had whispered to her) who where all smirking. I turned shaking my head and gulped down the pills washing them down with water to get rid of the horrible taste that they left in my mouth that I will never get used to. Once downing the glass of water, I walked back over to the living area and bent over to pick up my school bag and take out the toothbrush that was in the front pocket of the duffel where I could see the brussels over the canvas.

I turned back around to see Cora looking in between Derek and I with pure horror written on her face. I looked at Derek in question and before he ducked his head was able to see the pink cheeks blooming on his face... it was cute, if Derek Hale could ever be cute. "My god brother... just... just, I want to go to school". Derek seamed to snap out of some sort of haze, "Ummm... yeah... of course, right", he was nodding enthusiastically and looked totally flustered. "Derek are you okay?". He whipped his head up and began nodding again furiously, Lydia huffed something about, "oblivious idiots" and went to pick up her purse from the couch. Peter cleared his throat and I flinched slightly, that man could come from anywhere. The pack decided not to mention my little flinch and I was happy for that. "Nephew, if you want to begin helping Stiles unpack I will be the extra car for school". Derek looked over at his uncle and then back at me, "Yeah!, uhuh... I mean sure, whatever", his furious nodding turned into a shrug and the pack filled out of the door to school with Boyd dragging an Erica who was howling with laughter and Allison and Cora pressed against each other holding each other up through fits of giggle. The door closed behind them and I turned to a still slightly red Derek. "That was weird". All Derek did was nod and announce that he needed the bathroom before we started to pack away my things.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"So... umm", my attention was brought back from my bags in the corner by a returned and a slightly less flustered Derek. I wondered how long I had just been staring at my belongings and shook my head slightly to get rid of what seamed to be fluff caught in my head. "Right so lets start with the musical instruments". I tipped my head in obvious confusion, "What?". Derek's mouth stretched into a smile that sent a shiver down my spine and butterflies to flutter in my stomach. Derek scratched the back of his head in an adorable way, "Well we have a music room", I felt my jaw drop and then felt as if it fell off when Derek added, "It's across form the library, you want to put your instruments there first?", all I could do was nod my head in shocked amazement and follow a chuckling Derek through the house. The music room was on the second floor of the house and was entered through one of two intricately carved doors. The door we walked through (Me carrying my guitar case and a small suitcase filled with sheet music and Derek carrying my electric guitar and the amp) was beautiful. It was jet black which looked like a solid colour from far away but up close I could make out navy and Dark greys worked into the carvings, highlighting them to make then appear realistic. There where symbols, the one that stood out most being the triskalion, music notes arranged in a melody that I knew was beautiful just by looking at it, there where also different instruments, percussion and string and wind and so many more. I ran my free finger over a segment of the tune carved into it and it was as if I could feel the beat in the wood. My finger reached the source of the bar and I smiled slightly, it was a wolf, head tipped back and eyes closed howling out the tune.

The door opened smoothly with a push of my finger tips and I was so amazed I think my brain stopped. It was glorious, beautiful, I wanted to live in this very room. I gasped out loud needing to make some noise to express my amazement to the man in the room with me. There where all sorts of instruments on the back wall framing a large window with a soft window seat looking out over an area of the wood with a beautiful blue lake visible in a close by clearing. The window had red silky drapes drawn tight back on either side that matched the red pillows spread across the window seat that was large and luscious and was covered by what looked like a ridiculously thick black blanket. Derek walked over to a far cupboard with a door similar to the one we entered through but its carvings where only music notes twirling around the wooded panelling. He placed down my amp on the dark oak flooring next to a couple others and rested my electric guitar case against it before disappearing into the cupboard. As Derek rummaged around in the cupboard for something I looked around the room. The colour scheme was red, black, dark brown and white, with hints of silver and gold. I almost let out a chuckle at how beautifully that my guitars and drum kit would fit it. Speaking of my drum kit, it sat in a corner completely reassembled. I walked over to it and lent my guitar case on the side of the window seat on my way over before running my hand along the instrument I hadn't played in such a long time. There was a post-it note on the snare drum and I plucked it off.

'If you are reading this I see my brother has shown you the music room. I hope I put this back together properly! I better hear you rocking out at some point soon Sti, Love Cora x'.

My attention was snapped back when Derek came clattering back into the room with two guitar stands and placed them beside another acoustic sitting on a similar stand and motioned for me to place my electric guitar on one while he put my acoustic on the other. I straightened my guitar on the stand and Derek turned to me, "I am just going to put the cases into the back of the store", he pointed at the cupboard door, "If you want you can keep all your music sheets over there." He pointed to a shelving unit with a whole bunch of folders with different labelling, some of which I could make out as names. 'Derek', 'Peter', 'Talia', 'Oliver' and 'Laura' where just a few of many. I walked over to it and picked up an empty folder and a sharpie from a pot on one of the shelves. 'Stiles', I scrawled on the edge and put all my music sheets inside, I had to use three as all my music wouldn't fit and then I placed the red folders onto the shelves next to the others. I looked down at the sheets I had kept out of my folders and picked up another empty folder. I uncapped the sharpie and wrote 'Claudia' in black ink on the edge of the folder and added the left over music sheets, I smiled slightly as I pushed the folder on the shelf beside mine. Just as I was turning back to Derek I spotted something in the corner of my vision and walked towards it. It was huge and elegant and beautiful. I ran my hands over the top of the dark oak grand piano in front of me and turned back to Derek.

"This place is beautiful", he smiled at my reaction and then said something that I had never imagined him to say. "Yeah, my family loved music, I wanted to honour them with this place. You know a nice and beautiful place to just create instead of destroy". I felt like my jaw had hit the floor, that was so deep. "I saw your name with the music sheets. What do you play?". Derek turned bright red and scratched the back of his head. "I ummm... well I play the cello, violin and tuba." I gave him a small smile, "That sounds amazing. They are beautiful instruments". He smiled at me, the tips of his ears still pink then coughed slightly as if getting past a lump in his throat and announced, "Should we get going with your other things then?". I nodded and one again follow Derek out of the room. I was totally not checking out his beautiful firm ass. Not at all.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Derek and I made lunch working side-by-side in the large kitchen in harmony. When the sandwiches had been constructed and a delicious salad made with 'the Hale's secret dressing' we walked over to the living room area and Derek sat on his armchair while I pulled up one of the bean bags in the corner and placed it slightly to the side of the chair so I could watch the TV at the same time as talk to Derek once I had finished my lunch. The TV was playing some crime show that looked suspiciously like NCIS but I wasn't really paying attention. I was starting down at the sandwich in front of me, I had purposely made it as small as I possibly could with minimal fillings but it still looked terrifying to me. I just sat there and stared at it, I didn't know what to do with it. I only ever ate when I absolutely needed to and now, now I didn't need to I had had a plate of pasta two days ago? maybe three but I felt as full as ever and even the sight of the sandwich made me feel sick.

Derek had polished off his sandwich and turned to talk to me but his eyes where drawn to my full plate. I felt my heart rate pick up, "I... I...", I could feel tear well in my eyes and I inwardly scolded my self for being so pathetic. Derek was sat crouched in front of me in the blink of an eye, "Shhh, Stiles, calm it's okay, Shhh", his southing tone calmed me enough that I didn't almost get sent into a panic attack. "I'm sorry, I just... I don't know just looking at it... It just makes me feel sick.". I looked up to Derek's green eyes and saw something I was not expecting... understanding. "It's fine Stiles. It will take a long time but with my help and the rest of the pack we are going to get you better. If you don't want to eat the sandwich that's fine". I let out a small breath of relief. "but" oh god there was a but and not the good kind. "I want you to eat two forkfuls of the salad, just two." Two forkfuls, I looked down at the salad. "I said we would help you get better but we are starting now. Baby steps.". I nodded slowly as if taking a while to process the words as they entered my brain. "Two just two" I echoed and lifted a forkful to my mouth. Two forkfuls of salad later I felt like I was bursting full but the wide smile that Derek gave me was slightly worth it, he didn't need to know that the tasted like ash and chalk in my mouth.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Two episodes of NCIS later I found myself sitting on the armchair beside Derek snuggled into the warm werewolf. What? It was the 25th of October, I was always cold and the new chill in the air didn't help one bit. "iles, Sti!". I was snapped out of my thoughts by Derek who had shifted beside me as if he was getting up. I wanted to scold him and say something like 'no! I demand more wolfy cuddles' but I didn't know what response I would get and I didn't want to push my luck. "hmmm" I responded as Derek finally stood leaving me unceremoniously sprawled across the armchair. "We need to get all your stuff put away the pack will be home in about half an hour". I looked over at the clock on the mantle piece. So they would be. I turned back to Derek, "So my room?". He scratched the back of his neck and blushed slightly. Oh god was there no room for me, was I going to be living in the basement. I couldn't handle basements after the Nogitsune. I had passed out from a panic attack when the sheriff had lock me down there once when I had burned the dinner.

"Um well, there is no furbished bedroom in the house, only empty rooms but I thought that maybe you might.... that you might want to stay in mine. I want to be able to wake you up from any nightmares." I almost cooed out loud but I held in my internal fangirling and just nodded my head, "Sounds good roomie". Derek's face would have looked like he was annoyed it where not for the gleam in his eyes or the upturn of his soft pink lips. He walked over and picked up four heavy looking bags as if they where pillows and I huffed, stupid werewolfs and their stupid super strength before truding up and lifting two of my backpacks and another smaller suitcase and following the sourwolf himself into his den... hehe den. I dumped my bags onto the bed and started to unpack as Derek went back and got the remaining bags in two trips. He gave me one side of the massive wardrobe and one of the whole bookcase to myself and told me I could put my research folders in the library which he would show me another day along with a study that I could have for myself for school work or art or whatever, of course my jaw dropped at this.

"Der... won't my sent be like... all over your stuff now", Derek blushed, "Yeah but its okay it will smell like pack. Like .... pack". I nodded and wondered why he said pack twice, was he going to say something else?. Before I could ask, Derek perked his head up and announced that the pups where home. I finished putting one final plaid shirt on a hanger and went down stairs with Derek to see the pups. I was greeted with some hugs and heys and hi's while Isaac moaned about calculus homework that I promised to help him with to resieve over dramatic thank you's for. Behind me I heard Derek chuckle fondly and turned to give him a questioning glance, he just shrugged his sholders and walked over to his armchair. Everyone else followed onto their respective seats and I was about to walk over to a disgared bean bag in the corned when Derek pulled me down onto the armchair, I huffed but tucked my cold feet under his warm body and curled myself under the blanket that was now spread onto of us. I thought I heard someone coo but I desided to ignore it in favour of readjusting into an even more comfortable position. Erica the control master turmed on some criminal minds and I sighed in content, I felt safe surrounded by my pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter!


	18. You again?! - (Derek's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small warning there is minor smuttiness in this chapter, literally I don't even know if it counts or not.
> 
> Also I imagine Stiles' singing voice to sound like Alex Gaskarth from All Time Low (this is relevant for this chapter. I first thought this because I was listening intently to their Album 'Future hearts and realised that practically all the songs could tie in really, really well with some of the things that happen to Stiles in the show especially after the Nogitsune and also 'Dancing with a wolf' reminds me of just after the whole Scott finding out about the Donovan incident. Just listen to it and really listen to the words. I hope someone else gets this and it's not that I am just insane.

I woke up on Thursday morning with a comfortable weight sprawled across my chest. Over the past two night I have discovered a few things. 1) Stiles does not snore but does occasionally let out little puffs of air from his mouth and at the same time his cute upturned nose twitches. 2) For the first time since I was twenty I am able to wake up with almost painful morning wood. And 3) Sleeping in the same bed as Stiles is like sleeping in the same bed with an octopus. Yesterday I woke up and had to almost chop Stiles' arms off to get out of their vice like grip around my waist, his legs curled up to his chest and tucked between us and his head tipped downwards and rested on my pecks. Today on the other hand I was so comfortable I didn't even want to think about moving an inch. Stiles was laying half on top of me, his head tucked into my neck with my nose buried into his hair, his cheek rested against my right peck and his left hand rested over the other. His other hand was gentle gripped through my hair as if at some point he had been stroking it, our legs where so twisted together the only way I could tell who's where who's where because of Stiles' Star Wars pjamas bottoms and my black sweat pants. My right arm was flung up beside my head and my left wrapped tightly around Stiles' waist. I listened as a small puff emitted from Stiles and I felt is nose twitch against my peck.

It was at this moment that I reaslised I need to get up and start to get ready for two reasons, 1) I needed to help get the pups ready and 2) If Stiles woke up soon it might be very akward concidering that my extremely hard boner was poking Stiles in his hip. I let out a quite and soft moan as I went to stand, finally able to untangling Stiles but accidently catching my sweatpants covered dick on the hem of his sleep shirt as I pulled away from him. I felt every single point where my dick dragged along Stiles' stomach. As it dragged along the friction was the best feeling ever and as I walked away from the bed and towards the bathroom Stiles whinned and scrambled for me in his sleep. He caught a hold of the pillow I had been using and pulled it up against him hugging it to his chest and burying his head into the soft fabric. My stomach fluttered and I felt my balls draw up at the action which should really not be that hot.

I walked into the bathroom and stripped off my sweat pants dropping them onto the floor and moaning slightly as my erection slapped against my stomach spreading pre-cum on my abs. I turned the shower on and stepped in once the water was at an okay temperature. I washed my hair and tried to ignore my erection hoping it would just go away by itself, I rubbed in my shampoo and tried to stop my brain as it imagined what it would be like for a certain brown eyed human to do it for me. Once washing the suds from my hair with only minimal moans as my dick moved against my stomach when I shifted, I moved to pick up the bar of soap and I cursed as the bottle of shampoo fell from the holder and make a giant crash. I heared Stiles heart beat speed up as he woke up. The beating of his heart caused my dick to twitch and let out another little pulse of pre-cum. Hell there was no way I was getting rid of this in time and Stiles would need the bathroom soon so I did what I had to, I fisted my dick in my right hand and used my other to support myself against the wall.

"Derek?" I bit my lip to muffle a groan as Stiles voice came from behind the door, I hasened my tugs adding the ocational twist of my wrist at the shaft and flicking my finger over the slit imagining it as Stiles tounge. "Der... are you okay?", Stiles voice was full of concern and I tried to reply but it came out as a gasp, "Y...yeah...h". Stiles steady but also slightly elevated heat beat thundered in my ears and his scent pulsed around me, I remembered what it felt like waking up with him this morning, the feeling of my dick rubbing against his stomach and moaned having to bite my fangs into my lips to choke the shout of Stiles name as I came onto the drain of the shower. "Derek whats wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" I watched my cum be washed away by the water and felt the red rise in my cheeks as I replied, "Ummm... yeah I just slipped and hit my elbow, it's healed, you know werewolf healing.", I made sure to shout as I had to remember not everyone had super hearing. Thank God. "Okay, as long as your okay." There was silence and I wrapped a towel around my torso as I stepped out of the shower. "And Der... Can you hurry. I like really need to pee.". I had to ask my self why I found his voice so cute when he said that. You have issues Derek Hale, serious issues.

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We where all gathered in the kitchen and dining room chatting and getting ready before the pups had school. Isaac had crowded me when I stepped off the last stair and pleaded with me for scrambled eggs and well I could not say no to those puppy dog eyes. So here I stood at the cooker hob mixing eggs in a haze of tiredness and a steaming cup of coffee to my right. Out of the corner of my eye I can see a dopey looking Scott talking to Isaac who's vision has squared onto the eggs and is all but ignoring Scott. The kid really loves scrambled eggs. There was a loud crash from up stairs and a loud 'Shit' and then a shout from Stiles "Ummm... does anyone have ducked tape?!". I watched as Scott's head snapped up from his cereal and he sprinted up the stairs towards where the sound came from.

I heard the thump of Scott's feet as I tipped the eggs onto the plate and just about chucked them at Isaac to run up the stairs like Scott. That was until I stopped in my footsteps when I heard the uncontrolled laughter of Scott and a grumbled "Dude!" from Stiles. The rest of the pack where now very much interested and followed as I went up the stairs. Upon seeing Stiles the pack burst into laughter and giggles, Jackson was full on rolling on the floor. Stiles was sitting in the middle of the hall way amongst the remnants of a broken wooden table, he had wood splinters in his hair and the shade to the lamp that it had been sitting on the table was around his neck so it looked like one of those cones on a dog. Stiles face made the whole picture, his lip was stuck out slightly and the pouting look made Derek shake his head a few times because that bottom lip was just asking to be bit and sucked on. Pink was dusted across his sharp cheek bones and spread up to the tips of his ears. He smelt of slight embarrassment but he didn't have any additional sadness or upset to the scent that was a constant on him anyway, for now.

Lydia whipped out he phone and took a photo. Stiles pleaded, "Please Lydia don't put that up on social media", his tone of voice made the laughing come to a end as we where reminded about Stiles' low self esteem and anxiety about bullying, maybe he had been cyber bullied? Does he still get cyber bullied? Another thing they had to talk about. I tried to divert their attention, "Everyone into cars, I will be down in a minute after I help Stiles clean up a bit." Everyone nodded and went down stairs to get bags and get into the car as I stretched out a hand and lifted Stiles off of the floor. I smiled at him as I lifted the lamp shade from a round his neck and felt him shiver when my finger tips ran along his neck. I pick the majority of the wood splinters out of his hair and suggested that he maybe went into the shower to get the remainder out while I was out. "You will be okay right? I have some errands to run after I drop the pups off and I need to do a patrol of the preserve. I will be back with the pups once school is out as they don't have practice tonight. I could get Peter to drop in by when he is passing from whatever the hell he does." I realised I was pulling a Stiles and rambling when I saw the slight upturn of his lips and dipped my head feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. "I'll be fine Der, I'm safe here". My wolf preened when Stiles said that he felt safe, it felt like it was running around I circles and took until I had said goodbye to Stiles in the kitchen where he downed his medication was a glass of water to calm down.

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I looked over to the Camaro to see no one was in the passenger seat and groaned when I realised that the pack had decided to take the mini-van to school so they could all be together in the car. I turned on my heal and face the mini-van in question where a bashful Isaac waved at me from the front passenger seat with a slight smirk. The cheeky little shit. It kind of did make sense though as the full moon was in two days, on Saturday night and the pack bond will be demanding that they say close to their pack mates more so than usual. I opened the driver door and got in, finding the right key on my keys I plunged it into the van and drove out of the garage through the already open door. I saw out of the corner of my eyes all the pack look at the house where they could see Stiles sitting on the window seat in the high up music room tucked up into the corner looking down at his guitar in question. I smiled and kept my eyes on the road as Allison address Scott. "I thought you said that Stiles hasn't played in years?". I could hear the smile in his voice when he replied, "He hasn't".

The drive was filled with chatter until Cora spoke up, "So when are you and Stiles officially going to tell us you are a couple, like you have to properly say it so the Sterek fan girls - a little whoops from Allison, Lydia, Cora herself, Erica and ... Jackson? - can have a proper celebration.". I felt my cheeks turn red, "Stiles and I are not dating.", I didn't mean for my voice to come out as such a whine but I could just hope they didn't. It was Jackson who spoke up out of all the gaping members of the pack, "Dude, you and Stiles have been pining over each other for like ever!", the exasperation in his voice was both amusing and terrifying, Lydia has taught him well, "I am pretty sure Stiles has been crushing on you for years." Scott nodded his head along with Jackson's point, "Dude since when we met you in the woods Stiles had talked about how hot you are.", I cleared my throat hoping that Scott would get the message that I did not want to talk about this but no his next comment made me slam on the brakes (luckily we where outside the school not on the main road) and look at him in horror while the pack just laughed along with slightly disgusted expressions on their faces. "And to be honest Derek I don't ever want to hear what Stiles wants to do to you and your ass ever again". Scott just opened the door and the pack began to get out laughing their asses off, "Like I don't even want to know how half that shit is even possible". And then the little bastard just walked away.

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After picking up some shopping from the grocery store including a new lamp and table for the hall from a near by furniture store I headed over to the preserve. I shifted into my full wolf form and began running through the woods scenting and looking out for any supernatural creatures looking for trouble. I came up to the lake and bent my head to take a drink when I saw a familiar figure in the water and began to growl. The man surfaced a bit more obviously looking to talk and I shifted into my Beta form so I was able to communicate back, "You again". Water dripped from the mans blue hair as he tipped his head slightly, "Alpha Hale". My voice was a growl in my Beta form, "I thought I told you to leave, you are trespassing on Hale land". The Merman's smile turned gruesome showing his razor sharp teeth, "You see that's the think Hale, I want this lake and an area of the surrounding wood for my pixie counter parts", his voice was the same as the last meeting sharp and slick, metallic like. I growled at the Merman's demand, he thought he could just clame my land.

"I believe you are mistaken, now leave my land or face consequences", his grin just twisted further, "Believe me Alpha, if I don't get this land there will be consequences that you will have to face not me". Another growl erupted from me and the Merman began to sink back into the water his elongated finger nail clinking together as they wrapped around the shaft of his trident. "You have until Sunday, the day after the full moon to get the hell out of this lake and Beacon Hills before my pack and I come and rip you to shreds". I was met with as metallic laugh that died out as the Merman sunk below that dark waters. I stood and watched the pool for a bit longer before shifting back into full wolf and galloping back to my clothes that where hidden in a tree trunk near the mini-van. Once dressed and back in the mini-van I looked at the time to see I only had an hour until I had to go and pick up the pups and the school was about 20 minutes away. I turned on the radio and headed into town and grabbed a coffee to drink while I sat in the van and read a book to wait the remaining now 20 minutes before school was out. I managed to read quite a few chapters of the book before the shrill ringing of the bell met my ears. I had hated that noise so much when I was in school, it was the worst for sensitive ears. The pack came flooding out of the door looking half exited to get home and half spent from their day at school.

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The pack where chatting away happily in the back of the van as I pulled up to the pack house and they all started to unload from the van waiting for each other before all walking together towards the door that led into the house. "Do you smell that?" Erica questioned stopping all conversation before Scott had a chance to open the door. Isaac sniffed the air once then his face lit up, "Cookies!", that pup was so adorably sweet sometimes it felt like I would get diabetes from him. Scott smiled at his mate and twisted the door nob and pushing it open and heading to the kitchen. The smell of cookies was amazing and where coming from a large tin of chocolate chip deliciousness on the kitchen table. I smiled at the plate and Lydia trotted up to them plucking a post it of the top, and read it out loud, "Dig in, be down later, will be in the music room - S x". Lydia's red lips curved into a smile and she plucked a cookie from the pile. She experimentally bit into it and came back with a look of shock, "Oh. My. God.", she picked up three more cookies and walked over to a stool perching on the edge of the chair and nibbling the cookies much like a little red headed hamster, which was surprisingly un-Lydia like. The rest of the pack followed her example all digging into at least three cookies if not more and I may on my not have about five myself. Everyone was laughing lightly and we began to migrate towards the living room so we could hang and I could tell them about or little mer problem when Boyd stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs and I stopped to look back at him along with everyone else. "What Boyd?" Erica asks a laugh still on her lips from something Allison said to her. His face was clouded with confusion for a moment before he shook his head, "Does anyone else here that?". Everyone fell silent and cocked their heads as if to get a better listen into whatever it was, even Lydia and Allison had their head cocked in wonder and curiosity.

There it was the very, very faint sound of strumming and something else that was muffled by walls and flooring and the rest of the building around us. A smile spread across Scott's face and it was so wide I thought that it might cause his cheeks to split open. "I can't believe it, he's actually playing again. I haven't heard him in years. Maybe even since his mom-". Then Scott got another even more curious look on his face, "Do you think... can anyone hear him singing", Scott paused, "I haven't heard him sing since well before puberty and it used to be so nice, I wonder what he sounds like now.". Scott had a look of longing on his face, a longing for his best friend, want for Stiles to be able to do something that he used to love, something that linked him to his Mother. The look was still on his face as he began to walk up the stair towards the second floor and with out much hesitation the rest of the pack followed. I walked at the back of the group as we walked letting the curiosity wash over me as the music became louder.

As we reached the door the music was a bit louder and it was now definite that Stiles was singing when the deep melodic tone was coming from behind the door but too muffled to really make out anything. Scott put the palm of his hand against the wood of the door as if he was reaching out to give his best friend a supportive hand on the back. From behind me Allison hissed, "Wow, he sound like he is really good", All I could do was nod in agreement. Erica added her own opinion in a similar hiss, "I know. It's so hot", I started to nod my head then realised my head movement had caught the attention of the rest of the pack who smirked at me as I ducked my Head and blushed so hard it felt like my face might fall off. The last notes of the song drew our attention back to the door and we heard Stiles pick something up and take a few deep breaths that didn't sound strained so I was not worried. There was a couple more shuffling sounds and I looked over at Scott who seamed like he was having an internal war whether he should open the door or not. I nodded towards him and he took a deep breath before slowly starting to put pressure on the door with the palm of his hand. He stopped in his place when the strumming started up again and Stiles started to play another song.

We waited at the door but once Stiles had played a few notes Scott made up his mind and pushed the door open the rest of the way. Stiles was sat at the window huddled onto the bench facing out to the woods behind him. The pack all crowded on the red rug opposite him cuddled together and listened to him plucking away and his beautiful singing. His voice was wonderful, not too deep but still slightly husky and all kinds of sexy. His long elegant fingers where not trembling for what seamed to be the first time in forever as he plucked at the strings and played different notes perfectly. And the song. Oh the song. It was both sad and happy and almost familiar. I realised that it was not the song that sounded familiar, I had never heard it or even seen the lyrics but it was the story behind the words.

I looked at the pack who where all engrossed in what Stiles was playing. They all had slight smiles on their lips and looks of awe on their faces, Lydia, Erica and Jackson even had a couple of tears dripping down their faces. If Jackson ever says that he is a man with no emotions he is bull shitting, just to make that clear. Stiles Voice went along perfectly with his playing and he looked so relaxed and content that I wanted to stay in this moment in time forever and cherish it forever. With the sun setting behind him Stiles looked like a perfect painting or picture of sereneness. I looked over to Cora who had shifted to reach her phone and obviously had the same thought as me as she lifted up the phone and snapped a picture then her eyes met mine and she winked at me. I smiled to her and she beamed back. The song came to an end and Stiles just sat there for a moment looking out the window at the darkening tree line and the gleaming lake in the clearing. He let out a deep relax breath and he looked more peaceful than I thought that I had saw Stiles in a long time, maybe even the most relaxed I had seen him ever, I was amazed. Stiles then flicked the guitar round to his back so the strap got caught slightly in this shirt and exposed a strip of pale skin and four dark brown moles and almost had me drooling. He picked up a glass of water and took a sip just as his eyes met us sitting on the floor quietly looking at him. Stiles choked on the mouthful of water and ended spitting it out all over Jackson and Isaac who where sitting closest to him.

"OH MY GOD, YOU ALL NEED BLOODY BELLS". He clutched above his heart that had began to calm down from it's fast escalation from surprise only moments ago. Erica was the one who broke the silence by laughing in Jackson's face then turning to Stiles and squealing, "OMG you are AMAZING!", she then proceeded to wiggle her eye brows and ask, "Do you sign breasts?". Boyd elbowed his mate in the side playfully and Erica rolled her eyes at him before kissing his cheek and murmuring in his ear. Everyone expressed their amazement to a blushing and flustered Stiles who looked like he was doing an impression of a fish out of water for a good five minutes. It looked like Stiles was beginning to feel a bit over whelmed by the way he shrunk into himself and I chose this as my moment to speak up. "Right pups, down stairs. Pizza for tea, Boyd you sort that. Everyone else homework then relax before we have a pack meeting, I need to talk to you about something.". I received a lot of well and slightly creepy synchronised nods before the pups all filled out of the room in a line of excitement, sometimes they really where just like bouncy puppies. I turned around to find Stiles moving towards the guitar stand to put it away and watched as he positioned it carefully as if it might break at the slightest movement.

I realised I must have been staring and lost in the moment when Stiles announced, "What do I have something on my face?" before dragging his hand down his face. "huh, what?... Oh right no I was just... nothing, nothing.", even in my own ears I sounded needy and desperate it was kind of pathetic but I had a wonderful talented mate... who didn't know he was my mate or that I loved him but still wonderful and talented mate. "Ummm... you are... that was amazing", I scratched the back of my head nervously and realised I must sound like a twelve year-old talking to their first crush. Stiles just mumbled a thanks and ducked his head to hide the deeper crimson that spread across his cheeks. I cleared my throat, "Well come on then Mr Musician, I don't trust them to not make a mess unsupervised". I smiled at him and the corners of his lips turned up slightly in answer. One day I would get that beautiful shit-eating grin back again. He began to walk to the door and I picked up a couple of strides so I was walking beside him. As we walked down the hall in a comfortable silence I smiled to my self and relished in the feeling of our arms or hand occasionally brushing that left behind the lingering feel of Stiles against me and fluttering in my stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope You enjoyed! Sorry I haven't updated recently, I have just started sitting my exams. 
> 
> Links to songs:  
> https://youtu.be/xOj40i-QSiQ - Elastic heart cover by All Time Low The BBC 1 Live Lounge (Song they hear while coming up the stairs)  
> https://youtu.be/CswixInF0qE - Kids in the Dark by All Time Low The BBC 1 Live Lounge (Song they hear Stiles fully perform)


	19. School... pffft - (Stiles' POV)

The morning of Friday the 27th of October found the pups of the pack waking up and doing their usual morning routine but this time to find me sitting at the kitchen counter on one of the tall stools staring at my phone as if waiting for it to ring. I was watching my phone so intently that I did not notice that the pack had woken up until Derek came up to me and gentle put a hand on my shoulder to shake me. "-iles", his words where only half finished and I realised that he had probably been trying to talk to me. "Huh, I mean yeah?". The look Derek gave me was an odd mix of concern and care. "I said, You okay there Stiles?", I shook my head a little to get rid of the left over fuzziness clinging like cob webs. "Oh, uh, yeah I'm fine", I cursed myself at how weak and shaking my voice sounded even though I should feel better, I was safe now, I was meant to be returning to my older version of myself, I was meant to be able to build my walls back up and reconstruct my mask. I was afraid that they had crumbled to a dust that I would not be able to rebuild from.

"-i, Sti, Stiles", I cursed myself again for zoning out on him. "Yeah, sorry zoned out a little". Derek gave me a small smile and I tried to ignore the worried look that was shot my way from Lydia. "Just asked what you wanted to do today, and was wondering if you are wanting to have a go at school next week?". My eyes flicked back to the phone sitting on the counter next to a cup of coffee that had now stopped steaming. I felt my heart skip a little and speed up a tiny bit. This of course got the wolves attention towards me because I just had to live with God dammed werewolves. "I... I ummm, how do I put this. I am waiting for a phone call but after that I will get back to you on that last one?", it sounded like more of a question than I wanted it to but Derek just nodded, "Sure, now plan for today?". What where my plans for today, what did I have to do. I wasn't completely sure but there was some things that I had to do, the rest I was just planning on winging. "I have to go and see my mom" I announced and I saw the pack freeze in whatever they where doing. "Sti-", I cut Scott off. "No, I have to go and see her, I didn't go on Tuesday because da-", I choked on the next word, "because we used to go together in the evening but I um.. I obviously didn't go so I have to go and see her." Scott just nodded in my direction and the rest of the pack just gave me sympathetic looks that made me feel slightly sick to my stomach. "Well do you want to help drop the pups off at school and then we can go past a store to get some flowers?, Derek's voice was gentle and soothing much like the hand that was rubbing soft circles into my arm that I was only just realising was gently comforting me. I smiled up to him and nodded as the others continued to go about their business getting ready for the day ahead of them at Beacon Hills High.

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When the pups where all ready we where away to leave (quite a bit earlier then usual due to the excitement to get Friday over and get ready for the full moon) and we where heading to the door when my phone began to ring in my pocket and I moved the fastst that I had in what felt like years surprising some of the pack who stopped walking and raised an eyebrow (namely the three Hale's, Erica, Jackson, Lydia and Allison). "Hello?" I answered. "Is this M... Mi..." , I sighed, no one could ever pronounce my name. "Yeah I go by Stiles, Stiles Stilinski" I forced down bile as I said my last name and hoped the woman on the other end would not hear it. At the confusion over my first name Peter's eyebrow shot up further and I choked a laugh at the almost comic look. "Right well Stiles, we have your results here at the school and another your other three letters from Oxford, Stanford and one that appears to be from... Japan?" , The woman's voice seamed to question that last one but I found myself nodding before realising that she could not see me and then eventually replied, "Yeah of course I will come and get them straight away, thanks you" With one final chatter of conformation I hung up the phone to the woman muttering "How the hell is that even a name?" to herself. I turned back to the pack who where all staring at me with tipped heads like little questioning puppies, I almost cooed and would have if I hadn't felt like puking with nervousness. I broke the silence with, "Right so who's coming in the jeep." I was met with silence.

Lydia of course was the one to break it, "Well would you like to explain what that was?". I blushed a bit and dipped my head bringing my hand up to rub at the back of my neck. "Ummm... well you see... I have like kind of taken all my exams earlier, like at the start of the year and finally the results are here. Oh and seams like I have heard back from three of the collages and universities that I talked to about doing a mix of online and visiting courses, so like fingers crossed. Oh and the fact that if I have done well I don't have to go back to school and will get to graduate earlier. And then the office lady at the school, her name is Lauren you know, no one ever really pays attention to her of course and well we speak when I pass in school but you know haven't really gotten to phone speaking terms so it was a bit awkward and she is really nice. Her husbands name is Mike and her son is called Noah after her Grandfather, they have a dog named Toffee and a cat name Fudge which I think is super cute. She also can't pronounce my first name but I mean who can. My mom could pronounce it and I guess her side of the family would have been able to and so can I kind of... considering it is polish and that was like my first language. Does it count as my first language because I was learning it at the same time I was learning English and at one point I knew more of it first than I did English so what do you guys think?"

I eventually took a breath and looked up to see the gaping looks of my pack... I think I may have broken them. Before I started to really get worried that I had fried some important wolfie brain cells all their gapping fish-like mouths turned into wide grins and I tilted my head in confusion. Erica was the first to speak, "That is like the most you have said in months. You nervous rambled again!" Her high pitch squeal made it sound like that was a good thing. Derek spoke up next, his grin was a bit bigger than everyone else's and it kind of struck me just then and there how much more happy and open the Alpha was from that first time meeting him in the woods and even from the years knowing him, I mean we had all matured and grown up now all being 18/19 year-olds not just some bratty teens, and of course Peter no longer had the whole psycho killer thing going for him. "Come on the Stiles, lets go pick up your results when we drop the pups off then we can go see your mom". There was something in Derek's voice, it might have been pride but I wasn't sure, either way I nodded to him and smiled slightly, I swear no matter what my brain attacks me with or what other people say or do to me Derek will some how always make me smile. And I think I might be in love with that, in love with him. There I said it, I am in love with Derek Hale. I tried not to let this thought throw me as we began to walk again out the door with Lydia just muttering, "Stanford and oxford. Freeking Stanford and Oxford!" and trying not to laugh when Scott said "Wait I thought that your first name started with s and that is where Stiles came from?" only to have Jackson exclaim about how stupid that would be and make a big fuss about not knowing what his best friends name. I opened the front door and felt more comfortable than I had in years heading to Beacon Hills High school with the calming voices of my friend behind me and the sassy retort of Scott to Jackson of "Oh please like a best friends name could be any easier than Danny, you have it easy!"

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It was 7:33 am when the cars pulled up to the building that I personally thought was owned by Lucifer himself. I was sitting in the passenger seat of the Camaro next to Derek as we pulled up, I took a deep breath when the wheels of the Camaro rolled to a stop and Derek pulled the break on the car. He looked over at me and gave me a small smile, I gave him a small nod to say I was okay. We got out of the car just after Cora and Allison had and we began walking out to the other waiting for us on the pavement. They all smiled as I walked towards them Derek close to my side and Allison and Cora walking slightly ahead to the left. Together we began to walk up the path to the school entrance and I could feel all eyes turn to me and stare. I guess people had noticed my absence over the past week. Maybe they missed their punching bag. I dipped my head hoping not to make eye contact with anyone as if I might go back to just disappearing into the high school cloud. Whispers and snickers and laughs followed us as we walked up to the school, it seamed to be taking forever, like time was being stretched out. That was until we hit the top of the steps where time slowed dramatically. Jason and his gang appeared before me.

"Hey Freak, I see your back." Jason sneered form his place leaning against the wall with a arm draped around some brunette. Beside me I heard a low quiet growl from Derek and looked up at him to try and convey the 'please don't rip his throat out with your teeth' look. It was Scott who answered the jock, "Jason, I would suggest you leave Stiles the fuck alone before someone, who coincidently looks a lot like you gets hurt". Jason looked at Scott and just gave him a mischievous smirk. He began to walk towards us a bit more, his attention focused solely on me, "I see the FREAK" the word was followed by slight spit that landed on my face causing me to scrunch my features in disgust, "has made some friends", he looked over at Derek who was glaring back at him with a look that should have sent Jason 6ft under. "Oh, and a bodyguard" Jason chuckled. At that Derek's growl got slightly louder and he began to curl his hands into fists. The last thing I needed was to have Derek punching Jason with supernatural strength. The guy was a dick but I could fight my own battles. I straightened my spine and grabbed Derek's hand to calm him down rubbing my thumb over his knuckles to try and get him to relax. Jason chuckled, "See Stilinski" I flinched at my last name. "I always knew you where a fag". I gave Derek's hand a tight squeeze, 1) to get him to calm down again and 2) to try and tell him I could handle this on my own. I am guessing he got the message when he relaxed and let go of my hand lifting his now free hand to signal to the pack to stay put from where they all looked like they where going to pounce. Now everyone was looking at me. "Go away Jason I am just here to pick something out of the office and Derek happened to be nice enough to give my friends and I a lift. So if you please I would like to get past so you don't have to see my face much longer".

Jason looked a little taken a back, he sputtered a little bit but ultimately chose to go with, "Ohhhh little Stilinski has found his voice." His statement caused giggles and snickers to erupt from the crowd behind him even though his words sounded like he was asking a question more than making a threat. I just levelled my shoulders and tipped my chin up... not today Jason, not today. "I suppose I have", slightly to my surprise my voice sounded strong and confident and it did not waver in the slightest. Jason just stood there mouth slightly a gap, if I had not been so focused on getting to the office with out incident I might have laughed at his resemblance to a fish. "Now if you exclude me Trent". I pushed past the stunned boy and the force mixed with his shock sent him sprawling on his ass. I kept my chin up and ignored the squealing of Trent's brunette side piece as I headed through the doors of the school the pack following close behind me. From the corner of my eye I saw Boyd and Scott high five as Scott whisper shouted, "Dude that was AWSOME! Did you see his face!".  We continued to the office and I stopped at the blue doors that led through to them. I took a deep controlling breath and looked over to Derek who gently picked up my hand and gave it a small squeeze before letting go and pushing open the door to let me through. I gave him a small smile and told them to wait as I walked towards the desk to pick up my future in the form of four envelopes.

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I walked back out into the corridor where my friends where waiting to be met with eager faces filled with questioning and wonderment. "Well, what's the story little red?" Pushed Lydia. "They... like... oh my god", is all I managed to get out. "Well then you obviously didn't pass English." Lydia joked. I just looked at her then back down at the to envelope that held my results the messy rip at the top exposing the line border of a grade certificate.  Then back to Lydia. Then the certificate. Jackson quite obviously had had enough and plucked all four envelopes out of my hands and started pulling out the certificates then placing it on top of its discarded envelope so he could see the marks clearly. "How in the living hell!" All I could do was half nod in agreement and half shake my head in disbelief at myself. Lydia was next to snatch up the certificate and her eyes widened at my results. She then quickly opened the other three envelopes and her eyes got comically wide. Lydia then did something so un-Lydia-like I felt I needed to bring up the whole 'are you sure your not crazy Lydia' thing. I watched as Lydia Martin let out a high pitched girly squeal and walked over to me placing a light kiss on each of my cheeks and clapping enthusiastically before repeating how she was proud, oh so proud of me. I thanked her with a small smile and looked back at the pack who where either reading my letters, Looking at Lydia with a mixture of worry and terror or looking at me in complete awe. It was kind of unnerving.

"So, where are you going to go?", Lydia was exploding with excitement. I took a moment to answer still trying to get my head around the fact that I didn't have to be miserable due to forcing myself to come to Beacon Hills High School for the remainder of Senior year. "Umm well, I think I will accept the main studies online with Stanford, I had an arrangement with the lecturers there that I would need to have lectures with and do projects for him from Beacon Hills which we can do over skype an email. But I was also speaking to the head of department for physics at Oxford and he said he would love to work along side me on some ground breaking projects even if I don't accept to take the courses there, he even said he would pay me so I guess I will be doing that." Everyone just kind of looked at me. And looked at me. And still looked at me. I cleared my throat and suggested that Derek and I possible get going before the bell goes. We begin to walk towards the exit of the school followed by the pups so they can say bye to us before we leave to go see my mom.  All the way Lydia muttered on about the rarity of someone getting 100% on all exams and extra credit on top of all of that. If I had to say I would think she was more exited about it that me. And that was saying something. The pups stayed at the entrance of the school as me and Derek walked back to the Camaro.

Of course half way down Lydia had to go shout, "Have a nice day Stanford boy" sending me a wink and then everyone's attention was on me as I walked to a flash car with a hot man. And well this was different. The stares and the whispers had no trace of the word freak or fag and they where certainly not degrading, well most of them. I couldn't help but let a small smile spread over my lips as I climbed into the Camaro. Derek put on his seat belt then turned to me and smiled, "I am proud of you Stiles", my smile got a little bit bigger and which made Derek beam back at me before turning out of the parking lot and heading into town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	20. What do I mean to you? - (Derek's POV)

The car ride to the graveyard was surprisingly comfortable. The radio was playing soft music so it wasn't deafeningly silent and the car was filled with the sent of the flowers we had bought for Stiles' mom and his scent. I smiled to myself as I took and deep inhale of his scent. The scent of cut grass and warm cookies had been turned up and less soured by sadness and anxiety as he continued to stare at the letters in his lap, occasionally running his fingers along the seam to make sure they where real. His scent didn't sharpen with the depressed tinge as we arrived at the graveyard only slightly peaking with a different sort of sadness and an intangible longing. I turned off the engine and turned to the young man in the passenger seat beside me. I tried to give him the gentlest smile that I could, "You ready?". He gave me a small sad smile in return and nodded his head before getting out of the car unfolding his Leith frame with the envelopes still clutched in his long fingers. I got out of the Camaro and grabbed the flowers before meeting him around the back of the black car and locking the doors before grabbing his free hand hanging beside his side and twisting our fingers together. His eyes flicked up to meet mine and I tried to make the look in them express how I was there for him, how I was never going to leave. Another sad smile was present on his face as the corners of his lips turned up slightly. I gave his slightly colder hand a tugged him towards the entrance.

The graveyard was completely empty but then again it was like 10am on a weekday and most where at work or school. The cold October air rippled though the trees and sent their leaves floating to the ground in swirls of reds and oranges. Stiles stepped closer into my side and suppressed a slight shiver and another gentle wind billowed through the graveyard. His cheeks where dusted with a shining red from the nip of the air that travelled over his upturned nose, I tried to suppress an endearing chuckle as the shade almost matched the red jacket that he was wearing hugged tight around his frame. Stiles was leading the way with sure-footedness to a grave near the back of the graveyard to the right only two rows away from the Hale crypt, a larger stone building in the far right corner with a strong black door at the front with the triskalion carved into the visible wall and the bold door. We come to a stop and my head snaps away from where most of my family lie to a small grave stone.

'Claudia Stilinski

1973 - 2004

Loving Wife, Daughter and Mother

nigdy nie zapomnę'

We stood there just looking down at the grave, it was like any other grave in the row. A grey slab with gently smoothed out edges around the top. The only thing apart from the writing on it that made it different was a flower that had been engraved up the right hand side. It was beautiful but... "Stiles?". I turned to face him and he was just looking over the words again and again as if they might change the longer he looked at them. "Hmmm" was his only response. "Is that flower... is it wolfs bane?". His eyes met mine, confused, then back at the grave, then back at me. His head then whipped back to the grave and his whiskey brown eyes widened almost comically. "I... I just thought... I just thought that is was a flower she used to like?". I tiled my head in confusion and studies the plant on the stone, it was wolfs bane, it had to be. "Why would my mom have wolfs bane carved into her grave?". I could see the confusion and slight panic swim in his eyes as they filled with worry and fright. I bent forward and placed the flowers onto the section of grass in front of the stone. Instead of straightening back up I sat down and pulled Stiles down with me. He landed beside me looking confused and let out a huff before pressing up to my side so he didn't freeze.

"Hi Mrs Stilinski, It's nice to meet you", Stiles squeezed my hand and looked at me questioningly but had a small smile. "Stiles and his... the sheriff didn't talk too much about you but I can understand how painful it can be to talk about family who are gone." Stiles squeezed my hand again and I looked at him again before continuing. "You should see your son now. He is amazing and so talented, like his voice when he is singing is insane and the way he can play a guitar with so much passion. My family where all musical so I can really appreciate it. He is so unbelievably smart like with his school mark and the research he does for my pack." I turned to Stiles to see him sitting with an awed expression staring at me, his cheeks and the tips of his ears where pink I don't think it was from the cold. "You did tell her about werewolf right?" He just nods his head in disbelieving conformation. "Great. Well that a whole other thing the way he looks after the pups, he is so selfless and so caring even when we where so terrible to him and didn't see how much he was hurting and blaming himself for things he shouldn't". At this Stiles tries to protest but I squeeze his hand and give him a small shake of the head to try and get him to let me finish, he must get the message cause he stops and waits for me to continue. I collect my breathe again and release it again before saying, "He is so strong, the strongest human or were or whatever supernatural being you can think of that I have ever met. And I just want to thank you for giving him to us because honestly Stiles is too good for us or anyone else in this town." I say all of this looking right into the shining whisky eyes of the young man beside me and revel in the feeling I get when they become that little bit more brighter and a lot more wider. After I finish we just sit there in silence looking at each other, holding hands and pressed side to side. His slight warmth is reassuring and his scent is mixed with the cool crisp air, the falling leaves swirling around us and everything is so quite and peaceful it would be lonely if I didn't have Stiles beside me.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Before heading home I pull into the parking lot of the dinner that the pack having been going to on a regular basis since the formation of the whole pack during the alpha pack, where they came together and then decided they made quite the team. In the dinner the girl behind the counter smiles a wide and shining smile when her eyes set on Stiles. Relief and worry almost pours out of her face as she waves the two of them over to the booth where the pack usually sit, she is very clearly relieved that Stiles is now at the dinner with a friend, with another human (well..) that she can see is caring for him and obviously not getting the shit kicked out of him by some bully. I almost forget that Stiles and I are attached at the hands but am reminded when there is a small tug as Stiles tries to lead me over to the booth keeping his eyes down as we pass the other customers in the dinner.

Once seated in the booth tucked together at the thankfully circular table so we can be pressed together for comfort and looking at each other slightly at the same time. "What do you feel like you could eat?" I ask and I can feel a hopeful smile curl on my lips. "Ummm, I am not sure" he shrugs and his heart doesn't even skip a beat, he honestly doesn't know. "Well I could go for a milkshake and some fries", this is responded to with a determined nod. "I... I think I will have a milkshake", I try to push away a massive grin which I mostly achieve as it only comes out as a gentle smile. "Great, I will go and order. What flavour?". He keeps his eyes trained to the napkin holder in the middle of the table and replies, "Vanilla please". I squeeze his hand and his eyes meet mine, I give him one last beaming smile before I stand and squeeze his hand one more time before walking up to the counter and the beaming waitress who smiles knowing between Stiles and I.

After ordering the milkshakes and fries I return to the table to find a slightly shaky Stiles staring down at this twisting fingers in his lap. To try and calm him I slip a hand in what I hope is a soothing gesture to the back of his neck and feel the silky hair at his nape before slipping back next to him in the seat and reconnecting our hands running my thumb over the backs of his knuckles. His eyes flick to mine for what feels like the 20th time today. I smile at him and can see the look in his eyes like he wants to talk at the same time he really doesn't, the air doesn't smell bitterly of harsh sadness just the sadness that I relate to his mother. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. How about I speak?". Stiles just nods his head and I take a deep breathe and for the first time in what feels like forever I talk about them. About my family.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

I am half way through telling the story of how when I was seven Laura had convinced me to climb the tallest tree in a three mile radius of the house only for me to get stuck. I was describing how there was a squirrel watching me on one of the parallel branches and how I swear it was laughing at me when Stiles barks out a laugh and I stop and just watch as the boy in front of me folds over huffing out breaths of laughter. Stiles finishes his laugher and wipes at the tears of laughter that had fallen down his pale cheeks. His eyes meet mine and I want to think that a little tiny bit more of that brightness has seeped back into them. He looks at me questioningly, "What? Why are you staring at me for?". I am slightly glad that the booth that the pack sit in is circular and tucked in the corner giving the illusion of privacy so no one currently in the dinner can see us as I tip my head forward and capture his lips in a sweet long kiss.

Stiles lips are cool and the slightly upturned corners taste salty from the tears that had previously been rolling down his face. The kiss is closed mouth but that all changes when a slick tongue runs over my bottom lip curiously, I grin against his mouth and then open mine. The next time his curious tongue comes to meet my lip Stiles is caught by surprize by my tongue swiping along his, the gasp of surprise he lets out makes my wolf yelp with happiness and just as I can feel him going in for another swipe a throat clears and we burst apart staring guiltily up at the waitress who just beams at us before giving as our order and striding away with a wink and matching smirk. Stiles clears his throat and pulls the milkshake towards him obviously to do something with his hands. Shaking my head slightly I snake one of our hands together before taking a slurp of my milkshake and starting a conversation about music which is mainly one sided but I still manage to get Stiles to talk and even smiles a little more at me. They are still those little infuriating little smiles but I will deal with what I can get.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

When the dinner is behind us with only slight blushing on my part at the waitresses' surprising "Don't hurt him", while paying the check, we headed back to the Pack house and found our selves on my arm chair watching old reruns of NCIS. Stiles was tucked carefully into my side, his cheek pressed into my peck, one hand casually sprawled across my chest and our legs twisted together. When Stiles moves to reach for the controller I realised I have been rubbing conforming circles into the small of his back and almost whine as he stretches out of my grasp in order to swipe the controller and mute the TV. Stiles turns to me with a dead seriousness in his eyes which normally would be able to scare the shit out of anything, like with witches some time back when Stiles turned into what Scott calls his 'seriously serious scary mode' the hundreds-and-something-year-old actually winced, I find it still some what scary but also very much adorable. "Yes?", I ask. When Stiles replies it is in the most serious voice I have ever heard him, "What do I mean to you?". So many thoughts run through my head and I try to find the right one. "Everything" I answer him. "What so does this mean I am like your boyfriend or something now?", I can tell that Stiles is trying to be deadly serious but a small smile has cracked its way though. "No Stiles", he dips his head and all of a sudden finds the hem of his shirt really interesting. I push his head up to meet my eyes with two of my fingers and keep my palm on his cheek running my thumb along his jaw line. "Your my mate". I then look forward and kiss the surprised look on his face. When I pull back Stiles has a full on, face splitting, shit eating grin and as he leans back into me straddling my lap. Our lips connect and all I can see is that smile and think 'mission complete'. Then a tongue is running along my bottom lip and exploring my mouth, stroking against mine in a knee wobbling pattern and I can't think at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nawwwwwww, I can't believe I was actually able to write something as cute as that... I mean what is wrong with me~! Where was all the angst!


	21. Howl at the moon - (No POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for smut - this was my first time writing it so please don't judge me!

With Saturday came the full moon. Stiles was the first up in the Hale house, detangling himself from Derek's arms and out into the kitchen e-mailing Stanford and Oxford from 6am with a helpful cup of coffee, until 9am when the first of the pack (Allison) came down the stairs so he moved from the Kitchen counter to the living area curling into Derek's arm chair before continuing to talk with Professor Jamison at Oxford on the project that he would consult with him on. It starting the following Wednesday between projects and online classes at Stanford. The boy was so immersed in his e-mail chat with the professor and his lecturer from Stanford that it was only when the rest of the pack migrated into the room and he was nudged to make room for Derek that he had realised that anyone else apart from Allison was awake. He of course only greeted them with a huff, a small smile and a push of his glasses up his nose before he went beck to typing quickly about the reliability of a source that professor Jamison wanted to uses to help with the project out line.

"Good morning to you too Stiles" snarked Jackson. His response was Stiles getting up, placing his laptop on Derek's lap and picking up his empty mug before muttering and grumbling about particle dynamics under his breath while walking to the kitchen and refilling his coffee mug. Boyd grabbed the TV remote and turned on Buffy before cuddling up into Erica who enthusiastically nuzzled back. The pack sat in peaceful quiet all apart from the noises of the TV and Stiles wondering about once leaving his coffee on the table beside Derek's chair to go rooting about in one of the boxes of his books that still had not been put into his study room yet. About three minutes later Stiles made a triumphant noise and pulled out a thick door step of a book that said something about accelerating particles in relation of quantum something or other. Lydia of course intrigued by this had to question one of the more unique additions into the pages, "Sti, what are all the post-it slips sticking out for?". Stiles furrowed his brows before looking at the book then back up at her, "Blue are necessary equations, Green are reliable experiments and sources and Orange are just things I found interesting." He shrugged. Isaac really wanted to ask what the hell the book was about if that much orange was being used but decided not to at the complete gibberish he was seeing on the cover. Stiles sat him self down bracketed between Derek's legs, this got an eye brow raise from Scott directed at Stiles who blushed furiously before opening his large book at a precise yet seemingly random page to everyone else and then promptly getting lost in its pages only occasionally coming back into the real world to take down notes or hum in approval/interest.

Peter chose this moment to turn back into his creepy (not creepy as in psychotic killer creepy) uncle-self. He turned to his nephew, "So you and Stiles then". It was a statement not a question and may it be put on record that Derek Hale, the Derek Hale, blushed like a catholic nun that has found herself walking in a strip joint and onto a rather enthusiast orgy porn shoot. "umm....". This sent Lydia, Allison, Cora, Erica and Isaac into fits of giggles and everyone to look to Stiles who was still deep in his book, tongue peeking out of his mouth and eyes furiously skimming the page, completely oblivious. "Yeah" Derek smiled down at Stiles. " He's my mate", everyone tried not to laugh at Scott's gaping mouth, "I knew you liked him but... MATES, holy shit!", he was staring quite dumfound at his best friend who was ferociously scribbling down a note. "Ughhhh" Peter groaned and looked up to the ceiling as if it held the answers to the universe. "Whyyyyyy, that means more people in this fucking house will smell of sex!" he complained. Everyone just laughed. Well apart from Stiles who sat innocently reading. And Scott. Scot fell off of the sofa.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The pack had spent the morning joking about and watching an assortment of movies, it was all quite casual and very relaxing. Times like this where when smiles could be seen sitting casually on Peter and Derek's faces and the rest of the pack knew that even though the two men where probably thinking of their deceased family they would never give up what they had managed to build back up. At half one Boyd and Peter when into town and picked up pastries from a cute little bakery owned by one of Peter's old in-the-know friends to go with the soup that Stiles had made them the previous day. When they came back with an abundance of sticky and crisp pastries in a box tied with a pretty little bow the pack all grabbed bowls of soup and sat all around the kitchen. Isaac, Scott, Erica and Boyd sat on one of the kitchen counters slurping at their seconds while listening and laughing along to Peter who was standing by a blushing Derek and a Cora who was doubled over with laughter while reciting an embracing story of one of the full moons while Derek was going through puberty. The three Hale's where propped up on the far wall of the kitchen next to the window with an open window seat that looked out into the back garden/large clearing of grass before dense wood where stiles was sat gnawing on a cheese sandwich that Derek had made him smiling when the younger man nodded determined at him before taking a cautious bite. Alison and Lydia sat with Jackson on the breakfast bar, the two girls talking about the pros and cons of sweater paws while Jackson cackled at the point in Peter's story when he described what Derek's howl sounded like when his voice cracked.

Three o'clock found Allison and Cora kicking Scott and Isaac's asses at COD, Lydia and Erica doing a sleeping Jackson's nails in a lovely scale patterned acrylic with lots of giggles and photographs, Stiles upstairs playing a melodic beat on his drums that carried through the whole house and Peter, Boyd and Derek playing go fish almost religiously on the coffee table in the living area. Soon the pack heard the beat stop and the sound of Stiles walking about up the stairs, the creaking of the door to his and Derek's room, some rummaging around and then the creek again before the noise of Stiles coming down stairs. A very disgruntled looking Stiles walked into the room and through into the kitchen where he placed a broken mug into the sink and stared at the three pieces before running the tap and cleaning the blood from a cut on his palm down the sink. His sent was coming off somewhere between panic and frustration and he was muttering furiously under his breathe while rubbing at a part of his hand. Scott looked over at Derek who just stood up and walked into the kitchen beside Stiles. "Stiles", Stiles continued to stare at his hand under the water even though most of the blood had been washed away. "Stiles hey, look at me", this time Stiles did look over to him, tears where pooling into the bottom of his eyes and Derek just said, "Hey, its okay let me deal with it".

Derek reached into the cupboard to the right above the sink and pulled out a medium sized green box with a white cross on it, from the first aid kit he brought out wipes and a plaster. Reaching over he turned off the tap and gently took Stiles' palm cushioning it on his own palm before wiping it and placing the plaster securely onto the cut. Locking eyes with Stiles he raised his hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss over the plaster on the cut. Stiles smiled at Derek then blinked to get rid of the tears and mouthed 'thank you'. As Stiles and Derek walked through the living area Lydia turned to Allison and half shouted "See Stiles is god dam adorable in Sweater paws! Point made, argument won!", she made a quite un-Lydia like flail towards Stiles and the maroon oversized sweater that he must have changed into which looked a lot like Derek's, Derek of course noticed this his eyes flashing red in pleasure at his mate wearing his clothes and caring his scent.

All the super naturals groaned as their eyes flashed in response to their Alpha, "Gees Derek control your wolf" sassed Peter. Derek levelled his Uncle with an unamused glare and replied nun too snarkely with, "Shut it Peter. It's my wolf's first full moon where I have my mate with me with the knowledge that they are my mate and not just-" Derek cut himself off before saying something else and the rest of the pack raised their eyebrows in scary synchronicity eager to hear the rest of the sentence. Stiles of course managed to catch their attention with a smirk and impossibly high eyebrows paired with an unamused look, "You mean not just my items of clothing like my favourite skinny jeans that I found folded in the bottom of your wardrobe, wait did I mention that they went missing around, oh I don't know, Two years ago".

Derek blushed and dipped his head while Peter and the majority of the pack burst into hysterical laughter. When Peter finally caught his breath he decided to contribute to Derek's embracement even further, "Oh Stiles remember that red hoodie that you had to replace?", "Peter" Derek growled out as warning. "Well" Peter continued, "super senses can be both a gift and a curse, I'm afraid after one full moon no matter how many times you wash it the smell of Derek will never come out, if you know what I mean". Peter honest to god winked, Cora just stared at her brother with horror written on her face, Lydia, Jackson, Erica, Boyd, Isaac and Allison fell back into side splitting laughter and Scott just sat with his head tilted like the confused little puppy that he is, "I'm confused, what did Derek do to Stiles' hoodie?". Peter cackled and made a hand gesture at Scott who promptly look horrified and stared at Derek with an equally horrified face as Cora. "Dude. What the f-"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

The rest of the day was filled with smiles and laughter and movies all backed by the melodic music that would start up sporadically through out the day when ever Stiles felt like letting out a tune. After a dinner of steaks (mainly rare as the werewolves felt closer to their wolf sides) and fries the pack went on what Stiles called the 'rampant run' or for the humans the 'wild walk'. This occurred on many of the full moon and new moon gatherings where the super naturals would 'wolf out' or 'scale up' ("really Stiles... scale up!") and run around in the woods for hours with the humans aka Allison, Stiles and Lydia walking about and just chatting or finding a nice area just to hang for a bit, that was until Stiles stopped coming to as many pack gathering and the pack where dicks and forgot to invite him, but now he was here and with the pack. He was safe and getting better. Hopefully.

It was 10pm when the pack migrated towards the house and pilled into the living area cuddled up on the various furniture through out the room watching yet another freeking movie. By the time the movie was half way though Peter had retreated to his room and the only people not making out with there significant other was Stiles & Derek and Lydia & Jackson. Derek reached over Stiles who shifted and readjusted himself where he was placed in Derek's lap to remain comfortable. He turned off the movie at which Lydia whined saying she was actually paying attention to it. "Right pups!", Derek spoke loudly. Erica & Boyd and Allison & Cora disconnected smoothly like normal people-ish things where as Scott and Isaac some how made the disconnect clumsy and almost fell off of the love seat they where perched on. They all looked up at their Alpha wide eyed apart from Stiles who watched in amusement of how the pups interacted with their Alpha as he continued, "Go to bed. And please close the doors to seal the sound proofing".

All of the pups leapt out of their seats and started to make their way to their respective rooms with hands or arms wrapped in the significant others' while laughing or giggling or sloppily kissing. By the look on Stiles' face it was one of the strangest things that he had ever witnessed, Derek looked at him and laughed before shouting, "Use contraception! All of you!". He turned to a quietly laughing Stiles and raised his eyebrows only to have Stiles double over in complete laughter. Derek just shook his head and started to clean up the room being joined by Stiles once he had gotten himself together. They worked together to collect all the dishes and rubbish from the room, put it all away and washed what needed to be washed then finished and looked at each other. "So..." Derek said. "Come on Der", Stiles reached out his hand and threaded his fingers through Derek's and then tugged on his hand gently guiding him towards the stairs. Derek could not stop his wolf from jumping up and down in hope that Stiles was thinking what he was thinking. They walked up stairs hands linked and down the corridor towards their room. Derek sighed when walking past Scott and Isaac's room before covering Stiles' eyes with his free hand and squeezing his eyes shut then letting go of Stiles' hand and closing the door. Not before there was a loud moan and harsh panting at which Stiles muttered "Bro ewww". Reconnecting their hands they continued down the hall towards their room.

Stiles opened the door and held it open for Derek who continued into the room stopping in the middle on the rug before the bed and turning back to Stiles who was closing the door behind them with a soft click. Stiles was the first to speak, "Did you really masturbate over my red hoodie?", and the little shit sounded half way to laughter. Derek was way too passed embaracement from the rest of the day to care, he just looked Stiles straight in the eyed and replied in a steady husky tone, "Yes". Stiles choked on the air and then let out a choked laugh, "Of course. I mean I think I get it" He took a step into the room. "You wanted to mark me with your scent so the next best thing was to mark something that smelt like me" He was half way to Derek now. Derek was nodding along to his words. "I mean its weird" Derek let out a whine, "but then what is really weird is how fucking cute I think that is". He was standing in front of Derek now and the older man took a deep breath and relished in the way the smell of Stiles just wrapped around him. "But do you know what is exceptionally weird?", Stiles whispered his face inches from Derek's, noses bumping and words almost brushing against Derek's lips. Derek shook his head as if asking the words he did not speak 'no Stiles, what is exceptionally weird?'. "How hot I find it" and with that Stiles kissed him.

The kiss was just a brush of the lips to start with but all the air felt like it rushed out of Derek's lungs so he had to, he just had to open his mouth and turn the kiss into something more hungry, more desperate, just more. Stiles' hands went up to Derek's sholders, he ran his palms across them continuing until he could entwine his hands around Derek's neck and tugged slightly at the soft hairs at his nape before dragging his hands up and tangling his fingers in the dark locks. Derek's hands went down instead of up, caressing Stiles' sides before tangling around his waist. Derek's thumbs found the loops on the waistband of Stiles' jeans and tudded them forward both intentionally and unintentionally hitting their hardening dicks together earning a deep groan from Stiles at the spark of pleasure that sent a tongue plunging into Derek's mouth.

Derek only realised that they had been moving when his legs hit the edge of the bed and then they where falling into the matress. Stiles' hands where back on his shoulders, bracing himself as they fell. Derek moved up the bed until he was met with the top all while still being attacted by the mouth to Stiles. He rested his back against the head board and then returned all of his concentration into kissing Stiles who was now stradling his lap. Stiles' hands came up on either side of his face and he carried on the deep kiss for a few minutes before pulling away panting. "Tell me that you are okay with this" Stiles breathed, "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that" and wow Derek sounded wrecked. "After everything that has happened in your past... I need you to say yes", whiskey coloured eyes met green and Derek's sharp intake of breathe sounded through the room, Derek then let out a moan, "You are fucking amazing Stiles, Fuck, after everything you still care so much, You just, You are perfect, Yes, oh god yes", it all came out of Derek in a broken rush and then their mouths where back in a frenzied lock of warm wetness and the older man promptly almost forgot his name. David? Daniel? Donald? Fuck it he really didn't care.

Stiles ground down on top on him and Derek whined as he felt his jean clad (and now getting on the verge of painful in these goddammed jeans) cock brush over Stiles' plump ass. Stiles moaned into his mouth and Derek felt the other mans errection scrape up his front and along his abs rumpling the fabric as it went. At that both men had come to a conclusion. Too much clothes. Stiles reached down and pulled at the black henly on the other man who just liffed his arms in response. Their lips disconected and the offending material was gone, thrown by Stiles some where into the darkness of the surrounding room. Derek attached his lips to Stiles neck and began sucking and licking and biting at the others neck. He nipped slightly harder and Stiles' resulting moan was pornagraphic. Okay note to Derek's brain, Biting is a thing. Soon Stiles Sweater was gone revealing the pale expance of Stiles' skin and just as the man was tensing Derek ran his fingers up his chest and breathed out, "You will always and have always been beautiful to me". To be honest Stiles looked like he was going to cry but not tears of sadness evident by the biggest bloody smile on his face that Derek hadn't seen in a long time.

Derek's hands where still sliding up Stiles chest when they suddenly stopped and Stiles was about to question the other man when he felt callosed fingers rub over one of his nipples. Of course the question was cut off by a rather loud moan and Stiles began asking himself why he had never considered his nipples when masterbating, those little dudes needed some much overdue attention. After a few more grindes the jeans where a serious problem and Derek was sure if they didn't get off like now he would forever have an imprinted zipper mark on his penis... and he did not want that. Some how with only minimal complications both pairs of jeans followed the tops into the darkness and the two men where now grinding against one another in their matching boxers briefs because of course Stiles had stolen his underwear when changing this morning. But those underwear where covering Stiles' dick which was rubbing against Derek's own cloth covered dick so Derek could not really find much to complain about.

It was all a mess of kissing and grinding and moaning. There was patches of precum making themselves known on the front of both of their underwear and well it was desided that those needed to go as well. With them both naked they stopped for a second gasping and panting. Derek looked wrecked, his hair jossled, face red, encreadly hard uncut 8 inches curving slightly to the left up towards his stomach ending in an angy red flushed tip, beads of precum dripping steadly out and the most surprising thing, for the first time in Derek's whole life he had hickies, dark bruises up his neck in the shape of bites and nips. Stiles on the other hand was a similar mess of ruffled hair and red face, a similarly hard sick curved up towards his stomach, slightly smaller than Derek's but still about 6.5 inches, fairly impressive and surprisingly thick. Derek had no idea that a dick could be described as cute but well he was weird. They both licked their lips and let out equal barks of laughter at their synchronicity.

"Der?" Stiles panted, "Babe?" Derek answered. "Oh nick name I like" Stiles smiled before adding, "Umm why does my ass feel wet... please say its some super natural shit and I don't have some problem with my ass". Derek barked out a laugh and shook his head. "A werewolf's mate whatever the gender can produce slick, it acts as a natural lubricant with special shit that takes the pain away from a knot", Stiles looked at him open mouthed. "You actually have a knot, huh go figure". Stiles gave him another open kiss before Derek pulled back and added, "There are special condom in the top drawer that make the knot less messy... if you ever wanted it". He looked down bashfully only to whip his head back up when a wrecked moan came form Stiles, "Yes, god yes".There was more kissing then Derek started to shuffle down the bed and then trailing kisses down Stiles neck, chest and Torso before coming to a stop near Stiles dick and smirkng up at him.

"Fuc-", Stiles broke off as Derek licked up his shaft and flicked his tonge over the head of his dick. Derek repeated this action a few more times before meeting Stiles' eyes again and sucking the head of his cock into his mouth. It was warm and wet and god. Stiles' moans where like twinkling bells, like those beautiful melodies carved into the music room doors, like the wonderful songs that he played. Just as calming and sexy as his singing voice and Derek could swear he was getting high off of it. One of Stiles' hands where wound in Derek hair. not pushing him on to his cock but just massaging ang teasing at the hairs there. From there it was moans and then groans when one of Derek's hands made its way to Stiles' ass and gently massaged his puckered hole before pushing through and fucking in and out with a 'come here' motion which was making Stiles' toes curl.

Derek pulled off of Stiles' dick with an obscene popping noise but remained fucking him with his fingers which had now graduated to two as he easily opened up due to the slick. "How... How to you want to do this", Derek pants his lips shiny with spit and eyes gleaming their human green with only small flecks of red flittering through on occasion. "I want to see you", Stiles moans squeezing his eyes shut as Derek's fingers hit his prostate. Derek let out a low sexy growl and easily flipped them so Stiles was on his back looking up at him through half lidded eyes. He reached a hand out (the one that was obviously not fucking Stiles senseless) and grabbed a condom from the drawer beside his bed. There crinkling of foil mixed with heavy breathing and moans then Derek was rolling the latex material over his dick and removing the three fingers that he had in Stiles. Stiles whined at the loss but bit back the protest and another thing was braced at his entrance the tip teasing at his rim.

Stiles let out a shaky breath and hooked his ankles around Derek's thighs and pulled causing Derek to slide into him smoothly. Praise whatever deity out there for whatever the hell that shit coming out his ass was because HOLY FUCK. Derek sunk into him being enveloped in the tight heat of his mate and groaned low in his throat. When he bottomed out he stopped and caught Stiles mouth in what could only be described in the filthiest of all filthy kisses. "Move, Oh God please-", Derek moved almost pulling all the way out before slowly pushing back in. He set an excruciatingly slow pace but his Stiles prostate every freeking time sending sparks of pleasure up the other man's spine. "Fuck... Derek...Fuckkkkk, there, oh my god faster, dam it faster" Stiles clawed with blunt human nails up Derek's back and moaned so loudly it was possible that even the sound proofing wouldn't stop the other from hearing as Derek picked up the pace so it was becoming brutal. "Stiles, shit, Oh my god, you are perfect, perfect mate. ughhhhhh, shit, love you so fucking much" Derek chanted as he all but fucked Stiles hard into the mattress.

Derek took Stiles' dick into his hand and stated to pump it in rhythm with his thrusts causing Stiles' vision to start to go white with pleasure, "Der... mhhhuh... so... so close" Stiles moaned. Derek flipped the over so that Stiles was on his hands and knees being drilled into by Derek from behind. Derek tightened his grip slightly on Stiles' dick and slammed into the younger man a few more times at this new angle before Stiles shouted out his name and came over Derek's hand and onto the comforter. Derek stroked him through his orgasm then moved his hands onto Stiles' hips and with three more thrusts felt the knot swell. Derek let out an honest to god howl and the knot popped locking into Stiles and streams of cum pouring into the special condom. Stiles let out another shot and came again as it locked into place. They both then collapsed onto the mattress.

Once feeling came back to Derek he shifted so that he had bundled up the cum splattered comforter and was able to throw it across the room. The scooted about only letting out slight mewling moans as he managed to move so he could pick up one of the blankets beside the bed and spread it over them while he spooned Stiles, which really they had no option on as they were locked together. "How long does this last?", Stiles questioned. "30 minutes to 2 hours", Derek said sounding bashful again. Stiles tipped his head back and gave Derek a chased kiss, "Okay", Stiles then leaned back against Derek's back and snuggled down.

Of course when they where just about to fall into post sex blissful sleep there was frantic knocking at the door. "Whatttt!" Derek groaned as the door cracked open and Lydia's head popped round the corner, "We all heard a howl through the bond and the fucking sound proofing, are you oka-", she them say what was above the covers. A rather wrecked and very much sexed out Stiles and Derek spooning... thank the gods she had not seen any more cause awkward. "You made him howl", she said incredulously. "You bet I did" grinned Stiles and from the behind Lydia a bunch of "dude"s (mainly Scott) and "Yassss Stiles"s(Erica and Allison) where heard before Lydia said "Well then we will just leave you knowing you are not actually in mortal peril. BTW next time Stiles try not to make him howl. Wouldn't want to catch you two in a more compromising position" She winked at them and they heard Erica shout, "No text me next time, I bet it would be so hot!", before the door closed they heard Boyd sigh and say "Come on babe I want to actually sleep before dawn breaks" and then the door was closed the sound proofing closed the room off to only their soothing breathing.

They kissed once more then Stiles was pulled impossibly closer into Derek's chest and Derek's head was bowed into the space where his neck and shoulder met. Stiles fell asleep to a warm werewolf wrapped around him and a steady beating heart that he could feel through Derek's chest pressed against his back. He woke up to the same feeling and was slightly surprised when Derek pulled out of him all those hours later that is was really not that awkward or uncomfortable. His only voiced opinion was when Derek ties of the condom which pretty much looked like a surprisingly large bag of cum, "Dude, that is a shit tone of cum", he lifted his gaze to Derek who just chuckled at his wide eyed expression before kissing the tip of his nose and padding into the en-suit to dispose of the thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Maybe? Hopefully? *Hides behind bush*  
> *Whisper shouts from behind bush* One more chapter to go! It is like one of my favourite ones that I have written so I am supper exited to share it with you!


	22. By daylight - (Stiles' POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *emerges from hiding spot*  
> "Well here it goes the last chapter!"  
> *Hides again, in a whisper*  
> "Please don't hurt me"

Breakfast after the night of the full moon used to be a extravagant affair, before. I was determined to make it one again. After finally rolling out of bed and having a shower Derek and I got dresses and made our way down to the kitchen. Derek went off to go and wake up the rest of the pack with hopefully minimal mental scaring while I started cooking eggs (scrambled for Izzy of course), bacon, sausages, tomatoes, mushrooms and pancakes. Just as I was scrambling the eggs for Izzy I felt two arms wind around my waist and a warm hand slip up the front of my shirt spanning along my stomach. A pair of lips brushed against my neck followed by stubble as Derek nuzzled there as he drapped in a line against my back. I could feel the snuffing against my neck as he sniffed me and let out a soft giggle. "Down boy" I swatted at his ass with the spatula and found that we had an audience when Cora whined out, "Dude your cooking us food with that!". Derek let out a low and non threatening growl that almost sounded like a purr and I chuckled. "Go set the table you over sized teddy bear!", from the direction of the living area came a very Peter sounding chuckle and Derek's hand ran up my chest before tweaking my right nipple then he was gone in the direction of the dining table. Lydia came up beside me to pick up one of the finished serving plates of food on the hot plate next to the oven keeping warm to take to the dining table. She lowly whisper shouted at me "What the hell did you do to him last night! He seams completely blissed out!". I just turned and looked over my solder at her to smirk, "Oh my god, you two are some where between hot and sickeningly sweet, it's disgusting", she walked away with a beaming smile and swaying hips.

The pack wolfed (hehe wolfed) down their breakfast like... well like a pack of dogs. Jackson did not appreciate the comment about tongues and flies. In between bites and moans the pack would let out little gasps of, "Oh my god so good!", "Ughhhh Stiles how the hell do you even make pancakes like this!" and "This should be illegal!". I tried to duck my head and push down the blush on my checks as I gnawed on my toast. Derek didn't express his thanks with noises but with a hand the ran up and down my thigh in a smooth and comforting gesture that was turning into something that will cause a scent that the rest of the pack will not appreciate so I laid a hand on top of his and twisted our fingers together resting them on my thigh. I turned to look at his face to see a small smile there and as if catching me looking he starts to rub his thumb across the back of my hand in slow circles. I take another bit of my toast to try and stop the smirk from breaking through.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

By 10am everyone was sitting in the living area waiting on Lydia to finish her make up in order to all go together to scout out the preserve to make sure that the Merman had actually left the territory. "Hurry up babe!" Jackson shouts tapping his foot against the floor impatiently, a second later Lydia's head comes around the corner and meets Jackson's eyes. I try to prevent my self from laughing using the back of my hand to cover my mouth when one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows raises in question and Jackson's face goes pale as he realises that he fucked up. "What was that. Babe?". Jackson gulps and Erica burst into laughter with a look on her face that makes me assume she was trying hard not to laugh also. "Nothing. I love You?", Jackson's words come out in a pained whisper that ends in a question and Lydia grins like a predator closing in on her pray, "Yes, yes you do".

Derek stand up from his arm chair, "Right, we are scouting the preserve to make sure that this merman has gone and that no other creatures have decided to come into the territory unannounced. Split into three teams. Allison, Cora and Peter. Erica, Boyd, Lydia and Jackson. Stiles, Scott, Isaac and I. Stick to your groups and your sections of the preserve. We will all meet in the clearing to the right nearest the lake where we met the merman so that we appear together as a stronger front. Okay?". Everyone nods their heads, separates into their groups before we all head to the door and break into our different groups before dispersing into the sections of the preserve, us precious humans making sure to stay close by one of the wolves.

I got bored after an hour. The first half an hour like most scouting missions and stakeouts and other such situations involve adrenaline with slight excitement but after that subsides it is just boring. Even though the sun is still out and getting to the point of bring just over our heads the October air was as crisp as always which I was not really into considering I am cold like all the time anyway. Today was one of those days where it looks like it should be lovely and warm but is actually horribly cold with no clouds in the sky to keep what little heat that there is. I found my self pulling my sweater closer round my body and huffing in discomfort and an attempt to get some sort of heat. I am walking behind the others slightly. Derek is only a few hundred yards away, sniffing at the air and scanning the forest with glowing red eyes while the two pups run on ahead with their supernatural speed only occasionally running back up to Derek, reporting something and then running away again in a flurry of dirt leaves and curly haired puppyish glee. I huff to myself, of course those two would still be all couplie and excitable during something as boring as this. I have to grumble again when my converse gets caught in a tree root and I almost fall flat on my face. Stupid gravity.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

It takes four hours... four freaking hours for us to completely sweep out our segment of the forest and gather with the others in the nearest clearing to the lake. I am sitting counting the smudges on my converse when Jackson's group arrives last. "So, yeah nothing", Lydia huffs in anger, "Nothing for us either", Peter adds and Derek just makes an annoyed huffing noise. "Lets go check out the lake then, maybe he really did leave", Cora says her tone bordering on exasperated. They stand in a circle a few steps away from where I am sitting so I could still hear their conversation as they run down the points on what we where going to do if we found the merman still lurking in the lake. I go to stand up and everything kind of swishes to the side but I regain my footing and shake off the pulling feeling low in my stomach before going to stand next to Derek.

As I slide in next to him he gives my arm a squeeze, "You ready?", I just nod and Cora flings her arms up in the air, "Thank god, can we just get this over with while we still have day light! We have been out here for hours!". Jackson being Jackson of course has to comment, "someone is being awful grouchy", this of course leads to the young kanima groaning because of a pain across his head curtesy of the youngest Hale's palm. "Lets just get moving I want to get back to the house".

The clearing with the lake is bright and clear as streams of sunlight burst through the gap in the canopy. I swear I am not even exaggerating when I say that the birds where tweeting away and the air was unusually warm for October. The grass surrounding the shimmering blue lake was a obnoxious green and everything just seamed to spew serenity. It was disconcerting. I watch as Derek stroles up to the side of the lake flanked by Peter and Scott while the rest of the pack wait with me by a tree stump that is about 10 times smaller than the Nemiton yet I still find myself taking a step away from it and placing myself beside Lydia so she is between me and the stump.

I am lost in my little 'avoid the puny stump' gesture and don't notice Derek howling until my attention snaps to the wolf as the howl echo in the clearing and a set of very upset birds fly out of near by trees into the sky and far away from the disruption. Even after the sound from Derek's howl dissipates there are ripples that flow along the crystal-like water disturbing the previously still surface. When the ripples die away the lake goes back to its stagnant state Cora lets out a large sigh, "Well. That was anti-climac-". Of course that is the moment the lake erupts and my sight is covered in a white spray.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

 My vision is blurred and muted. My eyes are stinging and I can hear the blood rushing in my ears. I try to blink away the fuzziness but it seams to make my vision worse and just cause the throbbing in my eyes to intensify. I take a deep breath and choke. My lungs feel thick and start to burn. And of course this makes me start to panic and I begin to thrash only my movements feels sluggish and slow, this just causes me to start to panic further. Then there are strong arms clamping round my waist and a rushing sensation before I am pushed on to my back on something hard and a pressure is placed on my chest before coming off then returning over and over.

The stinging in my lungs rushes to my throat in a fast wave and I am rolling onto my side coughing up water and flinching as my ears pop and sound returns to the world. As I continue to cough I fall back onto my side and lift up a hand to rub at my eyes. The world is filled with shouting and growling and when I lift my head again I see Lydia sitting on her haunches in front of me and Derek running from us in the direction of Jackson, Peter and Scott charging at a male form whom from the torso up is being held in the air by a current of water flowing vertically up from the lake. The man was screeching a horrible sound that was causing my ears to begin to ring again and I felt my skull throb in response, he was caring a trident that's points where covered in a shimmering red. I look behind the merman and Erica is crouched protectively over a fallen Boyd who looks to be clutching his intestines into his torso to allow it to heal, a very pissed look on his normally stoic face.

My attention is brought back to where the others where attacking by a roar from Derek as Scott flies through the air and lands with a huff on top of an equally bruised Jackson collapsed at the bottom of a tree. Derek swipes a clawed hand helplessly at the bottom of the wave as if that will do anything and I want to roll my eyes but they still feel like they will fall out of my head at any sudden movement. The merman screeches another horrific noise causing Boyd, Jackson and Scott to promptly pass out and the rest of the werewolves to fall clasping at their ears. The sound echo's on and on through the clearing and seams to tunnel towards where Peter and Cora are crouched together grasping at their ears. It looks like a twirling ripple of air as it speeds towards them and sends them flying into the air and backwards into a dazed pile by a collection of ferns on the edge of the clearing.

Merman McShinyarse (he's evil. I have every right to call him a derogatory name. Shut up.) give a terrifying grin that has far, far, far too much teeth before levelling his trident at Derek. His sharp voice comes out just as the screech begins to disperse in the clearing, "Now, now, now Alpha Hale", Derek growls so low in his throat it would be easy to believe that it came from his toes, "Won't you all just be good little doggies and let me have your land.". Derek's crimson eyes flare and seam to turn an even deeper shade of red as another deep growl comes from his throat. "I warned you what would happen if you did not leave my territory by the full moon. Your time is up". The merman just laughed. "Look around young pup. Your pack has fallen, you cannot beat me. All you have left standing is a lame Alpha, a pretty little girl and a gangly little human.". Of course Derek just responds with a growl. I gather my feet together and push up on my arms that throb willing me to just stay put. "Stiles!", Lydia hisses, "What the ever living fuck do you think you are doing!". I ignore her and listen to the tiny little part of me in my brain that is for some reason telling me to start walking towards the creature.

Derek has not noticed my approach but Merman McShinyarse has. He lets out another cutting laugh that causes Derek to snap his attention towards me in question, his eyes widening. The merman chuckles as he makes a fist, the water from the lake surging up to make a similar one only at least fifteen times larger. The fist swishes back and Lydia lets out a shout before it come in contact with Derek, with my mate and sends him flying back in the direction of Scott and Jackson who are being threated over by Isaac in their now dreary yet conscious states.

The merman lets out another deep chuckle before speaking, "If it isn't Claudia's son". My foot freezes where it was away to take another step. "W...what!? How do you...". I feel the tugging fear and curiosity through the pack bonds and they thrum like a tight bow string. "How do I know your dear dead mother?", the thing asks. "Such a waste of such a pretty young thing.". I feel my fists clench at my sides and the pooling heat of anger in my stomach. "She was so pretty your mother, I wish I was able to collect her before she died. I do like to collect pretty things", the thing stared me in the eyes and let a sickening grin glide over the shadows of its face.

"Shut up." My vision was turning white and my voice sounded strange coming out between my gritted teeth. "Such a same though", the merman continued, "I bet she would have had a unique taste to her". I felt like sparks of anger where erupting over my vision, sliding over my body, twisting in my fingers, "Shut up!". It felt like I was completely out of my body, I vaguely heard my friends shouting my name in astonishment?, concern?, fear?. The sickening sound of the things voice sliced over my eardrums again, "I can compensate though", the merman's vertical tower of water started to reseed back into the lake bringing him down to eye level, closer and closer as he mocked me. My anger was building and building, feeling like it was going to erupt out of me in a great explosion. "I can just eat your little pack. Make you watch as I pick their brains from my teeth and finish off with the heart of your mate", for a second his sickening sneer was burned into my brain and then my anger exploded.

The world exploded in purple and blue and white light. The creature screamed and screamed and screamed. When the light stopped and the noise stopped all that was left was a pretty clearing, a soaking wet Hale pack and a panting human boy standing in front of a pile of ash. The world tilted and I heard my friends bellow my name once more.

Then the world turned black.

To be continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 22 Chapters and just over 60,000 words later and that is my first fanfic complete!!!  
> I will be continuing with this series with the second instalment coming after May. I hope you have enjoyed this fic and thank you for reading!!!


	23. A/N

Hi Readers, 

This part of the series is complete but I do have to address some of the more consistent comments that I get on this story, both on Wattpad and AO3. 

I started writing this story in 2016, two years ago. It was the first thing I had ever written that I was letting others read and the majority of it had been written at times when I needed to write as a distraction or an outlet. Therefore, much of the time I spent constructing the chapters I was in moments of high emotion and due to this much of the fic is riddled with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. 

I did always read over chapters before I posted them but due to struggles I have had with spelling and grammar I still miss them. You would probably never believe me if I said that I have actually just completed an Advanced Higher qualification in English in my final year of high school, but again two years is a long time.

Due to circumstances within my personal life I have not been able to post in the sequel for almost a year now and even in that time I would like to think that my writing has come a long way. I know my writing is still not the best and my ways of wording sentences etc, can be confusing and I am really sorry for that. I guess if your reading this you made it to the end of the fic anyway, so I suppose I owe you thanks for struggling through the slightly more tedious parts of this fic. 

The last thing I should probably say before I start to go on too much of a tangent is that I will come back to this fic. I promise I will come and try to fix all my mistakes but I can't promise that it won't be for some time. A lot is away to start happening in my life including moving out and going to university, and I also need to make sure I keep myself stable enough to complete the aspects of my life that are finally falling into the places that I want them to be not where others wanted them. This fic was the start of many that I have written (most unpublished as of now) and I loved being able to use it as an outlet -Jesus Christ what an outlet, I had no idea I had that much angst in me - It has been a fun new thing that I loved and I will continue with. 

So, yeah...

I'm sorry that this wasn't the best fic ever, but it was my first. I mean I never thought I had around 60,000 words in me! It helped me more than I ever thought it would and some of you guys who read it commented with some messages that really helped me at certain times, so much that you wouldn't believe.

I thank you for reading and hope with all my heart that you enjoyed even a little bit of the fic,

Shadow xx

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers,  
> This is one of my first fanfics I am posting, it is also the fist fanfic I am posting on both wattpad and AO3 (Also currently making it into a podfic).  
> I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writting it and would love to hear any feed back!  
> Happy Reading,  
> Shadow xx


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